My heart is broken

[Wibhay]

I just had to have my beloved cat Rita pts. Part of my heart has just died with her.

Cross-posted.

Hi WibHay I wasn't on the internet much yesterday so I've only just read your post. I am so sorry to hear about Rita, such a beautiful girl, but you did the right thing for her, even though it hurts so much. I can't count the number of times I said "it's not fair" and it's not, we love our furbabies soo much and they love us back, we do everything we can to make them better and to make their lives better.
You know that I had to have my precious old boy PTS just over a week ago and it is really really hard both the decision and the heartache afterwards but they deserve to have their pain taken away it's the last gift we can give them. I know you are feeling bereft at the moment but please try to eat a little and get some rest. Rita has no more pain now and is at rest, you did your best for her, now you need to be kind to yourself x

Wibhay I have been thinking about you all day. How are you feeling? Sending you lots of love

Yes. How are you ?

Me too. Come back and let us know.

Hope your ok, have been thinking about you. Over the last few years have had to have several precious pets put to sleep, but 5 years ago had to have my favourite dog in the world put to sleep due to cancer. I didn't think I would ever recover, I cried for weeks couldn't eat or drink and really just wanted to be with her. But over time things did get easier, I still think of her and occasionally have a cry but on the whole remember the happy times, you will too, be nice to yourself and give it time. You are in my thoughts. X

Thank you everyone for your kind messages. I've realized that it wasn't a part of my heart that died when Rita went but it was me as a person who died. I have no interest in anyone or anything anymore. All that's left is my body and it's organs. I just want to be with Rita now

please make an appointment to see your dr. he can't make the pain go away but s/he may have something that can help you sleep and stop you from.feeling any worse.

Rita wouldn't want this for you. you have so much love and kindness to give. remember the shelter you were thinking of donating some time to. x

promise me you will see someone. do you have any friends who cab come and stay with you for a day or two

I must have been in denial or something thinking for one minute that I could go and work in a cat shelter. I have no love or feelings left. I've listed everything cat related on eBay even a nice furry bag I had brought myself a month ago as I have no interest anymore. Going to my dr will make no difference as there is no magic pill or cure to heal a broken heart or replace my soul

No they can't heal a broken heart. but they can help you sleep and try and stop you from feeling any worse.

I'm really worried about you selling all her stuff. don't you want to hold onto a blanket or just something to remind you of her. her collar or her bowl or blanket etc. you might regret it when it hits you that you got rid of it all too soon.

is there anyone you can go and stay with just so you have some company. x

My mum threw her litter tray and bowl away. I went through the bins to get her bowl out as I wanted it. We buried her in her crinkle bag and she didn't have a collar as she only had 3 legs and we always accompanied her in the garden.
Even when I am asleep I still have nightmares and no dr can change that. I've just accepted now that I will never be the person, I feel like the Tin man, I don't have a heart anymore

And to be honest I don't have anyone I can go to and even if I did I don't really want any company. I'm quite happy to just live what pathetic life I have left on my own

have you got yourself a picture of her to put by your bed.

I have my cats ashes I still look at them often and think of her.

would it help to write it down. maybe in some letters to Rita or a diary or something.

And your life is not pathetic. you have had a huge shock and a huge loss and things often feel way worse than they are at times like this. but there is another side. and it's a long huge walk through mud and thorns getting there but you do make it eventually.

and Rita will always he with you. in.your head in your heart. no one can take those memories from you. I promise you it will get better.

I still have a cat shaped hole in my life. made worse by the fact I doubt I'll ever be able to fill it again . but you can't give up. they wouldn't want that for us.

be the person she helped you to be. shed want you to be happy again.

you can get through this ok. just don't expect too much of yourself too soon.

You do have a heart Wibhay it's just a bit broken at the moment. Please take time to let it heal then you'll be able to remember Rita without so much pain. She was your furbaby and you loved her as one of the most important parts of your family - it's only natural you feel as you do.
We are all here for you and I'm sending you some cyber {{{HUGS}}} x

So sorry you feel this way.

But believe me, time does heal.

It doesn't mean you forget, it just means that the pain becomes absorbed until you are able to cope with it on a day to day basis.

And in all honesty the best thing you can do is get another animal to care for.

Thanks Bear, I couldn't get another animal as there is no way that I could feel like this ever ever again. I also feel like I've lost that caring side now. Before I'd see a cat in the street and I'd make a point of crossing to road to go and stroke it and speak to it. There was a cat near my work and I'd always go and spend 10 minutes with it. Now I can't be bothered I feel nothing there

You're emotionally battered and bruised by the loss. It's to be expected.

I realise it sounds trite, but it is true that as time passes you will feel better. It doesn't mean Rita's loss is diminished, just you are better able to cope with it.

The first few days are always the worst, you are emotionally battered and bruised and having to create a new normal for yourself.

Life isn't over, just different.

I can't stop having these flashbacks of seeing her that morning and then taking her to the vets. I feel physically sick and am scared to go to sleep because when I wake up I'm sad that it's really happened. I just want to be with my baby girl and look after her. Without her I'm nothing

These feelings will not be so severe in a few weeks' time OP. Be kind to yourself.

Wib
When I lost my treasured boy to cancer I was feeling exactly the same feelings. That boy was my world. My sister took me to an animal shelter the day after and despite my saying there was no way on earth I was EVER getting another cat and being really bloody angry with her, I came home with two. I cannot even begin to tell you the positive impact they had on me in the days after I lost my boy. I was still reeling from his death but those two weenies helped heal me. I found that yes, I DID have the capacity to love another furry. Yes I was still grieving but those two helped me so much. I am not saying that you should run out now and find another but don't close your mind to another cat who you can love and cherish as much as you did Rita

3 years ago I had to have my 19 year old cat put to sleep. I'd had her since she was 8 weeks old when we collected her from a rescue centre. She was my number one baby (the DT's were born a couple of years later and we had a family joke that the cat was my favorite baby! ) Unfortunately she injured her leg and together with old age she never really recovered and we made the hardest decision possible and took her to the vets. They knew her well and were lovely with us. The house is full of photos of her and we still have her ashes at home. Thankfully we already had another cat who is now 16 and as the DT's are in their first year of Uni, she is totally spoilt by DH and I. There have been plenty of tears over our first cat but I don't ever reject having her in our lives or the decision we made to have her put to sleep.

It's too soon for you yet but I do recommend you visiting a rescue centre and offering a home to a cat who needs a loving home.

Wib I do know how you feel. I had my mare pts a year last October. It was truly the most horrific thing I have ever had to do or experience. Not only having to make the decision, and hold her whilst the vet injected her, but that she hit the ground like a fucking tonne of bricks. It left me deeply traumatised and trust me, I doubt I will ever own another horse.

But for my cat, who I could hold in my arms as the deed was done, it really was the last act of love and kindness that I could do for her. If my DD was not allergic to cats I would have an armful tomorrow.

I still cry every day about my mare (and the one before that). I am crying now. I still involve myself with horses, I just know I couldn't go through that physical experience again.

Please, please, please take care of yourself. Come to terms with it. Then give another fluffy creature a home. They need people like you.

Win, any loss is painful but you have to remember to breathe and look after yourself.

The way I see it is any pets that you own after the first one are a tribute to the loving relationship you had.
They don't replace, and lets face it, every cat is different. I have 5 and each has their own individual, unique personality and funny little ways, as has every other beloved cat I have owned.

I never intended to have a cat, we were dog people - our first one was a stray who chose us.
When he died DH and I were bereft, for me it was the first time I had lost a pet. We always said no other cat could match him, and it's true - no other cat has been the sam but we have loved them all more than you can imagine.

My Aunt who has always had cats and dogs said that by giving another animal in need a home we were honouring the memory of the first beloved cat.