The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Hello everyone. Can I join this thread. Reading through makes me feel like I'm not alone- finally! I've never been formally diagnosed with anxiety but recognise so many similar traits. I wonder often if it's worth talking to a doctor but then Chicken out. Anxiety ranges from debts, to health, to work etc. I play scenarios in my mind. I doubt myself at work and then spend all night worrying in case something happens the next day. I get physical tightening in my chest and feelings in my stomach. Sometimes I can calm myself but recently it's become worse. I have great husband who is worried about me. It's not always like this but becoming more frequent.

Sleep sleep sleep.....

I ended up staying awake longer than I should have last night and my worry thought was the first to spring into my mind this morning. Lesson learnt I think is to go to sleep when I feel tired (within reason) rather than faffing doing othe stuff.

I fell asleep a little earlier on Tuesday and I had my good day yesterday, so i will come to bed earlier rather than later tonight.

Have a good day everyone.

Welcome to the thread anxiouslady.

Checking in. A couple of bad days which I think are partly because my DP is away and that always makes it harder. I've been sewing and some embroidery (the course I went to at the weekend) which is quite calming as I can't think of other things.

Hope everyone else is having a calmer day.

Hi all. I'm feeling ok today, a bit of anxiety creeping in. I seem to have my anxiety attacks at aroundabout teatime and they last until early evening. I had one yesterday, took a valerian capsule and had a cup of chamomile tea and still wasn't calm. Then I had a shower. I've never experienced an anxiety attack in the shower before, it wasn't very pleasant. Then after a while I calmed down. It is such a relief when my anxiety attacks end. I'm trying not to anticipate an attack tonight, I am scared of having one though. I seem to have one every second day. So I might be alright tonight.

The kids are getting on well at school and nursery. My DD had a good first day at nursery yesterday so I was able to relax a bit when she was gone today. I was really anxious when she was gone yesterday.

I hope everyone has a calm evening.

Welcome to the thread anxiouslady.
Calm- glad the children are settled back into school and nursery. Hope the panic attacks settle down soon.

I am having therapy for trauma at the moment and it's making me feel awful, low, hopeless and so anxious. Is anyone else having trauma therapy? It's so disruptive to my work and life yet I feel I need to continue. Yesterday I felt horrendous.

Tomorrrow is the first proper working day in my new job. I am hoping that I can be excited not anxious and show them my skills, rather than feeling worried and unconfident.
Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow :)

I'm on day two of sertraline and I'm so worried about side effects and increased anxiety, could I have a handhold and reassurance please?

Hi wizard. I've been on several different SSRIs so I know what it's like to start them. You do feel a bit weird for the first little while but it's important to persevere with them. I've had increased anxiety starting them but it does settle down. Be kind to yourself and do the bare minimum of chores etc as you get used to the drug. Your doctor prescribed you antidepressants because they thought you needed it and they WILL help you, you just have to give them a chance

Good luck aint
Wizard it does get easier I think - the tablets can just make you feel rubbish in the beginning. They'll settle down.

aint try not to over think about work today. Work is tomorrow, enjoy today for what it is.

wizard I've never taken SSRI's so I can advise, but as calm said, if the doctor didn't think they'd help then you wouldn't have been prescribed them. Think if the long term benefits rather than the immediate problems.

I had a much better sleep last night and I have very little to no anxiety feelings this morning.

Isn't it strange that until you know what us wrong you just seem to plod on in a worrying and feeling bad way. I had a good day at work yesterday and as I was sat doing some relatively non thinking admin work I sat listening to music through my headphones. I knew my music was loud, but I didn't realise how loud and others in the office were asking me to turn it down because they could hear the tinny hissing sound from the headphones. Anyway after my attention had been caught my Manager asked me to turn it down a bit in a really nice way and people in the office including my manager were laughing in a nice way saying they had been trying to catch my attention for a good minute. I knew they weren't annoyed at me or anything but I had the naughty girl feeling which lasted for a good 20 minutes. I had to keep reassuring myself I'd not done anything wrong.

Before I would have felt like this and I would have just thought, 'oh, that's how I am', but now i know it's all to do with the anxiety.

I ended giving myself a good

Sorry, I keep catching the post button.

I ended up giving myself a good talking to and reminding myself that everyone laughed and got on with their jobs. I'd not spoiled antibodies day or anything and it's just one of those things.

Antibodies =anybodies

Wizard I'm starting Setraline today too. (I have an anxiety thread I started yesterday). I'll hold your hand.

Hi What, that's great, perhaps we can check in with each other? Do you have any experience with SSRIs previously? What dose are you on? Are you doing anything else to try to help with your anxiety?

Wizard I got seen this morning and put on 50g dose. I've never taken these before at all. Ive been in denial for many years! I am keeping on with the mindfulness app Headspace but it's so slow to show results. I am going to persevere though as people say it takes a while. Lavender oil is good too to help me sleep...eventually!
Are you trying anything else that's helping?

What, I've been put on a 50mg dose too but when I expressed how nervous I was of taking it he said I could ease myself into it with half a tablet each day. I really hope it works because my anxiety has reached a point where it is really affecting my everyday life. I just had a quick scan of your thread from yesterday and coincidently my anxiety spiralled after I passed my driving test last year. I suffered terribly with nerves whilst learning but I was always able to manage it, but after I passed it became impossible to manage. I now haven't driven at all for two months and I'm absolutely gutted because I was hoping passing my test would open so many doors for me.
I too am using the headspace app, I just need to stick to it. I've also cut out all caffeine as I have found this really exasperates the anxiety for me and I'm waiting for a referral for CBT but to be honest I have no idea what to expect in regard to that!

Oh that's interesting regarding your driving test and I'm sorry it's stopped you from driving. I wonder if I would be the same. Roads are so busy and I find the intensity of being aware of so many things in all directions at once tiring. Well done though on passing! That must have been very trying considering your anxiety. Well done!

Yes, I too have quit caffeine - I was partial to a latte but have cheerfully stopped. My heart rate was too fast giving me the same symptoms as anxiety.

My GP said I would be doing group therapy sessions. Not sure how much I'll be able to contribute though as I've only just admitted this problem to myself let alone tell a group of strangers. I would probably prefer one to one CBT just specifically for my driving anxiety but I can't really afford it right now.

I've had my letter through from talk therapy to say that I've agreed to the high intensity CBT, but the waiting list is upto 3 months.

When the go said the waiting list for talk therapy was 6 weeks it was actually a little over 3 months, so I don't think I'm going to start therapy until at least end November at the earliest.

I think I might contact the psychologist my friend recommended and see if I get improvement with her help.

Sorry to hear about the delay velma.
I am having psychological therapy but not sure it's helping , seems to be making me even worse. I am anxious to the point I think I might have to stop work if I don't pick up soon. I was nearly having a panic attack in work today.
Sometimes I am fine but at the moment it's really severe. It's exhausting living like this.

Hi everyone, Reading with interest and lots of head nodding as I feel like many of you - I have while stretches of a day when I feel I can cope then bang, it's all gone in one huge panic attack... I have been here before with anxiety - about 12 years ago - and I was lucky enough to have an amazing counsellor at work (who happened to be an on-screen counsellor for the hideous JK show). He was adamant that the combo of medication and talking therapy was the best way forward - I just could not cope with the CBT while my brain was screaming to be let out of the room. Once I had the mess sorted at the right dose, I was able to take on the therapy and actually benefit from it. I know it's not for everyone- and I'm currently trying to get used to Mirtazepine which is making me tired but wired... but I do feel like it's the best way. Today is an ok day, but even writing about anxiety makes me feel... anxious!

Is anyone on beta blockers? It seems they help sometimes, and I'm really scared of going down the SSRI route, many bad experiences. But it's got to the point that I dread the rest of my life being one long exhausting anxious feeling

Hi Love, I've been on beta blockers for a few months now but have just had my dose increased as to be honest, they've given me as light relief with heart palpitations but not much else.
I too am terrified of SSRIs but finally gave in and am now on day three of sertraline, so far I'm going okay just a little more anxious than usual.
Good luck, I can't imagine living the rest of my life like this, I've really reached the end of my tether.

Hi wizard, this I think has stopped me so far, thinking, as you said, that it would have an affect on the heart more than anxiety. Llll

Oops, I know what you mean about the end of your tether, I'm there too, just nothing seems to work, and if it does, it doesn't work for long. Good luck with the sertraline

I'd like to join in. I'd never really thought about it that way before OP but anxiety is truly a lonely journey. You've got all this stuff going on in your head and think it's only you that suffers like this. I'm sick of anxiety being such a part of me and stopping me enjoying the really good life I have. I know all the things I should be doing to overcome this but basically deep down I'm ashamed of myself and can't take the step to get help. I don't want medication and the short course of cbt I had was a waste of time. I only did that as it was accessible by telephone. Talking about things is the way forward for me.

So far my day has been relatively good. I'm now recognising that tiredness exacerbates my ability to not control the anxious feeling and anxious thought. This morning, when talking about the situation with my dancing mum friends, I didn't have an inkling of the panic and fear feeling. About 30 mins ago, the instrusive thought popped up and the anxious feeling has bubbled at a low level.

Talking to my friends is really helpful, they have no expectation of 'perfect life' and we are all different, one is a very hard worker, poor education, husband works night shifts and he is struggling to find a daytime job in the profession he has been training In for part time, one is a professional, relatively affluent, husband, has a nice expensive car and house etc., but she herself suffers with depression and anxiety and takes medication, another is on her second marriage with a husband who sees parenting from a different angle to her and she has 5 kids ranging from 20's down to 4 yrs.

I was opened up more about my home life and how I think that might affect my moods (untidy house and lacking motivation) and how my DH is naturally untidy and DD is taking after him so i feel like im losing a constant battle. If anybody comes round I normally pick up the mess and chuck it into the bedrooms and shut the doors so that they think its tidy all the time.

They see and know that no relationship or life is perfect and we all have our ups and downs and we just have to do our best. They spurred me on to tackle a room, so I've done my kitchen and now I'm going to do my bathroom. DH has done some tip runs and DD has tidied some toys out etc.

Before I tackle the bathroom i'm going to do a 10 minute mindful meditation to try and get rid of the anxious feeling and to accept that the thought is there, but it's just a thought.