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My heart is broken

169 replies

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 12:22

I just had to have my beloved cat Rita pts. Part of my heart has just died with her.

My heart is broken
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AnneElliott · 28/12/2015 20:16

You're definitely not pathetic. I have 4 cats and haven't had to say goodbye to any yet, but I know I will have to one day.

I love them so much I don't know how I'll bear it. I think though I would comfort myself with the fact that they had a very happy life and I'm sure your beautiful Rita did.

Take care xx

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 20:37

Thanks Anne for your message.
Every hour that goes by is getting harder and harder. Everything reminds me of her. I just can't bare this pain in my heart.
With humans you can talk to them and they talk back. You can say goodbye and explain things. My Rita didn't know as it kills me. I am glad though that I am the one suffering the pain and she isn't. I just wish I could have suffered this pain the rest of my life but her still be here now.
I'm dreading going to bed,
I'm dreading everything. I've tried to talk myself into positive things but I think it's just me trying to be in denial
I'm sorry

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Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2015 20:44

would it help to talk about her? how she came to live with you and all her habits and rituals etc the time she stole your best friends tuna sandwich or whatever.

I'd love to hear some Rita stories.

x

I understand if you can't. so please don't if it's too painful. but sometimes.it can help to share stories

MsMims · 28/12/2015 20:44

Wib be kind to yourself. Rita knew that she was loved dearly by you, and that's all she needed to know. Animals live in the present moment, and like you say, you can't explain things but as long as they are pain free and feel loved that's all that matters to them.

This is all so very recent, it's no wonder you're struggling. Allow yourself to go with the grief rather fight it, it's better long term than bottling it up. I will keep checking the thread this evening if you'd like someone to chat to. Sending hugs.

cozietoesie · 28/12/2015 20:53

There will likely be people here quite late tonight (people post here from all around the world so may be up and doing when others have crashed) so don't fear being alone tonight. We'll be here.

rainydaygrey · 28/12/2015 20:53

What a cutie.

Please, give yourself lots and lots of time to deal with this. You have lost someone very, very dear to you.

It will get harder, and easier, and possibly harder again.

The last pet I lost was almost 3 years ago now and while I still miss him, the pain has mostly gone and I feel love and a, well a sort of sweet sadness really, when I think of him.

We had another cat at the time and this summer we got a new kitten.

He is very different to the cat I had PTS he is a little bugger and we all love him dearly. One day we are sure to suffer the pain of losing him too. It's the price we pay for love.

You must, someday, get another cat. It's a lovely way to honour a pet, as there are so many animals in desperate need of loving homes.

But that's for later. Right now you have to experience your grief I'm afraid. I'm so very sorry. Would it help to tell us a bit about Rita? Where did she come from? Why did she have 3 legs? Did she leave black hair all over everything? Wink

Flowers
Wibhay · 28/12/2015 20:56

Giles I'd love to share some stories if you don't mind.
Well I first met Rita in 2002 whilst I worked at a leisure center she used to just stroll in and plonk herself on the desk in the office and go to sleep. The leisure center was on a residential street and her owners lived a few doors down.
Her owners then just moved to Australia and left her there. I used to turn up for work at 6am in the morning and she would be soaked through waiting by the door so I'd pick her up and then dry her under the hairdryer and give her some food.
She was so loved at the leisure center from then on customers would bring her food and she would place herself on the counter so she got all the attention.
I used to then take her home with me everyday when I finished work so she had somewhere warm to stay. She would sit in her little carry case in my car happy as Larry. And every Sunday morning we would go for a McDonald's drive through before work :) xxxxxxxx

My heart is broken
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rainydaygrey · 28/12/2015 20:59

Oh, dear OP, try not to think about her being 'alone' in the garden. IMO she isn't really 'there' IYSWIM, that's just her body. She doesn't need it any more. I don't know where she is, I don't have the answer to that one, but she's not in her body now.

That's how I see it and to me it's a comforting thought. I hope it is to you as well, but if not please just ignore me! Flowers

rainydaygrey · 28/12/2015 21:00

Look at that cheeky madam!

EddieVeddersfoxymop · 28/12/2015 21:01

We lost our lovely puss in October, and I thought that I would die at how much it hurt. My heart felt literally split in two, I felt utterly bereft. Wed had her for 14 years, and we tried so hard to save her but her bone marrow failed and there was nothing we could do. We had to let her go. I howled at the vets when they put her to sleep, the moment she went was awful but I knew I needed to be with her. Unfortunately, she was out to sleep on a Saturday, so she had to be left at the vets until Monday, when the crematorium could receive her. It broke my heart thinking of her alone and cold at the vets, and again when we left her at the crematorium. I didn't let the crematorium collect and drop her off......I needed to take her on her final journeys no matter what.

It's now two months since we lost her, and I still cry buckets over her pictures and memories. However, the day to day rawness does ease. My remaining cat has been seriously ill too, which hasn't helped (she's doing ok though). What did help was donating to a shelter in memory of our lost girl, and deciding as a family that we will get another cat once our remaining girl is gone too. But a new cat will be another rescue, someone who might have waited a while or have an illness that puts people off. Our lost puss was a rescue, and we think it would make her happy to share our home and love with a needy soul.

We also made some scrapbooks, and framed our favourite pictures to hang in her favourite place to sit in the hall. Her casket sits in our lounge, with her collar on top and a little clay model of her sat beside. Gone but never forgotten.

It hurts like hell now op, you need to be kind to yourself and have a think of how best to remember your lovely puss.

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:01

She was a cheeky madam xx

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Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2015 21:02

a cat at a drive through Grin now that would have been a sight!!!

she sounds as if she was spoilt rotten. customers and staff all feeding and petting her.

I bet little did she knew the day she walked though those doors how her life would change and she would meet her best friend.

the cheeky minx though Grin

I can see that face being able to win you all round. what a happy cat she must have been x

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:09

She used to plonk herself in the poppy box in November even though the box was too small for her and was full of pins she didn't care.
I only ever knew her with 3 legs as she was apparently run over as a kitten.
I certainly did get a few funny looks when I went in the drive through :)
And some days I'd finish else and she wouldn't be in sight she was probably off hunting or something so I'd then have to wait until she decided to stroll back into the leak her center and they would call me and I'd come and pick her up. It was like having a naught teenager :) xxxx

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Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2015 21:10

I have to ask. what was her order? fillet o fish or a McFurry?

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:10

Sorry it should say "some days is finish work"

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Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:11

Ha ha I never ordered her anything it was for me and my work colleagues but I was tempted to say "oh and a fillet of fish for the cat"

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Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:11

Oh just read mcfurry ha ha very good

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cozietoesie · 28/12/2015 21:13

I was going to comment on her one amazingly long whisker and then I realised that it was a hair from Seniorboy (just recently groomed) which had drifted into the screen and positioned itself so that it looked just like a continuation of hers. Grin

She was a honey. Smile

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2015 21:14

sorry but I nearly lost a mouthful of wine at the image of a rather squashed poppy box and a load if flower pins stuck on her back side. bet she did the tongue sticking out thing too? just to make extra sure you couldn't be mad at her?

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:15

Aw cozietosie that is really cute :)

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Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:16

Yup we were never able to sell many poppies because the cat would be sitting there. I have a photo of it I'll try look it up and post it X

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Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2015 21:18

would love to see it!!

I'd have love to see your bosses face too when you had to give the squashed hairy box of bent poppies back Wink

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:21

Oh I know. I was dreading the day someone brought one when she wasn't in there and they were allergic to cats oooops!!

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Gileswithachainsaw · 28/12/2015 21:23

Probably would thought they'd gone mad getting "hayfever" from a fake flower Grin

my cat was also black. no hiding those hairs!!

Wibhay · 28/12/2015 21:23

Sorry to bore everyone with photos but I didn't show her off enough when she was with us. This is her with her Christmas presents last year

My heart is broken
My heart is broken
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