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Original poster

If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

535 replies

SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 04:43

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 11:04

And dd is so cheery and trusting. She has no idea her mother has infected her with fucking chicken pox and now she's going to feel unwell again.

OP posts:
ButtonLoon · 03/04/2016 11:07

Sweetie, I've been following along and I want to say I'm really glad that you are still talking to us.

Your depression/anxiety is telling you things will never get better, but they can, you just have to reach out and ask for help. Flowers

GinAndColonic · 03/04/2016 11:17

What your daughter needs more than anything is for her mother to see a doctor. It's awful when they are not well. But their mother being unwell can give them issues for a long time.

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 11:17

This will be us.

OP posts:
Lightbulbon · 03/04/2016 11:18

OP people who are having a psychotic episode don't realise they are having a psychotic episode.

You are severely mentally ill and need urgent medical attention.

This is harming your children.

Go to A&E.

ChampagneTastes · 03/04/2016 11:19

Only if you don't go and talk to a gp right now. You have control over this situation.

GinAndColonic · 03/04/2016 11:30

Yes you have control. Go to A&E or phone 111 right now

guineapig1 · 03/04/2016 11:31

The ooh gp would be glad to see you today and very sympathetic. He or she will be able to give you proper informed advice both on your chicken pox concerns and more generally regarding your anxiety and mental health. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Think about it, if you had a physical medical emergency today like a broken wrist you would seek advice. This is no different.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 11:33

They won't be able to do anything though will they? Last time we went when ds had group the doctor had to google the symptoms!!! This doesn't give me much faith in the ooh service by me.
I'm going to contact my GP tomorrow.

OP posts:
ChampagneTastes · 03/04/2016 11:36

You are not a doctor. When a doctor googles symptoms they know what to look for - you don't. Plus you will probably get someone different. Stop putting it off. Do it today.

motherinferior · 03/04/2016 11:38

I doubt if the doc was actually googling the symptoms - more looking them up on their medical database. But please go for you. You are not well.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 11:43

I will go now but will come back and update when dd is really ill / died. I will try and get a GP appointment for antivirals for me. They won't give them to dd though. Even if she doesn't actually die I think her being back in hospital and seriously ill might be enough to tip me over the edge.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 03/04/2016 11:43

Gps dont google lovey they referance medical information in the olden days my gp would use books instead

ChampagneTastes · 03/04/2016 11:50

Are you going to the gp now? Is that what you mean? Please ensure you show them this. It is your best chance to help your dd. Xxx

AugustaFinkNottle · 03/04/2016 11:51

Eliza, you searched all of MN and only found one thread from 5 years ago concerning a child who had quite nasty symptoms with CP, and even that child didn't even have to be hospitalised. There are millions of people on MN. Doesn't that tell you something about how tiny the possibility of problems really is?

Excited101 · 03/04/2016 11:52

Can you accept that you're not thinking straight op? Nothing has 'happened' (to you), your children will be fine once you get help for your mental health. That is the ONLY thing wrong at the moment, and you have the ability to help yourself and them.

Ask yourself, what would you say to a friend in your position, work on the shred of doubt telling you that what you're feeling and thinking isn't rational or normal and get some professional help. Don't your children deserve a Mother who is healthy? If you can't at this stage do it for yourself, then do it for them.

You CAN feel better, you DESERVE to feel better and if you seek help then you WILL get better. But you need to make it happen. The feelings you've got of dread and negativity and self loathing aren't normal.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 03/04/2016 12:01

There are loads of threads about bad chicken pox, including ones where babies have been very ill when their mother hasn't had chicken pox and so had given no immunity. In cases where the mother has had it the baby usually only gets a mild dose. So there you go. My decision to meet my friend and the fact I've never had chicken pox has probably killed my daughter or at the least meant that she will have to go back into hospital for more horrible things which will make her cry like happened when she was born.

OP posts:
ChampagneTastes · 03/04/2016 12:03

Unless you go and get help NOW. I say again, you have control.

ForeverLivingMyArse · 03/04/2016 12:10

You sound so worried, you clearly love your dd so much and the thought of her being unwell really upsets you. Can you take her to ooh just now?

foragogo · 03/04/2016 12:10

I thought I'd killed my baby with toxoplasmosis band Listeria and he's 11 now. He actually nearly died at birth, ironically, after a healthy pregnancy. He had to be resuscitated and didn't breath for a long time so I then had something real tonworry about, possibility of brain damage. Hes just passed all his 11+ exams with flying colours and got into a selective secondary school. the worry never goes away but these tinyvfragule babies can be a lot stronger and more resilient than we give them credit for. you have to get some help to learn to live with the constant worry and anxiety we have for our babies, especially if they have a thought start, or it will make your life hell.

Excited101 · 03/04/2016 12:11

I understand that you think it's the chicken pox that's the problem but can you honestly say that if this wasn't in the picture that you'd be completely fine, happy, positive and healthy op?

Can you not see what we can- that if it wasn't the chicken pox it'd be something else?

You have a desire for control that is too strong, as a result of mental health issues. It is not helping you or your children. You need to get professional help to feel better, like with any illness. You all deserve to feel happy and no one is ever stupid for wanting to feel better.

It is not fate, you don't deserve it and haven't had it coming. You can take control of your own feelings by getting some medical help. You will start to feel better by doing this.

Looly71 · 03/04/2016 12:11

Pls tell someone which area you are in so perhaps someone on here can pm you

foragogo · 03/04/2016 12:12

rough start

HalfpintPixie · 03/04/2016 13:00

Eliza how long will the kids be at your mil's for?
You sound like an amazing mother, your children are lucky to have you. You seem to love them and care so much.

But I've been in your shoes, and the worry you feel will only seem to keep spiralling out of your control unless you grab hold of it and try to fix it yourself, by speaking to a professional immediately.

If nothing else, would it not be easier to deal with chicken pox and care for your dd if you knew for certain that your anxiety had been checked on by a doctor?