The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Hi all. I am having an anxiety attack again. I also have a headache, I haven't had any citalopram for about 4 days so I think I'm suffering from withdrawals.

My partner and I have made up after a fallout. This really helps my anxiety as I feel better when he's supporting me. I love him a lot. He's a great father to our children.

I'm hoping this anxiety attack passes soon.

you should not stop cilatopram cold turkey
Trust me !!

Sending you peace calm, hope it passes quickly for you

Hi calm , hope you feel better soon. Yes think you are advised to titrate the citalopram down gradually.

Thanks guys. The reason I came off my citalopram was because I get such bad anxiety attacks going to the chemist to pick up my prescription. They had me on weekly dispensed prescriptions so I had to go every week. I phoned up the chemist and explained that I was too anxious to come and get my medication and asked if they could be delivered. The answer was no. Hence the cold turkey withdrawal. I feel fine mood wise but physically I feel a bit weird. Hopefully it passes soon.

Hi everyone. I don't want to bring anyone on the thread down.
Can anyone can suggest anything to calm me. Basically I am having one long anxiety attack, since yesterday. I just can't calm down. I have been for a walk and am about to have a bath. I listened to a meditation but had to turn it off after ten minutes I felt so agitated. I feel breathless and have fast heartbeat and trembling but it's more like very severe anxiety than a full on panic attack though it could be panic. makes me feel such despair. I don't get why I have gone so downhill the last week or two, it feels like it won't end. I am trying to focus just in one day and getting though that.

Hi soapbox, if you scroll back a few pages, I posted a link to a technique which really works to get rid of that feeling you describe that I know all too well. Good luck

Hi Aint. Sorry you are feeling this way. My anxiety attacks last a few hours only so I can't imagine how distressed you are feeling

Just remind yourself that this will pass and you WILL feel better. Do you have any chamomile tea in the house? This always helps me. Or maybe some warm milk or something like that? Sorry if they are silly suggestions. Try the technique that LoveMySituation posted the other day. I hope you feel better after your bath

Ain't, I hope you've found some relief.

My friend who has had therapy said she felt much worse before she got better.

Thankyou for comments. I still feel horrendous but am comforted by your kindness.
Love- I did the five hats, am familiar with this already as a grounding technique. Thankyou.
Calm, Thankyou for kind words. I am literally at the end of my tether and feel as if I can't cope. I don't want to worry my family and my partner is not helpful. I e mailed my therapist and she hasn't replied. She doesn't really read them at the weekend so she may reply Monday. I will ask for appt on Monday. The worst thing is I am trying to get better via this trauma therapy, but I'm not better and I can't tolerate it. I need to have a chat with her about where to go from here as I feel horrendous and just want to escape from myself, and everything.if it wasn't for the children I think I would be suicidal. I feel beside myself and don't know how I'm going to get better. I'm so far, a ' functioning' person with mental health difficulties, and I don't want to let everyone in my new job down. It's horrendous, I'm anxious at home, in a shop, talking. I can hardly talk, or watch TV, and can't settle to read anything.
Velma . Thankyou, I have been in therapy for a while , and was better, so I thought, but this trauma therapy is tearing me apart.
Your comments have brought me some comfort so Thankyou.

Hi everyone. Aint I hope you are feeling better today. I'm feeling ok today. I think I'm over the worst of my citalopram withdrawals. My headache is gone. Mood is quite good. So all in all it's good.

I hope everyone is ok.

Hi everyone, I am feeling a bit better today. Yesterday I followed the MIND website urgent help link 'help for five minutes' , which led to a short meditation, and repeated it, also did other grounding techniques with slight improvement.What a horrendous feeling of distress.
Then I woke this morning feeling slighter better, and that has carried on thank God.
Thankyou to everyone.

Hi calm, glad you feeling better. Yes I am feeling a bit better today thank goodness :)

I'm really glad to hear that Aint

Day 3 of Sertraline. Yesterday I had pretty strong nausea and feeling faint. Then moments of calm then sickness, calm then sickness over and over. Then an inexplicable excited feeling briefly that went. Continued fatigue. This morning I feel ok so far. I'd love a duvet day but can't because of the dcs. My appetite is not great. I'm eating because I have to.
Ironically I keep feeling anxious about taking the meds.

The butterflies in my stomach don't seem to be that prominent at the moment.

How are you all doing today? How's it for you wizard?

Hi What, day five for me and today's the first day I've taken a whole tablet rather than half.
I too have been struggling with the nausea, and lack of appetite. I feel absolutely exhausted and my anxiety has been awful, but I don't think it's been worse since starting the sertraline.
I'm also having to build myself up to actually taking the medication, as I'm still very anxious about it.
Rubbish weather here today so great excuse to have a lazy day around home.

I really hope the side effects are worth it overall. I don't know how being without anxiety. I am hoping to be less irritable and impatient without the usual stress. Not sure how I'm going to be, or if it suits me even. The not knowing is giving me anxiety though!
Am trying some other apps out to see if any work. Found some reiki music on YouTube which is wonderfully relaxing.
Headspace still not working for me but will persist.

Hi all

I had a terribly sad day on Saturday. I ended up having gut wrenching sobs on and off for about 2 hours about my Mam. It was the 2 year anniversary of her death yesterday. One good thing that hapoened during this time, was that I felt as though I wanted DH to come and make me better. I didn't go to him, but I'm pleased that my head made the link. Afterwards my head was much clearer and I had less anxiety.

Today I've been at work and ive been busy all day. I'm now tired and the anxious feeling has returned and I've got the looking at my life through a window feeling again. My period has started to day aswell.

I'm away again for 6 nights from tomorrow with DD and my Dad, and DH will come and meet us at the weekend. I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm pleased I told my Dad of the situation when were were last away because he asked me how I'd been this last week.

I'm seriously considering see the psychologist my friend recommended when I get back.

💐🌷That sounds really emotional and like a strong release of grief velma. Hope you are feeling more settled now. There is a prescription book on grief available from the GP I think. Hope you enjoy your trip.

Hope that doesn't sound too trite velma, obviously a book can't heal your grief, I Just remembered reading a prescription book on PTSD a while back.

I have the first ' full on ' day at my new job tomorrow. I am feeling what I am mentally labelling ' natural nervousness' which I am hoping to keep in check, also try to think of it as excitement, also think how relieved I'll feel tomorrow night. I am trying to be a good employee, punctual, cheerful, able to complete expected tasks, and I'm going to keep it all about the work.

Hi everyone. Aint I hope you had a good day at work.

I'm having another anxiety attack. I keep reminding myself that it will pass. Hopefully it just lasts for another hour or so. I'm going to have a bath once the children are in bed.

I had my CPN round today. She says I'm very unstable and she could see me ending up in hospital again. She found out that I'd stopped all my medication. I told her that I'd started taking 5 htp. So she said she was reporting me to the social services. My partner told her I was only wanting the 5 htp to get high. This wasn't true.

So after she left I decided to stop taking the 5 htp if it's gonna cause so much hassle. I phoned my CPN and told her. She said she had already spoken to a social worker so they're still gonna come round. So in the next couple of days we are expecting the social services to visit us

I don't see why everyone's ganging up on me, all I wanted was to try a supplement to help with my anxiety

How is everyone else doing?

Hi calm really sorry to hear you are having a panic attack. It sounds like the CPN is dismayed you have stopped your medication and is worried you may relapse. How do you feel? Do you have a specific diagnosis - don't disclose if you don't wish to of course. I hope things settle down for you this evening, you deserve it, you are kind to others on here.
I don't know what 5 HP is - is it an over the counter medication?

Thankyou Aint for your kind words. My official diagnosis is paranoid schizophrenia. Although I believe I have been wrongly diagnosed. My diagnosis before that (and what I believe I truly have) is OCD. My OCD got so bad before which led to psychosis hence my diagnosis.

My anxiety attack seems to have passed thankfully. I am in a positive mood, I have been thinking about how I avoid going out and I feel ready to change things. I have decided I'm going to go to my group on Thursday (it's an arts and crafts group for people with anxiety and depression). I'm a bit nervous about going though. I will get a lift there from a lady at the CMHT and then I will have to walk home afterwards. Gonna make myself go.

I told my partner of my plans to get out and about more and he said it's not me you have to convince things to, it's the social workers. He thinks they might deem me as unfit to be around the children what with my history of hypomania and now the self-medicating with the 5htp (by the way, 5htp is a supplement, it's an amino acid which the body converts into serotonin. It's used by people to help depression and anxiety, sleep problems and as a weight loss aid). I'll just have to wait and see what happens when they come round.

How was work Aint?

Can I ask how your OCD turned into psychosis Calm? I have OCD, It's been absolutely horrendous today, hours washing, now in bed exhausted. I had no idea it can turn into psychosis. Or maybe it can't if you think its wrong. I'm sorry to hear about SS, I hope you get a reasonable one! I've taken 5 htp, I found it did help, but it's not what I needed as I'm not depressed. I found one called AX1, that basically puts the neurotransmitters back in order. It worked, but it's £26 a month!! So stopped