Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

[fluffydressinggown]

Shiny new thread. xx

Open ended. Sorry not replying to anyone else right now, bit upset about things.

(((( fluffy )))) I don't blame you, being on constants is an awful experience, even though there is good clinical reasoning behind it.

Sorry to hear things aren't going so well fluffy. Nobody likes being on constants so I hope you get some reprieve soon.

Hi everyone, okish day here today. My friend came to help me practice interview question techniques, so thats a help.
I have 2 diazepams left. So will use those no doubt before Wed as anxiety levels will creep up tomorrow!

Welcome Violet :)

MP - I am glad your apt has gone well today with OH with a phased return back to work :)

Fluffy - I am sure that must be the best for you at this time. We all want you to get better (((hugs)))

Spidey - how did it go at the dr?

Snowy - are you ticking along ok again now?

Vicard - has anything been said at work? Hopefully your CI will be snowed under with emails on a Monday morning and just ignore it. With a bit of luck it will go unremarked....

Nana and Nethuns - how are you both feeling today? Any improvement on yesterday?

Keema - hope you are ok?

Victrix - whats the latest on your gallbladder?

Hi to silvery,lem, fuzzpig, pulled and everyone else x

Hi collardove, wishing you lots of luck. I'm a bit up and down, but better than I was, no more sobbing.

Thanks Snowy :)
I am glad you feel less teary now. i cried an awful lot when I felt at my most hopeless in Jan/Feb, and again in May. I am not so teary now, only when I get overtired and overly anxious.
I have decided though if I am unsuccessful :'( that I may give job hunting a break until the new year.
It really is stressful, and I have realized perhaps I need to be a little stronger.
DH said we could get by moneywise for 2/3 months ... Just.

Mumsnet keeps waiting till ive typed a big long post then glitches and loses it. Very frustrating!
Good appointment today, she's so pleased with my progress that when I go back in four weeks if I'm still the se she will move it to three monthly checkups. Theyre not doing anything about the panic attacks if they're still hapening in four weeks they'll look into meds but she doesn't want to adjust my meds when they seem to be working well. And I darent let her adjust them since the fluoxetine is working as an appetite suppressant and I owe much of my weightloss to that!
She was happy for me to do the couch to 5k but warned not to push myself too hard because I have a lot of pain generally from suspected fibromyalgia which the rhumatologist was a bitch and decided she didn't believe in fibromyalgia.
She also add a point of not commenting on my appearance after losing weight as she knows I find that hard to cope with and its a trigger for me, when people start noticing ive lost weight I panic and try to gain as much weight back as I can as quick as I can. To protect myself.

My legs and hips are not happy about todays excersise, tomorrow will definitely be a rest day as I'm not sure I'll be able to walk!

i actually got a fairly positive but non commital email back from CI.

however i had a total snotagram from some other bloke about another matter altogether, who cleary forgot that being on front line means you get sod all time to do stuff the minute you get asked.....ive sent a snotagram back and copied in his supervisor and mine since he did me the same courtesy.
wanker.
im in such a bad mood and im sick and tired of working tirelessly for a some snotty nosed little fuckwad to try and psycho analyse me and get it soooo wrong its untrue.
i was asked to do something 3 days ago that i didnt get chance to do - im now on leave and just because i didnt jump to it this dick has sent a snotagram to me and copied in my supervisor.

ive replied.
he is lucky he didnt get just 2 words back. off and fuck would have been appropriate and not in that order.

Morning all,
Had to get out of bed today as had to drop DD to school. Well we managed it with her kicking and screaming all the way. Why you ask? Because she did not want to have breakfast, wanted a different water bottle with peppa pig, wanted packed lunch in Minnie Mouse bag (just to say she has none of those items at home). She has used up all my brain cells and energy and I just wanna sit in a corner in my room and slit my wrists. I'm so full of rage right now and so so tired of all the tantrums. I've had a diazepam already so will calm down soon.

collar hope ur interview goes well. Best of luck

snowy hope ur having a good day (((hugs)))

fluffy lots and lots of (((hugs))) hope your day has started well.

spidey glad your appt went well and hope ur resting now from all the exercise. I wanted to say I have fibromyalgia and it took over 2 years for my rheumatologist to diagnose me after going through various different tests. From what I understand it's not an easy thing to diagnose. Can you maybe ask for a second opinion from another rheumatologist?

vicar well done for sending the response to the wanky email. Some people need to be put in their place otherwise they never learn. Hope ur day is going well.

Hello to victrix, Nana, Nethuns, silvery, MP, Keema & fuzzpig and anyone else I've forgotten. Hope ur all having an ok morning.

Some people compose their post in notepad or word, then copy and paste it when it's done, spidey. It's very frustrating when you lose it. I hope today is a rest day for you.

((( vicar ))) Some people are rubbish, shit-stirrers.

I'm soso pulled - trying to read my 'homework' before my CPN comes later.

How is everyone?

Afternoon everyone.

My positives - slept well, washed, dressed, hair done, make-uped so level 3/4.

Bit tired but ok. Seeing my Mum later.

Hope everyone is ok xx

Wow, I'm impressed fluffy

I can't concentrate on my reading, I really need to persevere.

Just had a call from my councillor, she's referring me to the community mental health team, as she doesn't think she can do enough to help me. I'm not sure what to think about it, it's good that they're trying to help me but this seems more serious than I thought, I thought I'd just see a councillor for a few weeks and it'd all be done but she says I'll be seeing a psychologist for a lot longer and they'll be a lot more Involved in my life than she could be.

I'm a bit scared, it all seems much more serious than I thought, I've carried all these secrets round for years and not told anyone how I felt and the first time I open up fully they decide I need serious professional help.

I also can hardly walk today, I hurt and I'm tired.

Great to see you going back up the levels fluffy!
I darent wear makeup, I'm not good at it it makes me look like a drag queen.

I think being referred to CMHT is a good thing spidey - they can take an holistic view, and look at meds as well as talking therapies.

It just seems a lot more serious than just counselling, I'm worried they think there's more wrong than just depression and they're not telling me also I liked that councillor she listened I'm worried they'll send me to someone I don't like or they'll refer to social services to look after ds.

spidey there's nothing to worry about being referred to the CMHT. You'll get much better 1:1 care and you get to see someone like me if you need medication and I'm as far from scarey as it gets.

What I am though is horribly bored.....

Listen to mp, they know what they're talking about. you may get assigned to a CPN (community psychiatric nurse) or a social worker. If you get assigned a social worker, it doesn't necessarily mean they have concerns how your DS is getting on, it's who they think will best support you.

I'm not sure what to say about boredom, mp - tv/box sets, gardening,baking/cooking,free online courses, creative writing?

I find myself limited by my concentration, only managing 10 minutes at a time of my OU course.

snowy thanks for the suggestions. I've been gardening all morning but I've run out of things to do out there. I might try to teach myself to knit again after a very wonky first attempt. At least I have plans to go riding tomorrow so that should keep me occupied. Boredom is a sure sign that I need to go back to work.

I am not in a great place this afternoon :(

I had to go in to town to get some new tights snd bits. I saw an excolleague from work. She was someone I was not overly close to, but got along with ok. who made a couple of comments about my problems I had at work this year.

I felt some of those old awful feelings on upset and it has really upset my day greatly.

I am annoyed at myself as I had a pair of tights at home for my interview tomorrow. Even though they had a little bobble in them, no one would see it. So if I would of stayed at home I would never of seen her. But it was such a sunny day I fancied going out for a walk.

Now instead of focusing on tomorrow mornings interview I am full of doom and anxiety. Thoughts and events swirling round in my head.

Sorry for my self indulgent post but I dont know how to lift myself out of this at this moment.

Good luck with the knitting, once you get into it it can be very soothing because of the repetitive movements.

(((( collardove )))) Sorry you bumped into such a negative person

Can you try writing it all down, then putting it away somewhere?

I've had a rubbish day, seriously contemplating takeaway.

Hello to one and all. I'll do my best to remember everyone but of course I won't and welcome violet - I remember someone called sparklymommy came on for a short time - think she had PND so maybe has found the PND thread.

Glad to hear you sounding more cheerful today Fluffy and hope you can get off constants soon. Are you taking the meds yet?

Snowy relieved you are feeling a bit more settled though I suspect your emotional equilibrium is still somewhat fragile. No comment about the maths! My idea of a nightmare and they "nearly did for me at school" too MP - they used to think I was just being stupid as I was ok at other subjects, and when years later I found out about dyscalculia I felt angry for all the times teachers had made me feel stupid and how I cried over algebra and geometry!

Victrix Is there a reason why they can't just remove your gall bladder instead of you having to suffer all this pain.....but think you said they might just do that this week - hope so.

Spidey I agree with what everyone else has said about a referral to the CMHT - I have a lovely CPN who has supported me through thick and thin over the past few years. There might be a long wait though following the referral because MH services are thin on the ground in most areas of the country.

Pulled hope you are ok(ish) after the morning hullabaloo with DD - how old is she - quite young I imagine if she's into Peppa Pig! Does someone else usually get her off to school. Hope the diazepam worked.

Collardove Oh dear SO sorry this chance meeting today has caused you to have such a set back and just the day before your 2nd interview. I really hope you can manage to soothe yourself sufficiently for tomorrow - it would be such a shame if not - come back and talk on here if it helps - sorry - don't know what else to suggest.

Hi to everyone else nethuns silvery fuzzpig and Vicar - glad nothing drastic has happened about the e mail to the CI though I know some nobhead has had a pop at you - you just seem to have to cope with crap after crap in that job and it must be very wearing. Incidentally did you see that programme last night (doc about police) must admit I found it quite gripping but got fed up of the David Brent lookalike going on about his holiday in Vegas and the "chinless wonder" who was getting out of the way if anything kicked off. Sorry folks just ignore if you didn't see it. Forgive me if I've forgotten anyone.

Keema I'm going to PM you x

Takeaway sounds great snowy. One of the disadvantages of living out in the wilds is that we don't have access to any.

HaHa snowy your post made me smile - I wondered what you were "seriously contemplating.........." and much relieved to hear it was a takeaway - go for it!! And enjoy! What are you having?