Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

My heart is broken

169 replies

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 12:22

I just had to have my beloved cat Rita pts. Part of my heart has just died with her.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

picklesanne · 28/12/2015 17:13

She was so lucky to have you, thinking of you at this sad time.

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2015 17:14

I don't think you are pathetic at all.

I have never cried at a funeral yet when my cat had to be PTS I cried my eyes out. I loved her so much. I still have her ashes sitting on my shelf.

take tomorrow off. cry eat chocolate, watch shit on tv, sleep and get some rest.

so very very sorry

Mincepies76 · 28/12/2015 17:14

Of course you aren't pathetic. Lots of people don't get it but pets are part of the family. Losing a pet is painful and the grief we feel is real.
I am only coping because we got a kitten straight away. I couldn't bear the void. I needed another cat to love and care for. I hope I will have years with him!
You will cope, but don't give yourself a hard time. You feel what you feel, make no apologies X

MsMims · 28/12/2015 17:16

You aren't pathetic Wib

They are such a huge part of our lives and when they go, the grief is terrible. The loss of my last cat made me so ill I ended up needing some medication from the GP to calm me down and help me sleep, so no judgement here about how hard it can be

I don't know if it's your sort of thing, but I also found a book called 'soul comfort for cat lovers' helpful with dealing with the grief.

In two days, it's a whole year since my lovely cat had to be PTS and I still miss her every day. I don't think I'll ever feel I've 'got over it' but you learn to live alongside the pain. I'm also now able to remember her with a smile as well as with tears.

Losing them is so painful, but the alternative is to never have experienced them at all, which to me feels more unbearable. I'm sure you gave Rita a brilliant life full of love. Take care of yourself.

MissHooliesCardigan · 28/12/2015 17:20

Wibhay I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my first cat when I was 16 and honestly thought I would never get over it - but you do. In time, you will have happy memories without the raw pain. You gave her a great life. Look after yourself

LaurieFairyCake · 28/12/2015 17:22

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this

Did the vet figure out what the issue was? I'm just sending you so many {{{{hugs}}} as its so devastating when they die.

She was so beautiful, what a lovely face.

cozietoesie · 28/12/2015 17:29

You're not pathetic. It's very hard losing someone.

Original poster

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 17:35

Thank you everyone for your kind messages. I have broken down and just feel like I want to give up. I'm so scared of her being all alone now in the garden where we buried her. I just hope the little lantern will offer her some light.
None of my friends understand apart from a couple of people so it's nice to know there are people who care out there.
I can't understand why life is so cruel, I wish there was a way we could still speak to our pets after they had gone. I keep expecting her to walk in the room. I feel so low I can't explain. I was upset when my grandad died but the pain was never this strong, I just feel that my world is shattered along with my heart

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 28/12/2015 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 18:17

I think I will offer some of my free time to the cats protection as a volunteer. I couldn't possibly get another cat as I couldn't go through the heartache again but if I pass on my skills and time to help other cats in need I think that would make Rita happy.

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2015 18:22

That sounds a lovely idea

RoosterCogburn · 28/12/2015 18:24

That's a lovely idea, there are so many cats in need. I'm sure that you would be much appreciated.

cozietoesie · 28/12/2015 18:25

That sounds like something she would have liked.

For myself, I no longer even question whether I shall find another cat friend when one dies - I have plenty more love to give out and I know I shall. It's usually just questions of who and when.

SheSellsSanctuary · 28/12/2015 18:27

I'm so sorry for your loss. I echo the poster who says that a beloved pet is a real part of the family. Please be kind to yourself.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 28/12/2015 18:28

I'm so sorry Wibhay. You're definitely not pathetic, I know I will be exactly the same when something happens to H. Take tomorrow off if you can and be kind to yourself. You gave her a good life and gave her the ultimate kindness.

Original poster

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 18:28

If I could control my emotions I would take all the cats in I could that needed a home
But my heart is just not strong enough. I'm good on a computer and organising things so I'll just try and channel my energy towards that.

OP posts:

Original poster

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 18:30

Even with her 3 legs she would still want to go out in the snow so my dad would clear her a little pathway

OP posts:

RoosterCogburn · 28/12/2015 18:35

We're like you Cosie, whenever there is a cat-sized hole created in our lives we re-home another one.
They are never a replacement because the are all so very different. I don't even choose anymore, I ring my local rescue, describe our current situation and ask for the cat who has been with them the longest who would fit into our home.
We've never been disappointed!

Wibhay, what a beautiful cat she was.

imjustahead · 28/12/2015 18:37

Wib,

I know how much it hurts, it hurts terribly. I had to have my cat pts on the 15th Dec, he was just 4, and my third cat to die one after the other.

I fell apart, i wondered how life could again be so cruel, and the pain was very bad.
Like you i didn't know how I could carry on, and i was scared at the grief.

My cat loving 'friend', i want you to know i care, and i understand your state of mind right now. It's normal, just try to remember that. You have lost your friend.
As owners we have to make the decision, and it hurts to bare that decision, but it is the greatest love we can show our cats or any pet.

It's not fucking fair no.
I am two weeks on, and it hurts yes, but it's dampened, and it will be like that for you too. xxxx

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 28/12/2015 18:38

She was gorgeous. It seems as though they are with us for such a short time but they give us so much.

You may find that, in time, one of the cats you help steals your heart. When I lived at home my Mum always used to say no more pets but, after a period of time, we'd end up going to the RSPCA (the nearest rescue at the time) to adopt another poor unwanted soul.

Original poster

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 18:39

Rooster your post just made me cry. That is such a nice thing to do. It's so so caring to say the one who has been there the longest. What a kind thing xxxxx

OP posts:

Original poster

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 18:41

And thank you pinksparkly for saying she was gorgeous.
Imjustahead - I am so so sorry for your loss. And your right it's not fucking fair

OP posts:

imjustahead · 28/12/2015 18:50

the cat shaped hole has been filled three times in this house in 7 yrs :(. I don't think i can do it again, my dd suffers too.

I feel cursed, but know that's silly.

OP, go easy on yourself, and take it day by day. xx

RoosterCogburn · 28/12/2015 18:52

Ahhh, sorry Wibhay - didn't mean to make you cry.

My heart always goes out to the unwanted long-stay animals.

A few of years ago we rescued a brother and sister who had been in rescue for 18 months, because they were chronically shy whenever potential owners came in they hid so no one took them.

Watching them blossom and become confident was a privilege, when I watched them playing in the garden I would remember their scared little faces, hiding in a box and I would swell with happiness.
Sadly, one of them died but we still have the boy and he is gorgeous, and a happy reminder that we gave them a lovely new life.

Any excuse for a gratuitous photo - here he is surveying the world from the top of the shed.

Original poster

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 18:54

Rooster he is so gorgeous and it made me cry happy tears. I'm so glad you take the ones who have been there the longest. It is certainly worth the wait for them as they get to go home with you xxx

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7