Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

[fluffydressinggown]

Shiny new thread. xx

Fuzzpig and fluffy - thanks! I am excited for the second interview, but no doubt anxiety levels will zip into overdrive over the next few days!!

Snowy - sending you a ((big hug)) so sorry you are so very upset this evening :(

Let's hope we all have a decent day tomorrow. Nite all xx

hi all
firstly - fluffy - you KNOW its not god....its the illness - its deceptive and sly and pretends to be something else....but its not God....trust me. If you take the meds the illness will subside and you will start to realise that its the bastard illness talking to you - not anything else - no higher power - not God....please please take the meds - medicine is to make you better - your illness is deceiving you.

snowy - try not to panic - they cannot possibly find anything but in your favour....i know its hard to work through the red tape - but just go through it and out the other side. Good idea to call CPN....get some support but i cant see how they can make you work.

collar - really well done. im rooting for you. Remind me what the job is?

my memory is shite. im trying to train my mind a bit with the meditation but failing horribly....ive just found a message on the answer phone which says DD was meant to be at dentist yesterday.....oh bloody hell - another appt forgotten. im so crap at organising myself.

on a positive note work is going well - the new group are a nice bunch. Sadly the lady who really asks after me and looks out for me is leaving to do another role next week - just found out - she takes time out to ask me how im doing and is really kind. The others are nice....but she is lovely. never mind....im feeling much better and seem to be fairing better with a nicer bunch of people.

best get to bed....i got in at midnight, ive sky plus-ed all the episodes of friends so im wading through them....ive played with the ratties but not managed any reading tonight - or meditation for that matter. will try to fit it all in tomorrow.

goodnight all. love to everyone ive not mentioned aswell as to those i have....
x

How did the telly tell you to kill yourself? Just curious, did you see gods head or hear him telling you. I am with vicard, you KNOW.

Thanks for not beleiving me guys :( That is harsh. I know what is the truth.

My positive for the day - washed, dressed, wearing my new pnk cardigan.

fluffy we believe that you believe it is God talking to you. However, belief and facts are two different things. When I had my first episode of hypomania 20 years ago, I believed I was going to have tea with Clarrie Grundy from the Archers.

As someone upthread said, why not take the meds and see if your experience of getting messages changes or stays the same?

If it's really god talking to you then the meds won't affect him. Try taking the meds, if he goes away he wasn't really god.
We believe you, we really do we all believe that you believe that God speaks to you through the tv. No one said that. But we've not heard him so we need proof like him being immune to meds and the drs help.

I have no idea if that made sense or was even helpful though.

My voice was shouting at me and berating me until 3am, hard to sleep when you're being yelled at. He's buggered off now so hopefully I'll get a peaceful day and maybe a nap.
Today I got into the jeans that were tucked at the back of the wardrobe as "too nice to bin but far too small" I've dropped from a size 24 (sometimes bigger) down to a size 20. Still massive compared to normal people but whoop I love these jeans!

Oh Fluffy we do believe that you hear these messages and that to you they are very real. It's just that we want you to find a bit more peace on the ward and it must be very scary for you to get these messages. Have you managed to find anyone to talk to, as I think that makes a difference and helps to pass the time.

Yes can you remind me as well collardove - what is the job you are applying for? When is the 2nd interview?

Vicar so glad that you are with a better bunch of people - you certainly needed to be, after putting up with all that shite from the other lot. Dare I ask how the "battle with the booze" is going? Also I remember you used to love working with horses and it always made you feel better when you were depressed. Not heard you mention them lately.

Am a fair bit better today and going to meet my grand-daughter from school. So that's my positive for the day.

Nice to see you Silvery - how are you doing?

Snowy are you feeling any more settled today or are you still worrying - hope you've got a reply from your CPN. I e mailed mine yesterday and she always gets back to me, so I think she must be off sick, which is worrying me as I like to think she's there if I need her.

Fluffy you know what. It doesn't matter if it is a real presence or something that is a result of your illness. Whatever it is , it is not god. Something masquerading as god is messing with your head. God would not tell you to kill yourself. Please take the meds

I emailed ATOS last night. They emailed this morning saying: " I confirm we have received the information from your GP which has subsequently been reviewed and we have now provided advice to the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) without the need for you to undergo an assessment on this occasion."

So at least I don't have to have an assessment, it's just the waiting now.

I will say, they've been very quick about responding the two times I've emailed them.

Thanks all for the support - I will try to respond properly to the thread later.

Oh (((( fluffy )))) please try to be compliant with the meds, they wont hurt and they might help.

Thank goodness for that Snowy - hope you have stopped worrying!

Fluffy, I believe you when you say that you're getting messages from god. I was i was in hospital with someone else who thought the same thing and I know it's as real to you as it was to them.

So maybe I should explain why I think it's your illness talking rather than god.

Firstly, I have to question why any god would want a bright and interesting woman, so full of potential to want to kill themselves. That doesn't sound like a god of love to me.

Then I ask myself, which God is it? Is it the god of the Abrahamic religions? YWH, God, Allah? The message from that god is that suicide is a sin. Why would they want you to sin against them?

Is it the power behind the Hindu gods? The Sikh god? The version of god behind Zoroastrianism, Rastafarianism, Buddhism? Shinto? Not one of those gods advocates the taking of your own life. I spent 6 years doing UG and PG theology degrees and qualifications, with a dissertations based on the ethics of suicide in comparative religion and the whole thing was a great big No from all of them.

If your messages are from the westernised Abrahamic Christian god, then that god is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. An all powerful god like that would be able to communicate to you regardless of what medications you took. If meds take away the messages, then I think; how could it be that god talking to you?

So that's why, while I believe your current reality has you receiving messages from god, I would really like you to try taking the meds and see whether your destiny could be a happy and healthy one outside of hospital, being in partnership with your DH, working or starting a family, which it know you wanted to do.

I won't post about it again as I think that's pretty much everything I could say. I just would love to see you better again xx

Good news snowy and well done for emailing.

Spidey well done on your jeans! I'm around the same clothes size as you - had lost a little earlier in the year but have stagnated. Comfort eating a lot ATM, it needs to stop! We can do it though :)

My positive - DH had the afternoon off so we got a bit of child free time :o

Going to a concert tonight in London. Feeling a bit apprehensive but will have DP and lorazepam with me so should be fine.

Sorry to bring my woes here when I haven't been around long. I'm struggling with I'm-not-sure-what. I had a high (unusual) for a few days and then dropped down, but now I'm experiencing just about every emotion possible at the same time. I've never felt elated and suicidal at the same time before. I keep swinging from standing by the window wanting to jump out to thinking I can fly out. I'm swinging from anger to fear to guilt to anxiety to laughing.

Right now, I feel that my positive is that I'm getting through each minute. Sorry to be miserable and self-focussed. Hoping my CPN can help tomorrow, but don't really see what she can do.

dontrun do you have the number for the crisis team? If you do give them or your cpn a ring, let them know how you're feeling.
Hope you feel a bit better soon. Xx

I'm all full of the positives today, I can see a big change in me, being completely modest I look amazing! Not only have i got into tiny for me jeans but when I updated my weight into my app it gave me a little fanfare to say well done, I'm not morbidly obese anymore, just obese now. Not far to go to overweight then normal. Going to start trying to excersise too, I want some of these endorphins I keep hearing about.

Hope everyone's feeling ok, and not too irritated by my chirping.

I bit the bullet and emailed ATOS to ask which group they've recommended. They said the support group, so as long as the DWP agree that's ok (don't need to go to the jobcentre which I would have in the work related activity group).

That sounds so good, spidey You're inspiring me to stick with it

Tell your CPN as much as you can, dontrun - could you ring her today to give a headsup rather than waiting til tomorrow?

Enjoy the concert, MP Is it the crowds that get to you?

Sounds like good news snowy.

It's definitely the crowds that get to me but at the moment I'm anxious about everything, even the train journey. I'm an idiot.

You're not an idiot! You've made plans about coping with the anxiety. Do you find slow deep breaths, or square breathing help when you're in the moment? Or mindfulness?

I find slow breathing from the diaphragm to be helpful when I remember to do it. Just waiting for DP to come home from work and we're off to the big city.

Enjoy the concert MP :) am nosy as to who you're seeing

What's square breathing please snowy?

Well enjoy

I'm seeing a band from my youth, don't want to say who on here as I've been yabbering about it to anyone who'd listen and I really, really can't afford to be outed.

That's cool MP I understand :)

You visualise a square, (or look at a window frame or computer monitor or anything roughly square).

Starting in the bottom LH corner, you move up the vertical line (counting 1, 2, 3, 4) as you breath in. When you get to the top LH corner you move right along the line, counting 1,2,3,4 and holding your breath. Then down (count 1,2,3,4) breathing out, then left (count 1,2,3,4) holding your breath.

You can vary the amount you're counting, some people find they have to count fast when trying this.

Does that make sense?

It's easier to understand with a diagram.