Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 ··· 21 22

Original poster

If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

535 replies

SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 04:43

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

OP posts:

ChampagneTastes · 03/04/2016 08:17

How are you feeling this morning Eliza? How is DD? Have you been to the GP yet and explained all your concerns? It is a beautiful day outside where I am. Perhaps you could all go out and get some air?

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:32

Im tired. Dd was awake until midnight screaming as usual then I had to express at 1am, she was up at 3am then I had to express at 4am and then she was up at 5.30am and then ds got up at 7.
Dh is helpfully still in bed asleep. I am trying to tidy round and do some more washing because I won't be able to do anything in a week or so. Dh helpfully didn't even bother to put his stuff in the dishwasher last night, everything is strewn around the kitchen.
Dd won't eat anything this morning. Isn't a cold usually the first sign of chicken pox in children?

OP posts:

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:33

Dh will take children to mil's as usual on a Sunday so I will be on my own mainly.

OP posts:

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:36

I will try and get gp app tomorrow but there's usually a two week wait at our surgery. Anyway I don't want to go in there. Where is likely to have a lot of germs? A dr's surgery.

OP posts:

guineapig1 · 03/04/2016 08:36

I think you need to wake your DH up immediately and get him to read this whole thread. Also call your parents and direct them to this thread. They will be able to appreciate the level of your anxiety and get you the appropriate help.

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:37

Fat chance of dh getting out of bed.

OP posts:

Fairylea · 03/04/2016 08:37

In the nicest possible way why on earth are you carrying on with breastfeeding / expressing when you feel so awful and exhausted? I had severe pnd after the birth of my dd and the only thing that saved my sanity was switching to formula feeding so that I could get a proper nights sleep with dh doing half the feeds. I went on a very high dose of anti depressants (so high they wouldn't even prescribe it now 12 years on) and literally it was the only thing that saved me completely losing my mind. I stopped taking then after a year and now I don't take anything at all and have a fantastic bond with my dd.

I know you won't see it because right now you are so in the middle of it but all of this is severe exhaustion and depression talking and you need to start looking after yourself.

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:37

He knows I've been up most of the night but doesn't care

OP posts:

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:38

I want to get something right for her.

OP posts:

Fairylea · 03/04/2016 08:38

Then you have a dh problem. Could you go and stay with your parents for a bit? You need someone to support you properly.

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:39

Not that ff is feeding is wrong...it's just I was so desperate for lots of things - like a natural birth with a term baby - and none of those things happened. Breastfeeding was something I was desperate to do and expressing is the next best thing

OP posts:

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:40

Dh will be in a mess if I die as he does nothing at all round the house and nothing with the children. Actually he won't be. He will simply move in with mil and she will take over where I've left off.

OP posts:

Fairylea · 03/04/2016 08:41

You sound so much like me. It's like seeing myself through a mirror. I had a horrendous birth, struggled breastfeeding, had pnd and a useless partner. 12 years on looking back how I fed her really isn't important. She doesn't care, it's made no difference. What was important was that I was well enough to care for her. I left her dad when she was 6 months old because he was as useful as a chocolate teapot. You need some proper sleep and some support.

guineapig1 · 03/04/2016 08:43

Please please wake him up and show him this thread. How local are your parents? Could you see them today? Do you have any siblings you could talk to?

GinAndColonic · 03/04/2016 08:45

I wish I was there so I could say to your face - when your husband takes the children to his mother's, you have to go to A&E.

Have to. At the moment you are teetering into the brink of madness. Believe us. If you fall, who knows how deep you will go or what you will do to your children. You say you won't, you say you're positive you won't do anything to hurt them - but you are falling into madness. Please believe me, if you get much worse you could be capable of anything.

The very best thing you can do for your children I'd to wake up their Dad, tell him you are going out for an emergency and then go to hospital.

Please. At some point when you are feeling well you will look back and see this as the defining moment of your happiness. When you chose to start getting better and start doing what is best for your family.

FusionChefGeoff · 03/04/2016 08:47

You are not thinking like a rational, well person.

You need to see a medical professional URGENTLY.

Can you count up through this thread how many people have said that?? They are all right - your anxiety is causing all of this.

GinAndColonic · 03/04/2016 08:48

Please, reach out for help. Send me or someone contact numbers for someone. Could you phone your midwife, or the unit your baby was in when she was born?

There must be someone you can call for help or someone you can ask to do it for you.

Please, for the sake of your daughter she is so young and precious she needs a happy Mummy

ChampagneTastes · 03/04/2016 08:52

Eliza - there is an AWFUL lot going around in your head at the moment. While your DH is at your MIL's I think you should call your HV and get them round to see you. Then show them this thread so that they can see all the things that are worrying you (it's not just chicken pox). You are overwhelmed and need help. If the HV comes to you, there's less likelihood of germs right? But you need to tell them that it is an emergency because it really really is.

You are clearly a loving mother who wants the best for her children. Outside help will ensure that you can get that.

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:52

I have sent a text to my perinatal health lady but I don't think she will reply until tomorrow. I can't see how it will help. She can't stop us getting chicken pox

OP posts:

Fairylea · 03/04/2016 08:53

What have you said in the text? Chicken pox isn't the issue here.

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 08:54

It will be if it kills us
I've just said that I'm feeling anxious again and need an appointment the week after next. I can't have one next week as ds will be here and it just won't work.

OP posts:

Ohb0llocks · 03/04/2016 08:56

If you want to get something right for her, make it her mother. She needs you more than she needs to be breastfed.

GinAndColonic · 03/04/2016 09:03

Well done for messaging her. I'm proud of you.

You are making active steps to getting better, that's a really good job and the best thing you can do for your daughter.

GinAndColonic · 03/04/2016 09:05

The best way to access help today would be to go to A&E, show them this thread.

Could you do that for her? That's the very best thing you could do for her today I promise.

Original poster

SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 09:06

I'm not going to a and e. There's usually a six hour wait. I don't need to go to a and e anyway. I'm not going to harm myself and definitely not my children.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 ··· 8 9 10 ··· 21 22