The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

I know how you feel calm. There is a way to stop it instantly. It's called the 5 thinking hats technique. I swear it works. I was amazed.
<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/url?q=affinitymagazine.us/2017/01/16/time-to-put-on-your-5-thinking-hats-with-this-new-coping-mechanism/&sa=U&ved=0ahUKEwjX4fjC2tTVAhUBLMAKHXkUC9gQFggLMAA&usg=AFQjCNHNIPGv_M6jjh6SbiTkgVDTa_bnfw" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here Tetley detox tea with selenium works brillantly too

Thankyou LoveMySituation. I tried the five thinking hats technique and I feel a lot calmer. Gonna have a cup of chamomile tea now.

That's great calm. Takes a few goes before it totally worked I found. I've also been shouting(not out loud!) 'Stop f.bullying me!' That works too, the angrier the better!

Well I've just tried it the once and I actually feel like my anxiety attack has passed! The chamomile tea also always helps me. Thanks so much for the link!

You're welcome calm. Glad it helped

But the Rachel Ramos mentioned in the article is a scam! So l don't advise doing what I did! Calm Clinic it's called.

Morning lovely people. Hope all ok on a Monday morning. I am better, lurched out of the fear pit I created for myself. Just when you think you might not have anxiety it seems to pop up in a different form.
The cause of my anxiety is fear from a long time ago. When it gets tapped into it feels all pervading. I hope it will go eventually.
Today I am enjoying the fact I cleaned yesterday and baby sitting.

Hi all

Calm - be proud of yourself for working through the attack. Your attacks sound very much like mine.

I had my appt this morning and I'm going to have High Intensity CBT around the intrusive worrying. The counsellor said it is extremely common with those that have long term anxiety. I've to look at a website before the treatment starts (They will contact me in a few weeks to make an appointment). I've had a quick look and the first module explains GAD so I'm going to show DH it so that he understands.
I also told the counsellor of my current thoughts and understanding about my topic of worry where I think it's more a fear rather than the truth and he told me he was pleased I'd worked through the issue and was impressed at the mental progress I'd made in the past few weeks.
He explained that long term anxiety due to loss of control (I'm pinning thus to my Mum's death) causes a warped thought (he used another term, but I can't remember it, but it means the same thing) which then makes you fearful and then creates intrusive thoughts.
It was a lightbulb moment and I felt tearful that firstly I've worked / am working through this current anxious thought and that what is happening to me is well known.
If you want to look at the website recommended Google cciworry and it's at the top of page 1.
I'm in work today and I feel focussed to get on with the tasks I need to do.
I hope everyone has a good day.

Hi velma that sounds good , as if you are now on the right track :)
I also have appointment today it's time to get to the very epicentre of those deep fears I think. I don't think I'm going to get better otherwise.
Also agree with loss of control, and loss in general. The combination of those two together make me feel almost out of control and I have to resort to shutting down to cope with it.

Hi everyone. I'm feeling quite good today. Saw my CPN today so was able to chat about my medication. She says to continue with the 10mg citalopram and to just keep doing what I'm doing because it's working.

I have to take my DS to the hairdressers for a haircut tomorrow. I'm a bit anxious about it. Lots of "what ifs" going through my mind. I will try to remain calm. Then on Wednesday DS goes back to school and DD starts nursery (we're in Scotland). Looking forward to some peace and quiet in the house.

I hope you are all having a calm day today.

Hi, so I feel like it's time to open up a little as I'm really struggling with everything at the moment! As a child I basically dragged myself up, my brother and sisters always had there dads to escape to where as mine was absent. My mum a heavy drinker with multiple men in her life! I remember growing up partners hitting her when they were drunk and a lot of abusive behaviour. She dared me to overdose at aged 13 and watched me do it and made me call my own ambulance, performed sexual acts on men with me sat other side of the table. So I moved out on my own aged 20 after sofa surfing for years. I met the love of my life and we got engaged and got a home together. However this is lovely this year has been the worst of my life!
January my mum got out family dog of 17 years put to sleep as she didn't want him anymore
February found out i had misscarried not even knowing I was pregnant for then months later hospital saying they got it wrong and I hadn't I wasn't even pregnant.
April found out I was actually pregnant this time thought everything was well
June we lost our baby and lost a part of us at the same time
This year I also lost my best friend to suicide
I'm really struggling with 2017 and really don't see a way forward from here finding out I may be pregnant again I just don't know what to do with myself I just have so much feeling inside
With no supporting family or friends only my fiancé I'm really really struggling 😞😞

Betta go to the doctors. They will help you and we are all here for you to sound off your thoughts and feelings.

Hi everyone, hope I can join in. Not sure if I have anxiety as I've never been diagnosed or put on medication. I've had counselling on and off for years and often wonder if it helps! I do like to get things off my chest but get sick of going over the same stuff and wish I could just put things behind me.

I don't get panic attacks (just one) but definitely operate on a fight place rather than a flight place if that makes sense. I'm a type a personality, perfectionist, imposter syndrome and very hard on myself with a lot of negative self talk. Some OCD tendencies around counting - not sure if anyone else does that as it sounds mad. Think it was my way of coping with some things when I was younger. My way of controlling things.

I often get a knot in my tummy and have insomnia the last 4 years. Have a 4 month old and the sleep deprivation and guilt that comes with a baby can be crippling. He has colic and constipation and we are currently in hospital as he has a kidney infection. Always thinking I'm not doing it right and how do others cope so easily but then others are getting sleep and I'm not.

Sorry for rambling

Hello everybody,
I hope everybody is feeling calm and settled today.
I've had an awful couple of days, I've made an appointment with my GP to possibly talk through anti depressants again.
I had a horrible and confusing experience yesterday, whilst putting my little one to bed I became nauseous, to the point of vomiting, I had about two hours of intense feelings of nausea, I was very hot, I couldn't catch my breath, although I wasn't breathless it felt as though I just wasn't breathing any air, my heart was pounding and I was in an intense feeling of panic, at one point I was very close to calling an ambulance. I was overwhelmingly terrified that I was going to die. The only way I managed to calm myself was to lay in bed with my fan on and listening to an ASMR video. I've never had an experience like it and it was so sudden and for no apparent reason it was really scary. I've had what I thought were panic attacks before but that felt like something else. I'm wondering if anyone else's can relate?
Sorry about the long post, thanks for reading.

Hi all,
I felt really calm and in control last night and generally quite positive and relieved.
This morning I had positive thoughts about DH and then out if the blue the 'I don't love you' thought popped into my head, which ironically was about 10 minutes after I'd instigated a hug with him.
This thought has set the anxious feeling off again but only on a 1-2 level.
I've been looking around the CCI website a bit more and if any of you do take a look there are also printable workbooks for depression, self esteem and panic attacks etc.
I'm busy procrastinating away from doing what I should be doing (a trait of somebody with GAD ) so I'm going to set myself to complete the 5 most important jobs that need to be done before home time.

Hi everyone I've just discovered this topic and hope I can join in.... I've just started getting the most crippling panic attacks coinciding with a horrendous sinus and ear infection. I feel completely out of it and last night found myself sitting outside at 3am just to try and calm down and reduce the sweating, nightmare panic. I've got an appt with the doctor tomorrow- does anyone have advice on what I can ask for in the way of help? I'm getting about 20 attacks a day and feel like I'm going mad! Reading your stories has helped me feel less alone - thank you x

Not you basically have 3 choices, 1. Medication, 2.therapy such as counselling and 3. A combination of both.

Also don't overlook general blood results because lack of certain minerals have been found to affect mood etc.

I personally have gone down the route of just therapy because I dislike taking medication, and I feel as though I can cope with my current level of anxiety and depression. It has taken since Easter for me to get into the system to start my therapy, so if you feel you need a more immediate result then I would think medication is the way to go.
Good luck at the doctors, they are now generally well clued up on mental health issues.

Thanks Velma - that's very helpful... there must be something underlying my panic attacks so a combo of medication and counselling when I can get it sounds sensible. Well done on getting yourself on the road to recovery and good luck x

Hi all

So far today I feel calm and more my normal self. I'm hoping it continues.

How is everyone else doing?

Hi everyone. I'm feeling pretty anxious, I've just dropped my DD off for her first day at nursery and it feels weird without her. Keep wondering what she's up to. I miss my DS aswell, he's just gone back into primary 2 today. I look forward to picking them up at quarter past three.

Hope everyone is ok today.

Calm, hope all went well with the little ones at nursery.
Velma, you sound very positive and is if you are doing well.
I'm not at my best at the moment. I have some stuff I am working through in the counselling and it's making me feel a bit ropey. I get that overwhelmed feeling and it's a struggle to maintain positivity.
But I am clearing stuff out again- even that makes me nervous, as if I might find something I don't want to find, or get rid of something precious by mistake.
Hope everyone else well and calm. Welcome to Not and all newcomers.

Hello everyone,
Does anyone have any experience of sertraline being prescribed for anxiety? My doctor prescribed it but after a bit of googling it doesn't seem the obvious choice?

I've just been given mirtazepine - we should compare notes! Praying for sleep tonight - managed three 20 minute naps last night and am totally exhausted. Best of luck Wizard - sorry I don't have any advice but no doubt someone will be along soon with some... take care

Thank you Not, I hope the mirtazepine works for you - please let me know how you get on

Low level anxiety has kicked in this evening after the good day I've had. It's really annoying. I'm hoping the good times get more regular and more lengthy.

I'm even aware that my thoughts are nonsense so why won't my mind and body recognise and accept it and just have the anxious feeling sod off somewhere else? The more the anxious feeling stays, the more the thought prevails and vice versa I just keep repeating to myself, "it's just a thought and it doesn't mean anything" hoping that I can convince myself that way.

I'm also feeling some irritability, but I think my period is due, so that isn't helping. DH and DD are just irritating me by talking and I just want to be left alone.

I had a good day at work though and I could focus well and I got a decent amount of work done. The department manager who I've been talking to has now told the other sort of manager in the department (they aren't my manager per se, but they are senior to me and i can have them to give me the yay or nay on decisions if the department manager is not around). The department manager is also going to tell the wider department manager and get advice of whether HR need to be told. I don't want It to turn into a big issue and because the two people in the department know they understand that I might seek reassurance more than normal and that I might procrastinate or take take a little longer to do certain jobs due to the variable levels of concentration the anxious thoughts allow me to have. Likewise, they are aware and happy for me to have a bit of time out during the day if I need it. For example, today I ended up taking my lunch a little early because I saw that the staff room was empty so I was able to eat my food and read my kindle in the quiet.

Oh I dream and wish to have a clear mind where I'm on a constant even keel and the only emotions and thoughts I have are legitimate.