Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

[fluffydressinggown]

Shiny new thread. xx

Hi all.
It's Kat- different username.
I crashed in spectacular fashion. Without much warning, yesterday.
Part of my illness is that I get really hostile and start saying things to upset other people, partly because I'm paranoid and partly to invoke a reaction.

I don't think I've learned to manage the illness and my thoughts, very well. Still, not an excuse for what I did. Nana and Keema and Snowy I am a fool and I'm so sorry. Something happened in rl that really triggered me and sent me into self-destruct mode. I am so upset I hurt other people in my whirlwind of emotions. I wasn't thinking rationally.

It was very hard not to act on the thoughts I was having yesterday after I dropped dd off to school. I lost track of time and collapsed in the kitchen. I phoned my CpN in the end. She is concerned about the delusions, anger and paranioa.She says try and keep myself safe, it's because my meds are wrong. I've got new ones now.

My GP pescribed valuim in the short term because of the way I'm feeling. I can't really say all of it on here, but there's lots of weird beliefs, spaced out, my lips are tingling and then in between, making plans. I've calmed down a lot now though, run out of energy. Tired so very very tired. But thinking of you all, especially fluffy and those who I hurt yesterday.

I'm sorry.

I don't know pulled - I think she must know, but (e.g.) she is claiming paralysis so she can't walk on one hand, on the other was posting how many days recently she beat her 10,000 pedometer readings. And telling medics that she hasn't been to the loo when she has. I'm trying to forget about it, my friend is (understandably) angry about how her symptoms have been copied etc, I suggested she cool the relationship.

((( spidey ))) Take good care of yourself.

I know just how you feel Spidey I have very low self esteem and I always have done and it doesn't help I am overweight. It's just unfortunate I like really tasty food that isn't healthy.

I am starting on slimfast soon though and then once I've lost a bit I'm planning to take up more exercise.

I haven't posted on here for a while probably a year or so since I've been on the MN board - I regularly NC.

I suffer(ed - when you're on meds and not too bad, you aren't completely cured are you) of depression, mild OCD and anxiety and am on sertraline.

I hope everyone is doing OK today. x

Oh yeah and don't ever try to purge using castor oil...it's well gross.

Food issues? Me? Nooooooooooo

Good advice re cooling the relationship snowy that would really make me angry also. That person does not sound like the kind of friend anyone need/want.

I'm up to 3.5ltrs of water, still thirsty and still pooing waterive been sick a couple of times now too.
At least it was a learning experience, I'll not try binge-purge again!
Dh thinks I have a stomach bug and is coming home early.

Ds is not coping well with school, he's bitten another child again and while they say it's understandable for a child of three to bite it's the frequency and the growing aggression behind it, a little boy reached past him to get a train so he bit him so hat the boy had to be taken home early by his dad, he's made a right mess. A child played in the sandpit with him so he threw sand in his face.
He seems to have no remorse or empathy I've had concerns for a while, he's cruel to our kitten too.
I thought about autism but he has good eye contact and shows affection to us, he just doesn't seem to care about anyone.
I once had a massive rant on here when someone suggested he was showing signs of psychopathy but now I'm not so sure, I think I need to discuss with the gp what to do and if he needs help.

I need to lose weight too, difficult as I can't exercise. I think anything you take to help things through you is disgusting - I take senna, lactulose and movicol, there are days I'd rather skip the constipating medication than slug back 4 movicol.

Agreed, pulled

In answer to a previous poster, no not on lithium, on fluoxetine and started fybogel the other day as I'd not pood in nearly a week, I don't think that's a concern anymore!

Spidey that sounds tough. I'm sure a chat with the GP would help. One of my colleagues' DS had a six month biting phase but he stopped eventually.

My cat has just ruined my calm afternoon by pulling a massive spider out from behind the TV and flung it in my direction. Managed to deploy the dyson and am now clinging to a stiff gin

Oh food is my friend especially at the moment. Not good when I'm overweight but I've just lost all hope of losing it now after trying many diets. My physical disabilities mean I can't exercise either snowy so I feel ur pain there. My daily exercise is in form of the short walk to/from DD's school which is enough to stop my body functioning.

spidey if it's any help my now 4 year DD went through a phase of biting but kind of grew out if it herself. We're now tackling the lovely habit of spitting she is usually fine all day then all of a sudden she will try to spit at u. I'm hoping again she will just grow out if it

Yikes victrix I would have downed a whole bottle after that - if only I drank

I've not been drinking for the last few months- was being well behaved on the meds. But I feel like this was an exception!

Only had the one and followed it up with a galaxy

Yes, I'm ashamed to admit that I went to the chippy earlier Looking forward to tomorrow as my OU course's website opens

Is it maths you are doing, Snowy?

I'm thinking of starting the economics and mathematical sciences degree in February- I dropped out of higher maths twice but I do have a textbook I can study from.

n you drink on fluoxetine because I really need a drink, Dh has come home from work and gone ballistic he's locked all ds toys away and shut him in his bedroom.
I think I'm too soft on him sometimes and sometimes Dh is too strict. It breaks my heart to be sat outside his room listening to him cry after Dh gave him a massive bollocking.

Yes, it's Maths. I did a-level Maths and Further Maths 15+ years ago, I've forgotten it all now.

Textbooks are so much better these days - I bought some A-level ones, and they have it all on CD (I find that easier than using a book).

Would that degree be with the OU or somewhere close to you, victrix?

Also just downed a 2lr bottle of diet coke, getting slightly concerned with the epic insatiable thirst and worried about water poisoning.

I'm very anxious today can you tell?!

Go sounds good idea, spidey.
I have taken a valuim and been thinking. I act like this a lot, upsetting people. I think everyone is out to get me and then I turn really aggressive and hostile and fall out with people. I read everything people say in rl all wrong, and imply some vicious meaning where there isn't one, then fall out with people for no reason. I get paranoid that everyone is talking about me, and hear whispering in my ears. I think everyone is talking about me when they aren't, things like Facebook statuses and so on.

I have even been told I'm paranoid, and that I emotionally manipulate people in rl. This all started when I heard the first two voices back in April, just a little bit before. Then I end up crying and begging people for forgiveness, because I've crossed too many lines and said so many things I can't unsay. I get so, so hostile and even swear at people sometimes. I get in to huge arguments because I think people are persecuting me. I used to be such a nice and sweet person, so lovely and laid back, now I don't even know who I am anymore. I think this was sent to punish me in some way, but my dd is suffering too, and I don't know why. I have been crying too much. I have lost myself, lost friendships, lost my character, my soul, I feel like my spirit has been pulled out of me. I behave like that in almost every group, and I don't know why. What is it? A paranoid delusion? Delusion of persecution? Just paranoia?Oh God, I can't even believe to apologise enough. I feel as though I'm possessed by dlsone thing beyond my control sometimes, that I'm beyond help and that no treatment work ever work, I'm just too far gone. I feel like I'm turning into sonethibg evil I don't even recognise. I think I need sleep. Pulled, I like cake too

It would be through the OU- I should be able to get the part time fee grant that is offered in Scotland- assuming that's still available by Feb

Spidey it sounds like you're having an awful day- thinking of you x

Oh I hope the grant is available, victrix. I have been under the transition rules, but if I switch my degree to Maths I'll have to pay current (very expensive) fees. I crashed out of 2 psychology modules last year, couldn't concentrate/retain information to write essays. Maths can be split into small chunks easier I think, plus I used to be good at it (not so good at essays).

I hope you're ok, spidey You must feel awful.

I need to think about what I'm going to do after I've been made redundant. What I do is quite specialised and the chance of me being able to find something elsewhere is slim.

So what can I do? Throw your best ideas at me. Not teaching though. I used to teach and I'd rather lick out my own nostrils than do that again.

Retrain as a healthcare professional? nurse, midwife, doctor, occupational therapist, physiotherapist, podiatrist, speech and language therapist, optometrist/optician, someone who works in auditory?

Hi, can i join in?

I'm feeling a bit abandoned by the medical profession and could do with some support. Feel like I'm never going to get better.

I'm a teacher, Keema, which bit did you not like?

Audiologist is what I was trying to say

I'm sorry you feel that way, Pare Are you getting much support at present?

The children yesitsme

I think you have to really want to teach to do it as it takes over your life. For about a year after I quit, I was still recording programmes off the TV for use in class, forgetting that I didn't have any classes any more!

Health care professional sounds interesting. Not sure whether I'm too old to retrain though.

Hi Snowy, not really. My GP says he can't help so I just have ADs and I'm waiting for CBT for trauma.