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Original poster

If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

535 replies

SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 04:43

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 20:58

Mil has just rung to say she's come down with a vomiting bug. Jesus. Someone somewhere is out to get us. So now we are going to have a sickness bug - which is probably nearly as bad as pox for dd - followed by chicken pox.
Honestly. Never leaving the house again.

OP posts:
ChampagneTastes · 03/04/2016 21:05

Eliza. Is your DH home now?

GinAndColonic · 03/04/2016 21:10

Please phone a doctor tonight. Call 111.

Excited101 · 03/04/2016 21:27

You don't need any help with chicken pox, you need help with your mental health. Seriously. That's the only thing.

Try not to feed your anxiety by continuing to obsess over the chicken pox, please op try and recognise that it's your mental health that's the problem. Will you be talking to your doctor about your anxiety and mental health?

The doctor is not going to be able to help you if all you want to do is convince yourself that you are right, and that your baby will die, try and be open minded and listen to what they have to say- going 'armed with studies' is not going to help anyone. This is your anxiety talking. You are so desperate for someone to collude with you that the chicken pox is the danger because the thought that it's a mental health issue is so scary. It doesn't have to be scary because you can change it and get better but you must access the help and support you deserve.

I agree with Sadie, your mind is not processing things correctly at the moment, you need to get yourself some mental health help- as it is, it's a bigger danger to yourself and your children than chicken pox.

Flowers for you op, it's not easy.

allpheasantandcorrect · 03/04/2016 22:55

Oh OP, sounds like you are having such a scary time at the moment and need some support. Keeping it all to yourself will only make things harder, so talking on Mumsnet is a great step. It would be good to build on that by disclosing what you've said to someone you trust, like your DH, a friend or family member.

It also sounds like you could use some reassurance from a medical professional, who I encourage you to contact urgently.

You sound quiet anxious. That doesn't mean I'm saying that your worries are baseless or all in your head. It is possible to get anxious as a result of things that are genuine concerns. Sometimes anxiety becomes this snowball, picking up more and more momentum the more you think about a problem, until it races off and you can't control it any more. The best thing then is to shout for help so that someone can help you stop it, and you can breathe and get back on course.

Don't let it snowball. The situation can totally be dealt with if you access healthcare, consult them about the chicken pox, and your anxiety around it. Worrying endlessly at home won't improve things but you do have the power to effect change.

Footle · 03/04/2016 23:27

Pheasant , OP has already decided she's going to the GP tomorrow. Great decision.

SilverBirchWithout · 03/04/2016 23:30

One Step at a time SweetEliza

Solasum · 03/04/2016 23:50

Please talk to your DH.

VocationalGoat · 03/04/2016 23:57

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NFmama · 04/04/2016 00:05

Another hand hold here Eliza, the first step of getting help will be the hardest but it'll be so much easier once you have support in place. Keep that appointment with your GP. The health visitor might be a good port of call too if you have a good relationship with her

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 04/04/2016 05:18

Dd has to be one to have it and they won't give it to me whilst she's so small as there's a theoretical risk of me passing it to her as it is a live vaccine. I asked just after she was born. Seems ridiculous especially as now we are all going to get it anyway.
I've been lying awake and I'm sure my friend's dd sneezed a couple of times when she was next to us.
Dd is full of cold as well now, could this be the start of chicken pox or is four days too soon to exhibit any symptoms?
Im so anxious I don't know what to do with myself, I keep imagining her funeral. It's like it's real and already happened. Coming home to all her little things. She trusted me to protect her and look what I've done to her. Every time she smiles at me I feel awful, the person she trusts most has effectively put her in the firing line.

OP posts:
Miniminimus · 04/04/2016 06:49

Hi, you are doing a great job looking after your son and a tiny baby. The chicken pox worry is just that, a nameless worry, it probably won't happen and if it does, it is going to be just that, chicken pox (itchy and annoying!) and no more. But if you can keep your appointment with your doctor and let out a little of your deeper worries about how you are feeling, he or she will help and you will instantly feel lighter, even at the end of that appointment. You just have to reach out slightly. You don't have to rehearse a long speech - if you are worried about what to say, jot a few words on a post-it and hand it over. Tell them you haven't been able to take your anti-depressants.

There will be so much support he or she can offer that will help you carry on enjoying your children again and get back to feeling like yourself. That is the most practical step you can take to protect your children today. This anxiety is not part of you, or your fault or inevitable, it can be treated, like any physical condition and you can be smiling back at your lovely daughter again very soon.

I will be thinking about you all day and crossing my fingers that you can find the courage to say something to someone about how you are really feeling. xx

HoggleHoggle · 04/04/2016 07:04

Hi Eliza I haven't posted before but your thread has been in my mind all weekend.

You keep saying that you've failed your children but you have no idea what a wonderful job you're actually doing. From your posts it sounds as though you're under incredible stress, your anxiety aside. You say your dh isn't hands on with the dc, and actually you're about to be left alone for weeks. You're getting very little sleep as you're up pretty much every hour feeding or expressing. Your dh didn't want you to take the meds you were prescribed, so you haven't had any help medically. And am I right in thinking that after a traumatic birth with your dd you were left to spend Christmas alone?

If those points above come across negatively to your dh I apologise, and that's not the aim, but from your posts these are the difficulties I've taken away and I just felt compelled to say how brilliantly I think you are doing in those circumstances. It sounds very, very difficult.

In my understanding it would be too soon for CP to show itself after 4 days so I hope your dd just has a small cold which I am sure she will be absolutely free from in a few days.

I hope all goes well with the GP today and please remember that there are lots of people here who think you are doing very well. I'm sure speaking to someone professionally will start the ball rolling with the extra help you need.

GinAndColonic · 04/04/2016 08:16

Right, it's now Monday morning, a great time to pick up your phone and call your doctors surgery

"Hi, I'd like to book an emergency appointment please. This morning. It's very important that I see a doctor right away, I'm a new Mum. I don't want to talk about it I want to talk to a doctor."

Go on, as soon as you read this message phone them up.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 04/04/2016 08:19

I'm in at 11.

OP posts:
FarrowandBallAche · 04/04/2016 08:20

Yes what Gin suggested you say to the receptionist is perfect. You don't have to elaborate.

Thinking of you.

FarrowandBallAche · 04/04/2016 08:20

Sorry X post.

That's excellent news Eliza. Well done.

Miniminimus · 04/04/2016 08:40

Keeping everything crossed for you!

Frazzled2207 · 04/04/2016 08:56

Great stuff. Please be honest with the go just show them this thread if you think you might have trouble articulating your fears.

Chilver · 04/04/2016 09:10

Well done OP making the appointment. I realise you must be scared but at least now you can continue being a great mother and share everything you've shared here with the GP. They can then take all of the facts into consideration. Good luck!

ChampagneTastes · 04/04/2016 09:15

Well done Eliza. Please do make sure you tell them everything you have told us. You have taken the first step to getting yourself well and protecting your DD.

Looly71 · 04/04/2016 09:22

Well done sweetelizarose. Pease be honest with the doctor about all of your feelings. Don't let them rush you, make sure you get everything off your chest. Good luck lovely, we're all with you Flowers

Sgoinneal · 04/04/2016 09:24

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Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 04/04/2016 09:28

I will...I'm more concerned about the pox really!

OP posts:
Sgoinneal · 04/04/2016 09:35

This reply has been deleted

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