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Original poster

Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

999 replies

fluffydressinggown · 14/09/2014 22:50

Shiny new thread. xx

OP posts:
SnowyMouse · 08/10/2014 18:17

(((( fluffy )))) (((( spidey )))) (((( All ))))

Mentalpsychiatrist · 08/10/2014 19:51

Been to the pub for dinner. Two pints of IPA might have been a little excessive. Need to do something about my lithium tremor, it's been dreadful again today, holding my drink without sloshing it over the edge was tricky. Going to watch the Bake Off final and sober up.

Victrix · 08/10/2014 19:59

(((everyone)))

Bake Off, bath, then bed.

SnowyMouse · 08/10/2014 20:06

The question is Richard, Luis or Nancy?

SnowyMouse · 08/10/2014 20:07

Can you take anything for the tremor?

Mentalpsychiatrist · 08/10/2014 20:08

Propranolol reduces the tremors, I'll get a script tomorrow.

I vote Richard for Bake Off winner.

SnowyMouse · 08/10/2014 20:10

I was thinking Richard too. This viennoiserie looks complex.

Victrix · 08/10/2014 20:13

It's Richard's to lose I think. I'm finding it stressful to watch Confused

MySpideySenseTickles · 08/10/2014 20:40

Richard has to win. Wouldn't be right if he didn't.
Still feeling shitty but trying to put it to the back of my mind, it's running day tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it. I like being alone in the woods it's quiet, running makes me feel better too.

I cried this afternoon because my jeans that are the smallest I have and I squeezed into tight last week kept falling down, I'll need to buy new clothes but don't feel ive gotten the wear out of those my weight is changing so fast i can't keep up. I should be happy and in a way I am but it's strange, I'm not the fattest person wherever I go anymore.
I don't have to find the closest parking space to the shop so I'm not out of breath when I get inside.
I even fit in toilet cubicles easier now.
It's like I'm just waiting to wake up and have all the weight back on, I have size 24 jeans upstairs that I'm holding onto "just in case" even though I've just been looking at size 18 jeans (not quite there yet but almost)

SnowyMouse · 08/10/2014 21:04

Gosh, Nancy.

It's good to have something to look forward to, Spidey. I'm going to talk to someone about CBT tomorrow. Well done on that weight loss too! I wish I could lose that quickly. Smile

Night all.

Collardove · 08/10/2014 21:28

(((hugs to all)))

We went to visit DS today as Wed he has no lectures at uni, he is 20 tomorrow.
Gosh how the years have passed...
He always has the same look on his face when he sees me, as he doesn't know what sort of day I am having. But I held it together and it was a nice day. We took him for lunch, and he ate nonstop! As though it was his last meal - typical student food fare seems to consist of chilli or curry. We went for a carvery and he had the lot!!!

Home in time to see the last half hour of bake off :)

(((Fluffy))) and (((Spidey))) thinking of you both.

I was looking at how many posts there has been on this thread. 961 since fluffy started the new one not so long ago.

That's a lot of support and very heartening isn't it? :)

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 08/10/2014 21:38

spidey your problems are just as important as mine, please don't feel they aren't.

OP posts:
tonightsthekindofnight · 08/10/2014 22:17

Fluffy, your desperation and despair is so clear in your posts it is hard to read and hard to imagine the pain you are feeling. I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation.

I know I have said this before and you may not believe it but you deserve happiness and a meaningful life. You have survived so much already, I truly believe you have an awful lot to offer this world. It's clear from the support you offer others. Many NHS trusts are desperate for experts by experience to work alongside professionals to help others. From the advice you give and your compassionate tone I can imagine you being invaluable in such a role.

In these darkest moments please try to hold on to the people who love you and who you love. Please think of the beautiful things in this world, and the things no matter how small that give you pleasure. There is life out there that is worth living. I know from your thread you have hopes and ambitions, you deserve a shot at them.

This may be unpleasant to hear and please tell me so but the unit you are on are not going to let you kill yourself. They are going to keep you safe. If this means constant observations and PICU and a section 3 then that is what they will do. Please consider though that these methods may harm your long term recovery. Please fluffy dig deep, like you have before and fight this. You can start to take responsibility and move towards recovery. You can start to think about things that can help. There are so many more beneficial and kinder treatments than the ones available to you right now but ultimately you have to chose that is what you want.

I am thinking of you tonight and hoping you have a restful night and a more positive day tomorrow.

Victrix · 09/10/2014 10:01

(((All)))

I feel so flat today. It's looking more and more likely that I'm going to lose my job Sad

I've been off for 6 months already and I'm nowhere near well enough to go back. I feel like such a failure.

Pulledapart · 09/10/2014 10:39

((( victrix ))) ((( all )))

In bed with a hot water bottle - finally time of month is here - so I can stop stressing about pregnancy now thank God. But feel absolutely shite thanks to horrible cramps plus the stupid cold Sad

Hope everyone is having an okaish morning Flowers

MySpideySenseTickles · 09/10/2014 11:27

Ive always found that when ive been late it's worse when it does start. Get the chocolate and gin out. Look after yourself.
The sun is shining ive been in contact with the Samaritans and I'm going for my run. I'm Not really feeling all that much better but hopefully the run will help.

Pulledapart · 09/10/2014 11:44

Chocolate is the right course of Action I think spidey thanks. Hope u enjoy your run & I'm sure it will help Smile

Mentalpsychiatrist · 09/10/2014 12:24

victrix sorry to hear about your job! that's really crappy.

pulled I hope the chocolate is helping.

spidey enjoy your run.

I'm just writing up some notes and then I'm going to go tyre shopping. Work is pretty tiring so I'm glad I'm on half days next week too.

Victrix · 09/10/2014 12:42

Pulled Chocolate is definitely the way to go, I hope you feel better soon.

Enjoy your run Spidey Smile

Thanks MP, nothing is definite, but there's only so long they can hold my job for me and our HR department is being vague about timescales. It could be that I could be offered something similar but I just need to wait and see. I don't see myself being able to go back any time soon though Sad

Loveisashadow · 09/10/2014 13:34

Hi all. Thanks for your messages of support , have been reading from a distance as much as I can. (Victrix)

I've been really low lately, so much that I can barely get out of bed and am just too exhausted to do anything. Have been waking up with panic attacks in the night, too. They are getting closer to a formal diagnosis, they think it's psychotic depression. My meds have worked on some stuff but not others, and mostly I'm feeling so low that I can hardly move. I went back to bed after I dropped dd off today,struggling to find the energy to get up and go to collect her from school. This is a totally new experience for me, I'm usually very productive and energetic, even when unwell. Have been self harming too.

MySpideySenseTickles · 09/10/2014 14:33

Mn is going down on Saturday morning, I have attempted to plead for mh to stay open but they can't.
So we're going to have to transfer over to gransnet for tge morning (6am till 2pm) I'm not entirely sure how to find gransnet though...

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 09/10/2014 14:37

Been put on a section 3 but not going to picu as of yet x

OP posts:
SnowyMouse · 09/10/2014 15:05

((( fluffy ))) What obs are you on?

Original poster
fluffydressinggown · 09/10/2014 15:34

5 minute obs I think

OP posts:
violetsrblue · 09/10/2014 16:06

Hi everyone (((all))). Yesterday was a tough day, I felt low and bleak all day. Just being in my flat with my son (an alcoholic) all day, not speaking to anyone, not going anywhere except to take my dogs out.
Today so far has been better. Got up early and went swimming. I only learned to swim recently and I'm still chuffed every time that I can actually do it. Spent some time shopping and in a caff. Then spoke to son's ex, and told her something of what's happening here and how ill he is. He doesn't eat at all now, just one Build Up per day and vitamins. He doesn't go out except for a trip to the shop to buy vodka, and he doesn't interact. We're not really getting any help, or haven't been, although I have got a carer's assessment next week. I was going to go and see them (the ex and grandchildren) but that's off the cards for now..too far and I'm too drained.
What I'm going to do is carry on, letting him stay here and trying to help myself by going to Al Anon, going for walks every day and swimming. Don't really know what else to do - not prepared right now to throw him out.
This is a bit of a long post so will stop now, and wish everyone autumnal good wishes, with hot drinks, blankets, chocolate and other nice autumn things Smile