We lost our lovely puss in October, and I thought that I would die at how much it hurt. My heart felt literally split in two, I felt utterly bereft. Wed had her for 14 years, and we tried so hard to save her but her bone marrow failed and there was nothing we could do. We had to let her go. I howled at the vets when they put her to sleep, the moment she went was awful but I knew I needed to be with her. Unfortunately, she was out to sleep on a Saturday, so she had to be left at the vets until Monday, when the crematorium could receive her. It broke my heart thinking of her alone and cold at the vets, and again when we left her at the crematorium. I didn't let the crematorium collect and drop her off......I needed to take her on her final journeys no matter what.
It's now two months since we lost her, and I still cry buckets over her pictures and memories. However, the day to day rawness does ease. My remaining cat has been seriously ill too, which hasn't helped (she's doing ok though). What did help was donating to a shelter in memory of our lost girl, and deciding as a family that we will get another cat once our remaining girl is gone too. But a new cat will be another rescue, someone who might have waited a while or have an illness that puts people off. Our lost puss was a rescue, and we think it would make her happy to share our home and love with a needy soul.
We also made some scrapbooks, and framed our favourite pictures to hang in her favourite place to sit in the hall. Her casket sits in our lounge, with her collar on top and a little clay model of her sat beside. Gone but never forgotten.
It hurts like hell now op, you need to be kind to yourself and have a think of how best to remember your lovely puss.