Full Mental Normality

[Enpoid]

Kubricking it.

Mitch

Please call mad cancerous friend or someone to moan and chat to. Or molest pets. Something to help a bit

Am wearing first pair of free five day contact lens trial. Nasty ghosting and poor acuity in my astigmatic eye. Toric lenses are shit.

((( mitchy )))

Yes! I had them for six months once when I ordered the wrong ones I thought for ages that my eyesight had suddenly changed. I'm only -1.75 so not strong at all, but it still was noticeable.

this morning mad cancerous friend was still tucked up in bed with that chap from last night :) that makes me smile anyway

but otherwise yeah I would whinge at her, my carcinogenic negativity can't do much more harm than it already has?

Just seen a triggering news story

the news can be so horrible :(

do you like any comedy? need something to make you smile and break the spell

have some stuff still to achieve today:

get dressed
buy chestnut plaiting bands
do horsebeasts
bravely go into the co-op and see what can find for #3's supper

I've got QI on, thanks.

Good luck with your achievements, mitchy

There is hail and I'm seriously contemplating mitching off my run today

Don't run. My arse aching from running yesterday.

You wouldn't want to slip over.

I'm going to pretend DP hasn't offered to drive me to the gym to use the treadmill instead.

No he hasn't. You misheard.

Rest days are as important as exercise days, right?

Totally. Your muscles have to do something on rest days.

Today I am v glad I'm not in work. I've spent all day in bed or on the sofa abs eaten my weight in crisps.

Can't stop crying. CPN phoned instead of visited (which is fine, there were good reasons), v short call as I find it hard to talk on the phone (I didn't cry to her). She basically reiterated what I'd said in my email about being v low, only qu was how long for. Thankfully she didn't ask about ideation.

I'm increasing the antidepressant, and CPN offered the day hospital. My knee jerk response is no thanks, as although it helps some, it's also very difficult to do. Has anyone else done day hospital? What did you think of it? I'm sure she will ask again.

I appear to be failing at being mentally normal.

The medication increase is good. I would go for the day hospital as it means you will see people and there will be people you can speak to if you need to. It isn't something that's been offered to me, I'm not even sure if it happens here, but it sounds like something helpful.

I used to use a day hospital; it was helpful for me to have a reason every day to be up, dressed, and out of the house.

The problem is that they watch you, and record your 'behaviours'.

Interestingly enough, requesting a copy of my notes several years ago enabled me to clear up a day hospital related mystery - I was discharged before I felt ready and didn't know why - when I read the notes, it turns out they thought they'd offered me a place in a women's support group that I never turned up to. So I was booted from the whole day hospital programme for noncompliance. Except I never knew anything about a women's group

They were really terrible about communication back then, even worse than now - letters from them were usually franked two weeks later than the date on the letterhead, would often arrive after the appointment they were offering, or never turned up at all. They would blame my postal service, or my flakiness personally, treat me as an unreliable and noncompliant liar, etc., and DP too (both for my appointments and his). Always blame the patient, though, eh? That's one of the perks of working in mental health; your patients have zero credibility.

Yes, everything's a "behaviour" - "patient engaged in drawing behaviours for two hours" kind of thing.

I've been forced into using day hospital in the past. I absolutely hated it but everyone's different.

I have to say I hate how patronising it is. And the 'psychoeducational' groups which you only ever get to do 2/6 sessions of, and they appear to pick the topic on a whim each time. And they go on walks which I can't, so I end up sitting in the day room by myself. On a practical level, it makes me want to reduce my antipsychotic so I'm more awake in the mornings. My other fear is sectioning, I've been sectioned from outpatients and from day hospital before.

I agree about the credibility, enpo, it's awful.

Snowy, do think about daycare, it can be very, very therapeutic and if you decide you don't like it, you don't have to carry on (as long as you remain a voluntary patient, obv)
Caulk, the EDU used to offer daycare, but not sure if they still do. It was either a step down from inpatient or a step up from outpatient (or both)
I'm having a peaceful bath, while my mum entertains DD. I haven't achieved much mental normality today, or much at all really! I have, however, been educating DTherapist about whatsApp (via text). I occasionally offer her advice about her iPhone, as she is about 103 and even worse than I am with technology