Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

896 replies

Aintgotnosoapbox · 14/07/2017 00:39

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

OP posts:
stuckinreverse · 09/08/2017 16:50

this is the original article i read all those years ago regarding low morning blood sugar/anxiety

anxiousnomore.blogspot.co.uk/2007/08/more-about-morning-anxiety.html

stuckinreverse · 09/08/2017 17:05

hello love, i startle so very easily, hubby is always making me jump out of my skin as he is stealth like in his movements lol, in town last week an ambulance put it's siren on right as it was zooming past me, crikey i jumped a mile, at the time i was holding hubbies hand & he found out how startled i was! it's a common symptom of anxiety but very unpleasant Flowers

BetterEatCheese · 09/08/2017 20:29

Nota - re alcohol, I suffered for a week after the last evening of drinking I had. I am too scared to drink now. It takes me at least a day or two, often more, to get back on track. I just have the odd drink at home now, no more than a glass

800msprint · 10/08/2017 07:34

Morning everyone.
A horrible insomniac night for me. Urgh. It's because I spent most of yesterday fretting over a couple of situations I've been worried about for the past few years. It's funny as I can always tell when it will happen. My head feels sort of clear, not that fuzzy tired, and I can feel my heart hammering away. I should now go for a run but I feel so crappy and tired! Hope you all had better nights?!

800msprint · 10/08/2017 07:37

And yes yes to feeling jumpy.
Also, self conscious! Anyone else? I feel like the anxiety has multiplied lots of other unwanted traits like feeling uncomfortable in social situations and at work now too.

velmadinkly · 10/08/2017 16:12

I can access my mobile data so I'll do a quick post. I woke this morning thinking of DH and I felt the smile and joy inside and I'm hoping the cloud is lifting. I don't know if it's due to the talk with my Dad or because I've been having a quick talk to DH on an evening and it's just a voice not a body if that makes sense. I have to focus on his voice and I remembered how lovely and soothing I find his voice. When we first got together we spent ages talking on the phone and I developed a love for his deep calm voice. I feel a bit happy that I'll be seeing him in 2 days time (It's just me, DD and Dad on this holiday).
This holiday has really helped relax me and I feel a bit sad it will be over in a few days. We'll definitely be back.
I hope everybody has a calm and peaceful day and if not you all cope as best you can.

calmday · 10/08/2017 17:38

Hello everyone. I'm feeling an anxious mess at the moment. Lots of racing thoughts and OCD. Feeling quite scared and like something bad is gonna happen. Wish I had some diazepam.

Sorry you had a bad nights sleep 800. I'm quite lucky as my anxiety has never affected my sleep. I get about 10 hours sleep a night as my children are really good sleepers. So don't have anything to advise for insomnia I'm afraid.

Velma I'm glad to hear you were feeling better this morning. Sounds like your chat with your Dad really helped you. I hope it continues for you.

I hope everyone else is managing ok today.

calmday · 10/08/2017 18:52

Trying some chamomile tea to help calm me down.

calmday · 10/08/2017 21:13

Well I've managed to calm down now. I hate my anxiety attacks, they strike out of nowhere and are terrifying. I kept telling myself that it will end and phew, yes it has! What a relief!

calmday · 11/08/2017 09:09

Good morning everyone. I slept well and don't feel too anxious this morning. I hope you all are well.

Just stood on the scales and I've lost half a stone! Within 10 days off coming off my medications. Looks like I'll actually be able to get thin again! That makes me feel good.

How is everyone today?

Checkedstripes · 11/08/2017 09:55

Well done calm! That's fantastic.

I'm trying to resist the urge to just stay in bed all day. Just feel beyond knackered. I've had three weeks off! Will aim to go for a walk into town later so fingers crossed.

taxiforme · 11/08/2017 11:50

Hi all

Had a busy couple of days and felt ok.
Have my parents coming to stay tomorrow- they live 5 hrs drive away so don't see them often. Bit stressed.

Has anyone any good advice on how to tell them about my MH issues? Being so far away means I have not needed to have that discussion with them. Also, I have always been the high achieving confident daughter and it's hard to admit that I am fallible.

Also, is anyone else going through the menopause and has linked their MH issues to that? I am wondering- I am 49- if what I am experiencing may actually be a really bad start to the menopause?? Deep joy.

Hope you are all calm and settled today xxx to

taxiforme · 11/08/2017 11:56

checked - me too with the tiredness.
I am like a Jeremy Kyle show some days. I have just been out to give the guy mending our fence a coffee and forgot I was still in my jamas.

Not sure if it's years of nervous exhaustion or the meds (20g citralopram - my fourth week) xx

Checkedstripes · 11/08/2017 12:04

Taxi, I think part of it is the meds - I've just hidden from the plumber as he turned up with no warning and I was still in bed. Thankfully he's come back now so it'll force me out of bed hopefully for the rest of the day.

velmadinkly · 11/08/2017 14:54

Taxi, just tell your parents when they do the old, how have you been conversation. MY issues are just as legitimate as a physical and visible illness.
Another good day so far. I feel really calm, but wary that it's going to c

velmadinkly · 11/08/2017 14:55

That's it's going to drop up at some point.

Calm - well done on the weightloss.

calmday · 11/08/2017 15:02

Thankyou velma Flowers

You are right in saying your issues are as legitimate as a physical and visible illness! Spot on.

LoveMySituation · 11/08/2017 18:41

Stuck, I'm so with you on the ambulance sirens! It's horrible when they put it on right next to you. I find if I'm concentrating so much I've almost gone into a trance and someone touches my shoulder or something to get my attention, that makes me jump too.
Flowers to everyone, It's so horrible. And why does everyone talk about 'managing' anxiety? It just needs to go. Forever

LoveMySituation · 11/08/2017 18:44

Taxi, It's great that you're considering telling your parents, seems like anxiety is a bully and it thrives on silence.

calmday · 12/08/2017 14:31

Hi everyone. I'm feeling quite calm and in a good mood today. I've managed to lose some more weight as well which makes me happy.

I decided to reduce my citalopram from 20mg to 10mg as I was having signs of hypomania. I feel much more stable on this dose and hope I continue to be stable. I see my CPN on Monday so I'll be able to tell her that I've done this.

Hope everyone is ok today.

Checkedstripes · 13/08/2017 08:04

Morning everyone. I'm off on a sewing course today that I've been incredibly excited about but yesterday the anxiety kicked in and I spent a lot of night awake and worrying about literally every bloody thing under the sun. Am hopeful that I'll start to feel a bit calmer when there - scissors and needles will prove tricky if not!

Hope everyone has a calm day 🤞🏻

velmadinkly · 13/08/2017 09:56

Checked -I hoow you enjoy your sewing course. It will be something to focus your mind.
Calm - well done on the additional weightloss

Well I got home yesterday and my anxiety has kicked in again and I'm currently sitting on a 2 out of 10. It's not worry, but fear, so the underlying jittery feeling when you fear something. I think I'm working out what is going on and that is I fear I don't love DH, not that I don't love him. Because of the fear I'm hyper vigilent due to or caused by the jittery feeling so I end up not being in the moment but I'm assessing the moment if that makes sense.

When we pulled up the drive DH was mowing the lawn and I didn't feel any negative emotion when I saw him which I'm taking as a positive, all was fine for a few hours and then he was chatting to me and then the thought came into my head, but not an actual real thought based on facts, more like a habit thought, so maybe I am a type 0 as suggested by Calm a few weeks ago?

I have my next telephone appointment on Monday regarding treatments. I also have also been given some details of a psychologist who also works with hypnotism by a friend who also had anxiety. She said that the psychologist advises that treatment is normally complete within 4-6 sessions and my friend was significantly better after 3 sessions, so I'm considering doing that if the treatment suggested by talk therapy doesn't appeal or work very well.

I'm school uniform shopping today and maybe going to the gym. It's a sunny day here so I'm also hoping to get through the washing pile.

calmday · 13/08/2017 12:14

Good afternoon everyone. I feel quite fine today. I've had no signs of hypomania since decreasing my citalopram dose and my mood has remained stable which is good.

I've stopped smoking again today. I currently have a nicotine lozenge in my mouth. Not finding it too hard. I notice sometimes that my mood lowers when I stop smoking but hopefully it won't this time. I had a dream last night about lung cancer and it's made me want to stop once and for all.

Checked I hope you enjoy your sewing course today.

How is everyone else?

Aintgotnosoapbox · 13/08/2017 15:53

Hi everyone. Had the last few days in work and also tying myself up in knots about an issue, falling into those thinking traps again of jumping to conclusions, mind reading and generally panicking.
Anyway today I am ok, am doing jobs at home since I've got less pressure on myself work wise am trying to get up to date with things- cleaning, paperwork, cleaning my car etc
Welcome to everyone new, hope everyone feels calm and settled today.

OP posts:
calmday · 13/08/2017 18:05

I'm currently having an anxiety attack. The anxiety attacks I have are not panic attacks, they're periods of extreme anxiety that last for a couple of hours. Racing thoughts, racing mind. But I look completely calm. This really is a hidden illness.

I had a cigarette. I was struggling and my partner asked whether I'd picked the right time to quit, what with my mental health being so up and down recently. So I had one. And am about to have another one.

Think I'll have a cup of chamomile tea soon. That usually helps calm me down. When I felt like this last time I just kept reminding myself that it will pass, because I know that it will. So I'm doing the same just now.