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Mental health

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Original poster

Help! Breakdown, homelessness teen daughter.

298 replies

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 19:15

I am experiencing another breakdown. I have called crisis team and they are seeing me tomorrow can't see me earlier.

I'm scared. I may be going into hospital which I haven't before. I don't know what this entails.

My daughter has nowhere to go she is 16. We are a tight unit and have been let down by almost everyone else. Her father hasn't seen her in 5 years. But I suspect that's what everyone will tell us to do. He lives hundreds of miles away so it would mean her leaving school and friends and all she knows and me and I am scared he will turn her against me and I'll never see her again, never have the relationship with her I have now which frankly is the only good thing in my life.

She is an amazing person and doesn't deserve to have to deal with any of this.

I can't stop crying, shaking, can barely breathe.

Can anyone tell me what hospital is like (for mh reasons) what would I be allowed to take in/not allowed as I cannot be without my phone as I cannot be out of touch with my girl.

Can anyone please advise or help? I'm drowning here

OP posts:

UnbornMortificado · 13/04/2017 21:35

You will not lose your DD, mine are younger and one has additional needs. They both live with me.

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 21:42

Wolfie yea at my best I can recognise a tiny slip and Buck my ideas up but I'm as low as possible right now scarily low.

OP posts:

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 21:44

Youarenotkiddingme. Feels like my whole life has been a fight. Especially since I split from her dad. It's been just the two of us we're a little 'us against the world' team.

OP posts:

Broken11Girl · 13/04/2017 21:44

Yes, you'll be allowed your Kindle and books. Ime they weren't bothered about the content.
You won't lose your daughter. You're doing the right thing - she needs her mum to be well.
Hopefully you will get the help you need after this, to be able to maintain wellness and recognise when you're slipping.

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 21:46

Unborn I know what you mean, I meant at the moment we have a lovely close relationship and I'm scared of losing that, of her hating me.

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 13/04/2017 21:46

Why would she hate you for being unwell and seeking treatment?

hhorvath · 13/04/2017 21:47

I was IP voluntary for a month.

I had to share a female ward for sleeping and the rest was mixed. You could go to the TV room or your bed in the day and outside on the steps if you smoked (half hourly, with staff).

No baths unless you had permission, showers were OK.

I had to earn leave and it took a week so I was stuck inside for a week.

I told them I wanted to leave and they said if I tried to leave I'd be sectioned so I had no choice.

Some patients were very disturbed and some were just sad. Some very friendly. Sometimes I felt like an extra member of staff as nurses ignored us and we comforted each other or I helped others with their anxiety.

It was better than killing myself but I would only ever go back if there was nothing else to be done. In fact I recently refused hospital because I hated it so much.

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 21:49

Thanks justmyluck

OP posts:

UnbornMortificado · 13/04/2017 21:50

Have you talked to her about how your feeling and the possibility of hospital?

Like I said my DD's are younger, the oldest is 11 she knows about the illness and why I have gone into hospital. We are still really close, the illness isn't ideal and sometimes it's been hard for her but we do have a very close and loving relationship.

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 21:51

I asked to be admitted before a few years ago and they refused because they thought I'd quickly become institutionalised and never leave!

Going in scares me, not going in scares me!

OP posts:

LoveDeathPrizes · 13/04/2017 21:51

Please ask her friends parents. Anyone. The anxiety of her going to her dad or being alone will impede you getting better and you need to focus on that, for her.

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 21:52

Yes she knows how ill I am and we've been talking throughout we are always honest with each other. She knows I'm as bad as possible.

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 21:54

They thought you'd never leave . Did you offer you out patient treatment?

UnbornMortificado · 13/04/2017 21:57

I can't see her hating you when you have such a good relationship.

What do you think the outcome would be if you don't go in?

(Sorry you don't have to answer that obviously)

Do you know what hospital it will be?

getoffthesofa · 13/04/2017 21:58

I am so sorry that you are feeling so awful. Is there anywsy she or you could contact Shelter here: youngpeopleoutcomes.shelter.org.uk/advice_for_advisers_of_young_people/when_young_people_have_to_move_out/emergency_housing_options/emergency_housing_for_16_and_17_year_olds

Or NSPCC to look at support for your daughter. They may be able to put you in touch with the right service in your area?

I can hear in your posts how hard you are trying to sort you and her out. Sending you strength.

ImperialBlether · 13/04/2017 21:58

If I were your daughter's friend's parent I would really want to help in such a stressful situation. Your daughter sounds lovely and I'm sure she'd be a great guest. You know you'd do the same if one of her friends needed help. Please, ask the people you know would want to help - give them the chance to do something to help you.

I really hope all goes well for you.

Unescorted · 13/04/2017 22:00

My dh was hospitalised. It saved his life - twice.
At 16 your daughter could go into a Foyer if there she can't stay with friends or family. They are accommodation for 16 -21s who are homeless. As you are at risk of losing your home then she is eligible. They provide wraparound care so will support her in her studies. Places are scarce and they are usually run as a charity as there is no statutory care of homelessness duty for this age group. She is too old for childrens social care and not old enough for local authority homeless duty.
Your local housing authority will have details of Foyers in your area.

NolongerAnxiousCarer · 13/04/2017 22:04

Hi, you say that you and DD have to leave your home so I'm assuming thats what the homelessness in the title refers to. I don't know how it works for DD, but when DH became homeless whilst poorly his MH team helped him a lot. They have social workers in their teams so its worth asking their advice. DD may need a social worker of her own to talk through the options with you both. They will be able to help support her through this tricky time too.

Floggingmolly · 13/04/2017 22:11

Oh please just pick up the phone now, op, and ask for help from someone. You'll both feel far less stressed when you've got her sorted.

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 23:19

Been phoning all kinds of numbers either closed or overrun

OP posts:

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 23:25

Fuck! Daughter saying her friends have told her it would be a homeless hostel she'd end up in! These are kids in the know who are talking about friends/family members and the shelter site isn't making me feel any better to be honest.

OP posts:

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 23:25

Outpatient treatment has been hit and miss on quality, consistency, frequency, stability.

OP posts:

Bobbins43 · 13/04/2017 23:31

Purple persuasion is the right blog, OP

Please try and see if she can stay with a friend. I'm sure they'd be happy to have her and to help you both out

Minnie747 · 13/04/2017 23:49

Having mental health issues is not 'letting your daughter down'. Ignoring them could be, but accepting help and wanting to get better is definitely trying to do the best for her. Even a stranger can see that. X

Original poster

Vstressedtenant · 14/04/2017 00:34

You've all been so kind. I will not sleep tonight. Everything I care about (stuff wise) is in 4 bin bags and handbag. How pathetic is that?

I swore I wouldn't do this again yet here I am!

OP posts:

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