Still Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc thread 2

[MySpideySenseTickles]

The thread filled up!
I made a new one hope no one minds.

(((Snowy))) so sorry to read that :( I hope that your spirits lift and that tomorrow will be a better day for you. Maybe downtown abbey if you watch it will cheer you a little?

Victrix - I thought you were a little quiet, and had thought maybe you had your surgery? Yes am with you on that headphones issue and noisy hospital neighbours!!

I am in telly heaven tonight. Watched strictly - how does that blooming Judy Murray stay in every week??? X factor now then Downton Abbey, Homelands later too :)

(((( spidey )))) that must have been terrifying.

Enjoy the tv collar

Really hope tomorrow is a better day for all x

Sorry for triggering a widespread craving ice cream. I've eaten half the tub and now feel a bit queasy. Will get out of bed to watch Homeland.

I'm going to bed soon, getting icecream cravings but I've got a dodgy tummy. Hope it's a 24 hour thing.

I'm listening to the QI podcast. NoisyWoman is unbelievably still talking

I've not been overly stressed recently when I keep seeing these things, I don't know what's causing it.
I think tonight was triggered by my anxiety at being out alone with ds in the dark visiting a cash machine to withdraw £100 I told Dh I didn't want to go but he insisted I went on the way home from mils because it's to go towards his new car which is being delivered tomorrow while he's at work so I have that to sort too...
But at least ds is going out with his aunties for all of Tuesday, picking him up straight after breakfast and not back till bedtime so I'll get to relax then and hopefully push through this shitty cough and go for a run, I've noticed how much worse I feel this week because I've not run, I think it's more vital to my mental health than I had thought.
The poor gp is getting a list tomorrow and I'm going to demand that some sort of help is put in place, I need to find out where the voice and these things I'm seeing are coming from so I can stop them happening, or at least have someone I can talk to about it as I once mentioned the voice to Dh in passing and he laughed and thought I was joking, he flat out refused to believe me so I just don't tell him. You guys and the counciller I saw once over a bloody month ago are the only ones who know about the voice and only you know about the things I saw, I had no one irl who I can talk to.
Mil insists on thinking that I'm going to the Dr for my IBS even though she knows what's really wrong.

Sorry to hear that Spidey. I bet that's frustrating on top of everything else, feeling like you won't be and actually not being believed. Is it an internal/external voice (if you don't mind me asking)?

Anxiety was what made me the jumpiest/made me feel a 'prescence' behind me or in the room etc when I was ill last year. And it was worse with obviously 'creepy' things (like being out at night, alone at home at night, in a hospital ward with lots of other inpatients and unlocked doors etc). Hope your GP takes you at your word. Sorry for the ramble! I just remember feeling stupid/embarassed before and having no one to talk to about it in rl either so hoped it might help

I'm Ready to shut down for the night so wish u all a peaceful night xxx

Aaaargh she's started again

Also my bed is next to a storage cupboard that every nurse seems to need to use every five minutes.

I'll going to stop complaining and try to sleep. Night all x

I know what you mean orchard,
The voice is inside my mind, right at the back of that makes sense, he's always been there for as long as I can remember but it's only the last few months when he's really ramped up and started being aggressive and nasty, it's the voice of my abuser and before it would just start up when I was really upset about something and would repeat the things he used to say to me but now he answers back and tells me people are staring and other things.
Seeing things well that's all new, I've had the odd glimpse in the past of things but I think everyone sometimes has that it's just getting more often lately.

I hope you get some sleep vic.

I'm off to lay in bed and not sleep again.
On the plus side I'm getting loads of crochet done.

I finally got some sleep.

And I have a positive future plan

That's good Victrix

Hope it's pretty Spidey. Sounds horrible. I'm sorry you're having a hard time telling people/convincing people. Hope your GP listens

DS slept really badly...again. And I kept waking up anyway so have barely slept. Know I need to go back to the GP but dreading it. They can be so hit and miss and MIrtazipine made me so fat last time, so I need to ask for something else (but have a history of reacting badly/becomming very suicidal with some ADs so I get nervous before I've even started the buggers).

Why can't they just give you a magic pill that works and has no unpleasent side effects?

Morning everyone. I hope this is a good and positive day for folks.

Spidey - I hope the GP is helpful today. I actually find mine can get things moving quicker than by waiting for the CMHT. Pulled - in hope things are better for you today.

Victrix - noisy people are bloody hard work when you can't even get away from them.

DH has gone for an interview this morning, fingers crossed he gets it as he hates where he is now and it also pays more money, which we desperately need.

Sorry for not mentioning everyone :)

Good luck to your DH Screamer

At least the sun's out in the South. Makes a nice change!

Orchard - I get hugely suicidal when I first start taking anti depressants. In have to actually write it down and remind myself over the first few days that it's just the drugs and it will pass.

It's not sunny here today, but it's not raining. Not raining in cumbria is similar to a sunny day elsewhere.

Orchard - oh I'd LOVE that pill. I'm often sure that most people are on it anyway, they just don't let on what it is called and that's why they don't understand this depression malarkey.

That must be it Caulk

I missed the memo or something...

I didn't actually get it with Mirtazipine and it sorted my sleep and anxiety really well. I loved it. Buuuuuuuuuuut I put on a stone, despite carefull eating/calorie counting so I just stopped it as soon as I possibly could!

Hoping to try Venlaflazine (sp...rubbish at names) as I've heard good things, and worth a shot.

Hope everyone has a better day!

Today I'm meant to be at a job interview. Instead I'm trying to stop crying like enough to get dressed and drive to the meeting the cpn and psychiatrist. Sometimes life is shit isn't it.

Arggggghhhh I just typed so much & lost it stupid phone.

victrix glad you got some sleep

orchard sorry to hear U've had a rough night hope today is better for you

spidey sorry ur having frequent flashbacks - They can be so debilitating. Crochet sounds fun would love to see ur creations

screamer good luck to ur DH today. Love the new name by the way (sorry that's just clicked on my brain)

((( caulk ))) really hope ur meeting goes well and helps relieve some pressure so ur less tearful

Oh I'd love that magic pill too I've woken up absolutely on the wrong side of the bed. Poor DH has been snapped at already and DD just got a bit of a stare. Just realised it's half term so a whole week of DD to look forward too

Got my psychotherapy appt later but really can't face it today so thinking about cancelling - feel really low and don't think I could cope with talking about the abuse. Have a scary though that it might make me want to SH today and of course the voices are agreeing with all this.

Well at least the sun is out a bit but as per usual I can't open the curtains in my bedroom. They are always drawn because I feel as if people can see inside my room if they are open.

snowy hope ur morning is going well

Aaaagggghhh car disaster, Dh forgot to leave enough money to cover the delivery, they were going to take it back, I manag to convince them to leave the car but they've taken one o the keys and all the paperwork until we pay the rest, they're coming back later for the money but now I'm all in a flap, because I'm fretting that they think I'm stupid and that they're going to come back and sneak off with the car with the key they have.
I couldn't manage to count out the money when they were here and couldn't properly focus on what they were saying they came at just the wrong time, I was making ds lunch and the voice was really bad and shouting and then decided to take the piss about how I can't even cope with little things.

All this stress over £25!

spidey I hope you're feeling less stressed now and that you get some respite from the voices. I know exactly how you feel and it's horrible.

I'm at home for the afternoon so see my CPN with a stack of paperwork that I'm avoiding

Sounds like a stressful morning all round

Was a bit non-verbal this morning when the surgeon was on his rounds. Think it put them all off

On the bright side I have a date for my op and therefore only have gallstones for another three weeks!

Hurrah for op dates victrix. I hope those stones don't trouble you too much between now and then.