help

[dottymum]

Ive a 3 week old son, a four year old daughter, my husband left a couple of weeks ago.

The baby is lovely, I adore him. My four year old's behaviour is terrible. I got up to see to ds, dd woke up, screamed hystericallym demanded i went back to bed immediately. She is over demandingm jealous of the baby to an extreme.
to be honest i really dislike her at the moment. daddy doesnt want her ad she is begging to see him. he wont see her. I get the crap for it,

I feel like i want her to go live somewhere else. i really really dislike her. I know she had a lot of upset, it isnt her fault, its me. Im horrible.

What am I going to do, I love my childreb, i dont want to feel like this. I dont feel depressed as such, but Im not myself at all

Perhaps its better for them both if i gve hem up and go away

Have only just found this thread and would like to help, having just come out of a depressed phase and also having had a mum who had a breakdown when I was a child. Where does Dotty live, I'm down south and wouldn't think twice about helping out.

Glassofwine - she's in Dagenham.

DOTTY - good morning - hope you had a good sleep, check in and let us know how you are.
xxxxx

Hi Dotty

Hope you got some sleep. Thinking of you today. Are you going to get baby ds his passport?

Sending strength to you.

xxxx

Good morning Dotty! Hope you had a good night.

Hi Dotty, We're all rooting for you. Hope you are feling a bit better today. xxxxxxxxx

back now dotty.......hope you are doing a bit better.....if you can..jsut a quick post , so we know you are still seeing all the support..we are all here for you xx

Hi Dotty, Hope you are feeling ok. Still thinking about you 'love'.
Ive been to work this morning but posted as soon as I came home.

Got to nip into town this afternoon, so Im hoping you post to let us all know how you are progressing. Will be checking as soon as Im home.

((((big hugs for you & 'MWA' for DD/DS)))))

Dotty, hope you had a good rest, we are all rooting for you. Remembered I had this and thought of you...

When things go wrong as they sometimes will.
When the road you?re trudging seems all up hill.
When funds are low and the debts are high.
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit.
Rest, if you must, but don?t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about.
When he might have won had he stuck it out:
Don?t give up though the pace seems slow ?
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out ?
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems so far:
So stick to the fight when you?re hardest hit ?
It?s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Take care xx

noonoo, thats lovely

Where did u find that?

Dotty, you're sounding better with every post - i'm so glad!
Bless you for hanging on in there and trying.

Hope you feel a wee bit more positive again tomorrow.

all my love xx
hugs to you and kids xx

My mum gave it to me years ago, on a little card from the Church. I used to have it on a printout on my wall at work and have seen quite a few people with it,

Naughtynoonoo - it's really nice. Just checking in for today - hope you're having a good day Dottymum - thinking of you
x

bump

Hope you had a successful day todya with getting a passport for baby.
xxx

hi dotty...how was your day , sweetheart....?

hope you are doing ok ......check in if you get a chance.......((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

we're all thinking about you and your darling babies...xx

Hi Dotty. Sorry for being late in catching up with you today. That doesn't mean I haven't thought about you many times.

I hope today has been a better one for you and you are having success with your plans.
If you get a minute, pop on to let us know you are ok.xx

Darling Dotty

Just laid my darling baby down to sleep for the evening and was thinking about you out there holding your boy and tucking your girl in for the night.

They are such lucky little poppets to have you as their Mama. Bet they are having sweet dreams knowing how much their Mummy loves them. Bet they can't wait for morning to come to see your face and have another special day in your care.

One day at a time Dotty. You really are doing great and you have so many people who know you are fantastic.

Baby steps honey ... better times are just around the corner xxx

My dd just put her unsterilised filthy dummy in the baby's mouth. I left the room for two mins to go to the toilet, the baby was in the cot, her in the living room and i went into the baby and she was there pushing h er disgusting dummy in his mouth. Now Im so worried he will be unwell.

Today was a nightmare. We have to go back the day before we fly to pick up an emergency passport. I have to go and fax more documents to the tomorrow.

Im not up to this. Im really not. I am trying, and Im trying so hard, but I cant do this. If I could just get on the plane, not have to tidy and clean the house ready to be left, run around sorting out things for passports, get a long list of stuff to go out with...if I could just get on the plane, then perhaps i could make it. Doing all this I jsut cant. My c section scar is still apart in places and really sore. Ive been up and down tube train escaltors..

I keep worrying. What if the baby's head knocks on something, what if dd fals over and hurts herself. Everythign seems fraught with danger and I dont feel Im able to protect them.

Im sorry. I am trying, I know Im unwell, but I just cant make this work.

Its selfish of me to post here. All the long posts and things people have written, amazing beautiful things, supportive and kind, and I dont have the energy to reply properly, but I do read and it does help. Im just in one big black hole right now. Im sorry

don't worry about us dotty.....delighted you are posting at alll!!

don;t worry about the dummy....DS (7) spent the first few weeks of DD's life shoving his fingers in her mouth..which were certainly not terribly sterile!

you will be ok,,,,,you are making plans and progress

have you had any help from the mnetters near you

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

you are doing so , so well..you have amazing inner strength,.,please acknowledge it...xxx

Dotty, I am sitting here on my own while my dh is at a work do, ds in bed, so why dont you email my hotmail with your number right now and I can call you.

you are doing so well but have so much on your plate right now, I can offer some practical help at least, help clean your place before you go, fax some stuff - the work fax could do with some use!!

If I didnt have my ds in bed with a cold I would jump in my car and come over but I can at least be a voice at the end of the phone.

I really hope I get to talk to you soon.

dotty - please try to break things up into stages.

can you possibly have someoen look at your scar? I'm not up on these things but surely it shouldn't be open still. please remember to take care of yourself as well.

as for the serile thing, my DS puts everyhting in his mouth - including the dogs toys (on teh rare occasion) I know it doesn't make you feel any better but he's just fine and dandy. )

right and as for the cleaning etc, i'm sure the mnetter's won't mind pitching in and helping you out/will your mum help you out with the cleaning part?

also how are you sleeping? are you managing to get any rest at all, and eating, you still need to keep your strenght up.

you're doing excellent hon, you really are and fingers crossed, this won't be forever, you will feel 'normal' again. your DD will forgive you and will forget, as my mum keeps telling me 'I might not like you (or your behaviour) all the time but I sure as hell love you'. please take some comfort in that. being a mummy's bloody hard work and with everything you have on you're coping immensly well. never forget that, you're a v strong lady even thou you don't feel it now. it will not be long and you'll be on that plane hopefully on your way to a brand new better beginning for you and your family.

and remember we're all here for you, shout rant cry whatever

Its kj_nutley@hotmail dot com

saves you trying to find it again

Hi, just wanted to give everyne an update. I have just had a lovely long chat with dotty and she just sounds the most amazing person.

I must admit I was expecting her to sound really down, but she is so strong and I genuinely feel amazed at how well she is doing with what she has had to deal with.

I am going to see her tomorrow so hope I can help make her feel better.

My first post on MN was this one, and I cannot beleive that coming on here will allow me to hopefully make a difference to someones life when they need it. What a great privilege and a great site.

She did tell me that eveyones reaction on here made her realise that giving up her dcs was wrong so we did something right!

Dotty, look forward to seeing you tomorrow.

That's fantastic Kezza, I'm really pleased that she has some contact with someone 'real' at last, thank God for you!

Dotty, you really sound so much stronger each time we hear from you, I understand that it must be hard for you sometimes but we really do appreciate hearing from you. Please let someone check your scar and remember to take care of you, and don't worry about the dummy thing.

Thankyou for calling Kezza it's a big step to call someone you don't know and you should feel pleased with yourself for taking such a positive step.

Look after yourself and hopefully you'll have an even better night tonight.

kezza....

i have been so worried about dotty ,when she said she wasn't going to post anymore on wednesday.. i truly feared the worst.....

so so so so so so so glad you are in a position to help her

bless you kezza......xxx((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))