If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

[SweetElizaRose]

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

I suspect I would be better placed to deal with chicken pox if I wasn't operating on so little sleep but it's my choice to express as dh says so I can't really complain that I'm tired when it's my own stupid fault.

I don't care if it's a six hour wait.

It will be the best six hours you ever spend if it gets you help.

Take a magazine if you need to!

What else could you do today instead of A&E. Could you phone the local midwefery department maybe, ask them where to go for support?

You could phone the Pandas Helpline?

www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/how-we-can-help/pandas-help-line.html#.VwDQWJ_TXqA

I'm glad you've texted your perinatal lady.

Wrt chickenpox, you're looking 10 days to 2 weeks after contact for symptoms and can get immediate antivirals or there is a vzig shot for the first week after exposure but before spots. Either way, that makes it worth a trip to the gp for advice and please also tell them about your anxieties and fears at the same time

Morning Eliza, well done for sending the text. It's a move in the right direction. You must open up to someone in RL about how you are feeling and how convinced you are.
I'm sorry you feel your dh is not helping. Perhaps if you sit down and explain to him what you have said to us he will better understand. I know when I am feeling low I expect my dh to know without me telling him but they aren't mind readers and if you haven't told him the fears you have told us maybe he doesn't know?
If your worries get overwhelming I'm sure you wouldn't have to wait if you called 111 and got out of hours ? They would be able to listen to your worries and help you in some way
Lots of love to you. Sleep deprivation alone can make you feel awful. Please talk to someone in RL

Eliza whereabouts in the country are you? Maybe if we knew we could point you to the right local help. Please don't think you deserve to suffer like this; no one does xxxx

I'm nearly 100% that they won't give the vzig. They might if I'm lucky give antivirals. I will pay for either quite happily. Wonder if I can pay for the vzig?
I will try and get in ASAP but there is usually a long wait for non emergency appointments and the receptionist always asks why you need the appointment. If I say I'm worried about chicken pox exposure they won't give me an emergency appointment. You have to convince her you are dying in order to get an emergency appointment

You can absolutely tell the receptionist that it is an emergency and that you will discuss it only with a medical professional. Please take a print out of this thread with you and show it to the GP

Please go to A&E. And when you go, take a printout of this thread.

A lot of people - probably a lot more than those who've actually posted, I've been lurking since last night - think you are ill. Not with chicken pox, with severe anxiety. Really. (And that might mean btw that you score quite well on the depression scale - you are still alarmingly ill.) Your illness is doing a brilliant job of rationalising everything but the reality you're seeing isn't the true one. Please, please take a book and a sandwich and go to A&E.

You need to speak to your gp or ooh today about vzig if you want it. The good news is that if they dont prescribe it, its because you are not at risk of serious complications. Please also discuss your general anxieties and intrusive thoughts

It isn't rational to be so worried about chicken pox. But as someone who worries that every headache is a brain tumour, I can understand your thought process in some way. The difference is my thoughts aren't controlling my life.

I am very worried about you. You should have an out of hours number for your perinatal team - even if you call your local hospital and say you are under the perinatal team's care and you need urgent out of hours advice, they can advise you. Tell them about your obsessive thoughts about death / chicken pox and that you won't be leaving the house for a week.

If you do go to a&e it probably won't be a long wait Eliza, they will have dedicated MH professionals on call to come and see you, often you don't have to wait in the main waiting room either.

Your dh will have no idea what you're going through and its so easy to minimise it when you don't understand it. By showing him this thread, he will get more of an insight in to what is going on and be able to take some of burden off you.

Brilliant that you've texted your peri-natal nurse. You're so tired you may well forget some of the points you've made here so I echo showing someone this thread.

I already know they won't give it. I asked about it when I was pregnant and thought I'd into very brief contact with chicken pox. They grudgingly agreed but then it turned out it was another viral infection, not chicken pox. No way would they give it if not pregnant. I had to really push them when pregnant. I am highly doubtful they will give antivirals either as they are expensive.

You need to go to A&E because you sound a very sick woman, very mentally ill and nothing you are writing gives the impression you are ok.

I don't know if you are a risk to your children but that's not to say you won't be. Preparing a child for your death that will not happen sounds harmful to me.

Get help today!

Texting your perinatal lady is a step forward, while your husband is out with the childrenyou could ring NHS 24 and get an ooh appointment this isnt about Chicken pox everybody on this thread is so concerned for you and your family if you tell them what you told us they will see what we see putting off appointments isnt going to benefit you and your children.

If you don't want to go to A&E at least wake your oh up, show him this thread.

You have a lot of rationalisation why you should take the vsig or the antivirals so I think you should speak in depth with a doctor see if you could convince them he likelihood of you dying. Tell 111 that it's a private issue but you need to see a doctor today.

Op I've been where you are. Certain that the what I see as inevitable death is going to happen imminently. But it didn't.
And I know you'll say well I've been lucky so far but it hasn't happened hundreds of times. However much I panicked, the sickness, racing heart, blood running cold it made no odds to whether it happened or not. It just made me desperately unhappy.
Honestly I didn't want help either as I felt it wouldn't do much but it does. It takes time and often feels like it isn't working but it is! You have to persevere. You need CBT and you need medication. I saw the crisis team when I was at the point you are and I take sertraline, propranolol and diazepam but only that when needed. The thing you mustn't do is stop taking meds because you feel a bit better. It's that which is causing you to feel better. So don't just stop as so many of us do!
I've felt like I might as well kill myself to speed up the inevitable but it isn't inevitable. You NEED to stop looking up info on chicken pox it is not helping. However much it feels like it's preparing you it isn't. It's just making you more and more anxious. Being anxious isn't being prepared it's just being unhappy. Being comfortable and not worrying is not risky behaviour. Your anxiety is not helping you.
I know you don't believe me because when you are in the midst of it you can't understand why everyone isn't panicking as you are, because you are right and they are being foolish.
So you've decided there's a high percentage you are going to die. So there's a small percentage you won't? Focus on that. That tiny percentage even you know exists. You can't predict the future, you can't control everything around you as difficult as that is to accept.
When you start thinking about your worries do you have physical symptoms? Can you describe them? Do you do anything in response to your thoughts to help them calm at all or to check anything?
Please talk to people irl too.

Ha Gin, is that a sneaky way of trying to get me to see a GP and tell them what I'm worried about?!

OP - perhaps it would help to sort out your thoughts about chicken pox (1) you and the baby may not get it even if you gave had brief exposure to it (2) if you both get it, it's not pleasant but it doesn't last long (3) it is rare to be seriously ill with chicken pox (4) it's very rare to need hospital treatment

All my family have had chicken pox at different ages - it was two weeks of feeling under the weather but no one was really ill.

As others have suggested you need medical help - not relating to chicken pox but as to why you are feeling so anxious.

Obviously! But if you're so convinced it is true what have you to lose?

You have to believe that everyone telling you to seek urgent medical advice today has the health and wellbeing of you and your daughter very much in mind. You are one voice against many who is trying to hide from getting urgent assistance.

You are wearing your anxieties like a cloak to keep you cocooned from the world. We want a better life for you and your daughter it does not have to be that way.

Were you this anxious about stuff after you had your son or just with this baby

Just this baby.