The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Hello,

Can I pop my head in, I think I suffer from GAD. I'm currently on fluoxetine, which is helping give me a leg up. I need to take the next step to go speak with someone about it all.

I do have a checkered mental health history, none of it good (is it ever).

I do feel like I could slip back very easily, and am at the moment just holding out by sheer grit and the determination to never go back to those dark places again.

Anyway, here I am.

Hope everyone's ok this evening. I'm not too bad, but am feeling frustrated at the seeming never ending well of anxiety that is triggered many times a day, over and over again, will it ever stop? However my 'panics' last shorter than they did, and why when I tell myself cbt things like 'there's no evidence, It's just a thought' etc, do I not believe myself? It's like the brain is working against you. Biting the hand that feeds it!

This is my big fear about starting CBT is that I just won't believe it and it's not really going to help me. I totally get the brain working against you, I have been feeling slightly better I think as the sertraline kicks in but I feel like my brain is still actively scanning for things for me to worry about.

Hi all, can I come in too?
I have been on fFuroxetine for a number of years with on/off depression. Never been offered any counselling or anything on NHS. Now though, I am also struggling with anxiety. I can sit down and find it impossible to relax. Not sleeping properly and just on edge all the time. I'm also constantly tired and exhausted.

I worry all the time about what people think of me, what I say and what I do to the extent that I just don't really bother making friends or trying to go out. I'm separated with 3 young children and just feel really alone.
I never feel at ease and I even work through lunchtimes at work to avoid the staff room.
I'm always polite,helpful and try and do kind things for people. I try to put on a face all the time. Nobody knows how I feel, nobody has asked and I feel like I have nobody to talk to at all. :(

Hi, could I join too? I've suffered with depression on and off since childhood but the anxiety didn't get a hold of me until about 6 years ago. The frustrating thing for me is a couple of months ago I was feeling great, the best I've felt in years. Then a couple of extra worry/issues to deal with and bang I feel I'm right back where I started! I've read this thread and there has been so much good advice and you are all so strong, it has helped me remember that I can get through this so thank you all for that xx

Morning I could have written some of that, I feel like my self worth and self esteem is in the pan and it's horrendous. You always worry that people think you're a terrible incompetent wretch. It's not a nice existence is it.

Rainbow and tribble morning! ..I'm sending you some flowers but my phone won't let me. It is horrid. Glad to find this thread and know we are not alone in feeling like this. Xx

Hello, I'd like to join. I have a very stressful few weeks coming up, my DDs are going to need lots of emotional support, and DH is working away. I have so much to do, and I feel quite unwell with it all. Just trying to work out coping strategies for the week, so that I can support my DDs. I already take Citalopram, and have cut out caffeine and alcohol. I need a boost / distraction though. I normally exercise but this bout of anxiety has disabled me. OP you are so right about the loneliness of it all. Can't talk to friends as they all have their own problems. Does anyone recommend a book that can help practically - with advice and humour?! TIA

Hongkong, I think they say that eventually you start to believe yourself, my case is very severe, so someone else would probably start believing themselves sooner. For those on fluoxetine who now have anxiety, sorry to say, one of the side effects is anxiety. It happened to me when I was prescribed it. Some other types of SSRI don't have this.

Totally get what you're saying re exhaustion and self worth on the floor. It takes so much away from you

I'm relapsing today. I've had a great week with the very odd and very minor wobble, but otherwise I was functioning properly. I felt some positive and happy emotions about DH and life in general.

Yesterday I'd planned to go to bingo with my friend and due to one thing and another I was running late so I had to rush to pick her up on time. We had a good few hours and we chatted a bit about my anxiety and how much better I felt.

I went to bed not too late and I fell asleep easily, but I woke at 2.30 with a panic and anxiousness that I had been caught speeding and that I would lose my license. I had to rationally calm myself and remind myself that I didn't speed and that there are no cameras on the 5 minute journey to her house.

I read a bit and then listened to my audio book to settle back to sleep. I woke this morning feeling ok-ish but a bit bewildered about the night-time panic. DH came and chatted to me so I told him about the panic during the night. He then laid with me for a cuddle and all was well and then he said he loved me and I gave him a squeeze back. We laid a bit longer and then he asked if I loved him (this is quite normal from him) and I can't say it to him. I told him that he shouldn't ask and that I know deep down I do and that I know I want to stay with him and that I've felt better for about a week and that I don't think I could have laid and cuddled 10 days ago.
From this I'm now uneasy and the fear is bubbling away in me. I'm worried that he now thinks I don't love him and it's all going down the pan.
I want to talk to him about it but I'm also scared I'm going to dig a deeper hole.
I've tried to focus on my breathing in a mindful way and just accepting the thought as a thought and recognising and accepting I'm anxious and it means nothing.
I'm travelling tonight and will be in a hotel by myself for work tomorrow and I'm worried about getting caught doing something wrong with my driving on the way there and I'm worried I'm going to into full blown panic tonight and tomorrow and that I'm not going to be able to do my job.

lovemysituation Really? How have you managed and is there another antidepressant that would work with both?

Also does anyone have a 'time' thing relating to anxiety? I always have to get places stupidly early as I can't deal with being late.
I turned up for my last interview about 50 mins early (didn't get the job!) I told them I was happy to wait in the waiting room, but I'd freaked out beforehand as it was somewhere I didn't know and a large city.
I have a real fear of being late :(

I worry about being late and when I'm have a few things to do at once, that I won't have time to do them. I'm anxious about the DC going back to school in the morning and will we make it on time. I know it's irrational, DS is starting year 13 and we've only been late a couple of times in all those years! I'm in Duloxetine as Fluoxetine did nothing to help my anxiety but I don't like the side effects (sweating, fatigue, feeling spaced out) and the withdrawals when cutting down are awful.

I worry about being late and I constantly worry I won't get things done on time. I've had quite a good weekend but I can feel the anxiety creeping back in thinking about Monday and work. I'm really trying to push it away and not worry until tomorrow. I'm so sorry there are so many of us suffering but I am finding comfort in this thread that I'm not the only one who feels like this as it can be so lonely and hard for others to understand.

I'm here in the hotel. I had a cry on DH's shoulder before I set off and told him my worries about driving here. I think he now sees and understands a little more how the anxiety affects me.
I feeling better now that I'm here. I listened to Claudia on radio 2 on the way down as a distraction.

Morning, well, it was years later that I realised (after i'd developed severe OCD so had something to compare it with) that the anxious feelings i had with the OCD had been there in a milder way since I took Prozac. It didn't trigger the OCD, but it didn't help. It is listed in the leaflet as a possible effect, same with sertraline (also prescribed that)

I've been on three types of SSRI at various times, and all of them have ranged from ineffectual to leaving me in a trance or suicidal. My mood now is better than in years and I truly attribute that to not messing around with neurotransmitters anymore. I'm considering beta blockers to help, but I am trying to apply Cbt principles, face my fears, and act like i would if I was a non anxious person.

There are a few types of SSRI where anxiety isn't listed as a side effect. I'd suggest doing a bit of research. There was a recent study that suggested social anxiety may actually be linked with too much serotonin, so you may want to research that.

St John wort is a frontline treatment for depression in Germany, I've found it better than SSRIs with no side effects. Though it interacts with the Pill, if that's relevent to you. German makes are more potent

Hi all, I'm really struggling at the moment and was after some experience with St. John's wort.
I started it about a week and a bit a go but I don't feel any different. Am I expecting too much? I just got them in Tesco, has anyone found any good dosage information? I'm wondering if it's just not strong enough.
I've got a real shitty couple of weeks coming up I can feel my anxiety raising already

Thanks Love, all very interesting. I've been reading about the side effects. irritability,sleep problems, feeling not quite with it, anxiety, unable to sit still and restless. All these apply to me.

I've been on them quite a few years though as mentioned up thread. I'm unsure how I'd feel without them unless I can get some help (like CBT) and I think this would take a long time on the NHS.
Strangely, since having children, I think I have disconnected myself from many things in the past which probably caused these problems. Almost as if it were never me. Obviously still impacting my life though.
I'll look into st Johns wort. I don't take the pill - Advised against I had a DVT a few years ago and errm I don't have any need to! :( .

Horris, it will take around a month I would say to kick in. I would recommend Kira, I know the Tesco type, did not much for me either. No idea about dosage, but I'll have a look.

Selenium is great for anxiety, I have Tetley detox tea with it in, and it's really calming, almost instantly too. Magnesium too, but as expensive as possible! Rescue remedy will help with short term stress as well

You're right Morning, CBT does take ages. I live in the country, and even here, its months. It's interesting what you say about having children, for me, having my son seemed to trigger a tsunami of forgotten childhood trauma suddenly unleashed, taken years to understand it. It's resulted in a not very good relationship with him Which is down to me ultimately

SJW dosage 300mg 3 times a day Horris

Thank you so much. I tried to google but couldn't find much of use. I'm reluctant to hit the gp as I find it difficult to find the right words.
Interesting about Tesco and you too!
I will try and sniff out Kira
That dosage is much higher than I am taking - presumably why it's not doing anything!!

Thank you so much.

I have had this horrible anxiety/panic attacks for 2 yrs now:/ i have seen 2 lots of counsellors,various tablets,but still its there everyday..some days i wake up and know i cant leave the hse that day..i have been online to look for groups,but have found none(that are free anyway) i haven't been into a pub for nearly 2 yrs because im scared it will happen..sometimes when im driving i have to pull over and do the breathing tecnic..am new to this site and soooo happy i have found it.so was putting this out there to see if anybody has any advice to help me outta this trap i feel im in..

Welcome Bear.

I've had an ok day I had one moment where I heard the word divorce and I had that leaping stomach sensation but I told myself it means nothing and the sensation soon passed.
Has anybody tried magnesium supplements to help with anxiety? I think I might give it a try. I'm currently taking the following:
a general multivit for the b vits and iron, I've taken one for years
Starflower and evening primrose for pmt symptoms (taken for years)
L-lysine to help with reducing the instances of coldsores (again taken for years)
Omega -3 /cod liver oil depending on what's in the cupboard (only got 1 month)
Acidophilus to aid digestion and general bowel issues.(for about 2 months)
I also consume raw cacao powder and maca powder to help with hormone regulation, but not necessarily everyday.

Vel i tell myself 10 times a day that "its all ok,nothing bad is gonna happen) it usually does but thats cause im just an unlucky bugger,and not because my stupid mind is making it happen..im taking 10mg of an antidepressant every time it gets bad in the day..i am going to look into the st.john-worts remedy tho,have read afew ladys saying about it on here

Bear look to see if this might help. It's the workbook from the CCI website. www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=44
Apologies if this is teaching you to suck eggs.
I've been and bought some magnesium and I've decided to take 1×300mg per day on an evening and the see how I get on.
I'm feeling calm this evening with no worrying thoughts.