Bollockybollockybollocky HTT

[EnpoTree]

Basically I have to take bloody diazepam three times a day and be visited by HTT every day and even then the nurse reckons it's 50/50 if I'll need to go into hospital or not. This has gone too far. I'm absobloodylutely sodding fine and visited the drop-in as I was worried I was going to become not-fine and wanted to know how to stop DP worrying unnecessarily after having spoken to CMHT as I was referred from GP as I wanted to avoid becoming depressed and how to maintain my current good humour and general sparkling and effervescent nature. The lesson apparently being that being responsible and proactive with your mental health gets you accused of poor insight and told to take drugs on pain of hospital admission.

She's really fucking scared me. I will not go into hospital. So to avoid it I have to swallow pills that make me slow and stupid and sleepy even though I am totally happy with the way I am now and it's everyone else who doesn't like it. Maybe its everyone else who needs bloody medicating.

I hate this so much. I know its a bad idea to get involved in MH services. So why do I ever go back?

I mean that I don't like the artificial doping feeling when I'm high. When low, it takes the edge off the utter shittiness. When high, meh.

Problem with wonderful euphoric highs is they're always the pace makers if the mental race, they sat off marvellously, but then drop out and leave you dangling. IYSWIM.

Ah.

I've had some this morning like the good compliant patient that I am but it doesn't appear to be doing anything which is an improvement on yesterday when it was blocking the energy on its ay from the ground to the sky and causing it to build in my chest so I had to get out and throw it yi the sky and got found running down the middle of an A road singing and throwing it to the sky by people who seembto be worried but don't know that I was beingnorotected and got me to stand at the side of the roundabout until DP came to find me (but couldn't explain any of this)

Very fuckng anxious as I'm supposed to be being visited by a psychoatrisy today but nitnsure whether to let them in or not ad I suspect they are senidibg a psychiatrist rather than a nurse because they want to prescribe be more drugs and I won't take drugs.

Oh sweet Jesus of Jowett my typing sucks hippo tits.

As far as I'm aware if you don't let them in they can't do anything to you, like bailiffs

I've been listening to Allegri's miserere thisnmroning on. deezer and its so.sublime I could weepnwoth fucking howly joy. But the buildup is heavy soni ma have to switch to Hung Up again to shift some.

Not that I would go to hospital anyway. They can't lock you up for a good mood!

Sorry wimbling on again.

You really need to let the psychiatrist in.

I get that you like feeling happy. I get that you don't want this to be mania so badly that you won't even say the word.

It never ends well, though. Never. And you aren't just happy. Running around on roads is dangerous for you and for other people.

Your DP is worried. You need to trust him.

When my mood changes, I often don't think anything needs to be done. I get help, if DP thinks I need it, though. I trust him to have my best interests at heart. I don't want to hurt him. Can you do the same?

Tell them that you don't like the Diaz, and that it's making you feel suffocated. They can try something else. Don't reject all help, though.

Bit if you let them in they can haul you off and lock you up and they appear to be under the impression this might be necessary.

The nurse said 50/50 which totally shocked me because I ESD under the impression I cOULdnt be detained under the MHA

So if I reiterate to them that everything's fine then the only wway they could get me is by convincing a magistrate which wont happen ad anyone outside the Mh echo chamber will see what is obvious whichbis the you don't lock up healthy happy people

Yes the soaring soprano is sublime but can't decide whether I prefer those with a boy soprano or a woman. I feel the 21st century woman's voice is probably closre to that of the poor bloody castrati

I've been in three times voluntarily. Never again

Crappy bugger they just rang and they're coming here at 1215

I'm sure its all fine and he will just prescribe some more diazepam or something or some other drugs I can pretend to take

Pretty sure they can't section me without a diagnosed mental illness

Right?

Mother and baby units are quite rare aren't; they?

My helpful and polite nature got the better of me and I gave the guy detaioed descriptions of my difficult-to-fibd house. I'm a proper dumbfuck couldvevsent him to Aberdeen or something if I'd had the presence of mind

Buvthrb part of me wants to see this guy to prove that I don't need the htt or diazepam any more

Oh SHUT UP ENPO

I don't understand why the URL of this subforum says "feeling depressed"

Thankyou to anyone still reading this. I feel very alone and scared and can't say a lot of what want to to other people around me (well DP). They're trying to sour it all for me! I should be enjoying myself not having to worry about being locked up without having committed a crime. Not that I think they can - I won't let them - but I don't want to have to what I will have to do to avoid admission & I will do WHATEVER IT TAKES

Except drugs

I am not a violent person

They can section you without a diagnosis. The diagnosis can happen in hospital. It's waaaaay better to be a voluntary patient than formal. Seriously, so if they say about voluntary or MH act, then go to voluntary. Voluntary means leave, getting out of the building and some element of freedom. Section means Nada for as long as the psych decides is necessary.

If they think they can section you then you get the offer first.

Other options are to agree to more drugs, that may get you somewhere, but it's not guaranteed.

Don't be scared. I've been an inpatient and it's not so bad.