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Original poster

Help! Breakdown, homelessness teen daughter.

298 replies

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 19:15

I am experiencing another breakdown. I have called crisis team and they are seeing me tomorrow can't see me earlier.

I'm scared. I may be going into hospital which I haven't before. I don't know what this entails.

My daughter has nowhere to go she is 16. We are a tight unit and have been let down by almost everyone else. Her father hasn't seen her in 5 years. But I suspect that's what everyone will tell us to do. He lives hundreds of miles away so it would mean her leaving school and friends and all she knows and me and I am scared he will turn her against me and I'll never see her again, never have the relationship with her I have now which frankly is the only good thing in my life.

She is an amazing person and doesn't deserve to have to deal with any of this.

I can't stop crying, shaking, can barely breathe.

Can anyone tell me what hospital is like (for mh reasons) what would I be allowed to take in/not allowed as I cannot be without my phone as I cannot be out of touch with my girl.

Can anyone please advise or help? I'm drowning here

OP posts:
Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 01:52

Anybody up? Long night ahead.

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erinaceus · 14/04/2017 08:41

Hi Vstressed how are you doing? Did you manage to get any rest last night in the end?

I've been an inpatient for mental health problems a number of times now and am sending you strength and hope. You do not come across as pathetic to me. Flowers

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 08:48

Thank you I managed to doze for a couple hours.

I am ashamed of the situation I am in and ashamed I've allowed it to happen.

Dreading today. Dreading tomorrow even more. Don't even know where I'll be tomorrow (except for very much in LL bad books to point I'm worried about personal safety).

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erinaceus · 14/04/2017 08:55

Hi Vstressed

Shame is one of the most powerful emotions, in my experience. I find it hard to endure; it overwhelms me sometimes.

If you are worried about personal safety, are you feeling safe at the moment? Is LL your landlord?

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:06

Yes LL is landlord but it's hard to explain. Its my own fault I've let everyone down.

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:08

I've not been doing housework so flat a mess and can't fix before LL comes in sat to do a repair. They will go MAD. I can't stay for repair due to a phobia, I need out (this has happened before).

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UnbornMortificado · 14/04/2017 09:11

How big is the flat could your DD not pitch in and help you get it done?

If I could physically help you I would try to but I'm in the arse end of nowhere and supposed to be on bedrest fat change of that with two kids

If the repairs in one room they shouldn't have to look round the entire flat.

erinaceus · 14/04/2017 09:12

Vstressed You don't have to explain. Are you seeing the crisis team today?

I have also believed that it is all my fault and I've let everyone down. I still feel like that sometimes. I'm out of hospital now but my admission was about a month ago. I'm doing much better now. It's gruelling but I am making excellent progress. I suppose I am trying to say that it can be done, although when I felt my lowest people told me they believed I would and could get better and I flat did not believe them at the time, so I am not sure how much it helps Confused sending Flowers

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:18

There is not the time or the physical possibility for someone to sort this place in a day! Would take a team of 2 or 3 cleaners I think! That is so embarrassing!

Repair is related to central heating - need access to all rooms.

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:20

God I've probably outed myself there if LL or anyone sees this!

I've been ill for so long but no consistent support from GP or community team. Not all their fault I think maybe I appear better than I am? Not deliberate on my part just I think I'm hard for people to read?

The proverbial swan - calm on the surface etc

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:21

Also they are really short staffed and struggling to recruit (I'm also in arse end of nowhere)

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UnbornMortificado · 14/04/2017 09:24

You don't have to explain yourself, I've been there. I said before about having family support, that's the only reason I've always got help when needed.

Is there anything that could help break today down for you and get you through it?

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:29

I'm trying to get through today I don't have much support (complicated family situation). The friends I have here are few and not close. I'm not a local.

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:31

I've not had call from crisis team yet is that normal?

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erinaceus · 14/04/2017 09:40

It's tough not being a local. I can relate to that. I found this board a lifeline at times. If you're worried about outing yourself you can ask MN to edit or delete your posts. I have done that once when I posted something that I felt concerned might out me.

With MH services I have found that there is crisis services and there is GP support and primary care based services but there is a gap in the middle if that makes sense? I found that my time in hospital gave me time to think about what I could do to fill that gap - I managed to break out of the cycle of total and utter hoplelessness. It looks like a long hard slog ahead for me but I am going to give it my best shot.

Not sure if that is helpful or not.

erinaceus · 14/04/2017 09:40

Did the crisis team tell you what their next step was?

Jellybean85 · 14/04/2017 09:43

If you do go into hospital social services can help. I work in social care and despite our seemingly terrible rep sometimes for being baby snatchers it's really not true.
I've worked with a lady over the last few months in a similar situation who was hospitalised and was a single parent.
We sorted foster family for her daughter and helped them have twice weekly contact when mum was up to it and several months down the line are helping them sort new flat. Ask for help. It's there Flowers

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:53

Crying at being moved by all your kindness.

Crisis team were a bit weird seemed to think I didn't really need them. Though I was sobbing and begging for help.

They took my number and said they'd call today to arrange to come round and see if I needs to go into hospital. I had hoped it would be an early call. But I don't know how it works.

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:55

Erinaceus I agree I have been under crisis team several times and feel there's a big jump from crisis care to 'normal' outpatient care.

I've gone from 2-3 daily visits from crisis team to 1 hour a week under 'normal' outpatient care and felt abandoned frankly and I don't blame the workers I know it's incredibly short staffed and difficult but ultimately it's really affected my health.

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 09:57

Jellybean I'm scared what will happen to my daughter she is very uncomfortable around strangers and won't/can't talk to them. She is polite and well behaved but won't tell people when she is struggling. I am worried sick about her.

Would you be OK to have a message from me? There's something in particular I am worried about but don't want to post here.

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Jellybean85 · 14/04/2017 10:13

Yea of course. Honestly it will be weird! Of course she will not open up to strangers straight away. But she'll be safe and able to see and talk to you assuming your dr thinks it's ok and she can stay at school and keep some continuity

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 10:25

I've sent a pm jellybean thanks

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 11:03

Called crisis team again - they're not called that any more but I can't keep up and that's what they are to me.

Said they'd call back and took my number again. They said in ten mins that was ten mins ago but gonna give it 15

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 11:19

Different woman called back not as nice. Didn't seem to get what the problem was or how serious.

Feeling abandoned to be honest. She also said several times about being short staffed/bank holiday etc and how it's not really an emergency service

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Floggingmolly · 14/04/2017 11:21

The crisis team isn't an emergency service?? Shock. Keep ringing till they listen