Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

[fluffydressinggown]

Shiny new thread. xx

Haha vicar that makes me think of the Giggloop - from one of my favourite comedies, Coupling. Where you laugh more when you think about how utterly inappropriate it would be to laugh.

Thanks for the book info - sounds fab and I've put it on my wishlist. I'm enjoying reading the junior/teen fiction but looking forward to reading some more grown up stuff again. Needless to say working in a library there is no shortage of inspiration! And if I've learnt anything from having this reading list it is that I can fit a lot more reading into my day if I prioritise it over MNing :o

Today has been crap - well particularly after school. DCs been stroppy as hell, really screaming and hitting :( I honestly don't feel fit to be a parent right now. And to make matters worse DH has an area meeting tomorrow and won't be back til really late :(

Love all these positives :)

I'm going to have a nice bubble bath and an early night

Thanks for the welcomes.

FDG--sorry you're in hospital. It sucks.

My positive: I went for not 1, but 2, lovely walks in the Autumn sun.

I need to get up the courage to ring my CPN tomorrow as my mood is all over the place. I fly to the US for work in two weeks. I need to be well.

I enjoyed your post Vicard! :)

spidey....i dont know if many people know but i started these very threads back in nov 2012 under a different user name.
when i felt well i found i didnt need the threads so much so i stopped posting and by that time they have taken on a life of their own and i was so proud and so glad that people were getting something from them.

i didnt post for a while.
then i came back. the threads are a positive - a source of support and comradery for anyone suffering, or recovering, or recovered...from mental illness.

please remember that....im back because the threads arent just there only for when we feel ill.

i hardly post any more on anything these days. but i will always still pop on these threads - they are my MN babies....even though in reality ive let them grow up and move out and begin a whole new life of their own!

i love what these threads stand for, and im proud of them. Dont ever feel that because you are feeling well you cant or shouldnt post....because that would effectively mean id have to stop posting on the threads i began all those months ago now....
and why the heck should i do that!? they are useful and while they serve a purpose for anyone then ill be here. posting away with my silly tales and ups and downs.
thats life isnt it....sometimes our health is good, sometimes its not. the threads though are a constant companion.
as is everyone on them.
nananina was i think the first person to post back when i began these threads....gradually others joined and it became a lovely supportive community.
i like to think it still is - no matter what.
anyone can join....its not an exclusive club!

Hi all, I'm just popping in really quickly to say hello, because I've been reading from afar and thinking of you all. I hope you are all doing OK, and just to let you know that I'm rooting for all of you my increased dose of setraline and a bit if a valuim has helped me a lot, I'm making very slow and steady progress toward a little calm. Won't post again, just wanted to send thoughts.

Thank you vicard and everyone else I shall hang around and check in.
I'm Feeling a bit sad this morning because Dh has gone to work and won't be home till tomorrow night, then he's only back one night before he's off again.
It's great that his new job is going well and he is making a lot more money than before but I'm not overly happy when he goes off over night.
I'm trying to be positive about it I can watch whatever I want on tv (except gbbo because he "doesn't like it but will watch it with me") I might have a little cheat on the diet or catch up with the ironing.
I can even do a bit of work to my new etsy shop I thou if I'm going to make millions of crochet things because it's relaxing and helps me stay calm then rather than having piles of stuff everywhere I might as well try to sell some.
Had bad dreams again last night about the greenhouse again. Then I woke up to "His" voice shouting at me. Once I'd started getting Ds up and getting busy he's gone quiet but it's annoying, However calm and settled I seem to be during the day once I go to sleep it all sneaks back in.

Positive though, parents evening at school, mil is coming with me and I haven't had a panic attack in a few days.

Glad things are improving loveisashadow

Feeling disgruntled this morning. Got an email about a job vacancy via parent mail, it's at the other infant school. Parent friendly hours and something I'd like to do in the future. I can't apply though - not when I'm this ill, mid-relapse. I also don't think I can do even the tiny increase of hours (although the term time only aspect is appealing) as it's every day rather than 3x a week and there's no chance to rest. So I've decided against it - I should just shrug it off but I feel really frustrated and sad now even though I know it's safer to stay where I am for a few more years (we have spoken about having DC3 although now I'm relapsing I'm wondering if I've been stupid to get my hopes up :(). And I need to remember I'm only 27 - plenty of time for a career yet, right? Right?!?

fuzz it's hard but it's more important that you get all better first then when everything is in the right place and maybe even dc3 jealous I can't have anymore everything will suddenly turn around and you will find the perfect job.
It might've been what you think you want now but you possibly wouldn't have enjoyed it iyswim?

Vicard, I'm proper at bobby the dog. It's really made me chuckle his morning. I've also treated myself to that book on my kindle. Have you ever read "The Shock of the Fall" ? I forget who it's by, but it won an award and it's absolutely brilliant.

I'm doing a bit better at the moment. I got a lot done in the house yesterday, which was positive and I actually got a decent nights sleep, which always makes the world a better place.

The sun is shining and as I'm still in bed, I really ought to shift my backside and get to it again. Have a good day everyone.

Another positive! I've lost another lb and am under 15stone for the first time in years.
Still hoping no one notices too much though, I don't want to relapse again.

I'm only 5ft1so I'm still fat, just not quite as fat as before. Dh is loosing loads and is down to 18st and has agreed to grow his beard back.

Snowymouse: I have two under fives... If I would be childless I would throw olanzapine to the bin, but now I cant afford to be ill. Before dcs I used to be more extravagant... Last night was good and I went to bed early. But I am going to ask to go back to lower dose, because this what I am taking now makes me too dopey.

Fuzzbig: you have plenty of time to have a career. Some older people have changed their career paths successfully.

Morning everyone.

Spideysense--it must be hard being on your own. The roles are reversed for me and I do feel very guilty for leaving DH to cope on his own. Glad you've had a break from panic attacks; they're vile.

FuzzpigI think work can really help with MH, but it can also really drag you down if it's the wrong time. 27 is youngother opportunities will come around. Better to be honest with yourself than to have to dig yourself out of a hole.

Keema--it's beautiful weather here, too. I love September. (I'm also a weirdo in living the winter, too.)

OK, my positive is that I've lost 2lb.

But, jeez, I'm so ridiculously tired that I feel sick. I'm trying to work, but I might as well bang my head against a brick wall. I'm giving it an hour and then I'll have to crawl back into bed for a while.

I got up the courage to ring my CPN, but she wasn't available so I'm waiting for a call back. I hate waiting around for calls. She's generally called me back the same day, but sometimes has taken a day or two. Chances are she'll ring as soon as I fall asleep.

Whoops, sorry, missed collar and somethingvicard--morning!

That's it, I have to go back to bed. Perhaps an hour's sleep will let me be a bit more productive for the rest of the day.

keema i think you have mentioned that book to me before - im going to make it my next amazon purchase.

afternoon everyone. id best go and get ready for work - but hope everyone is ok. My boiler has been on the blink for 3 weeks so im bracing myself for a cold shower.....should be fixed on friday. (hopefully!)

The shock of the fall is another one on my to-read list :)

I'm panicking big style. Just had a letter from HMRC saying they're investigating us because they didn't have our correct income - £26k instead of £11k as it was previously. I don't understand why this is the case as DH had phoned them up and filled out info etc.

I'm scared - this could mean a huge bill including penalty and also current tax credits, which we are scraping by on, reducing massively. The phone line is engaged and I'm putting all my energy into not becoming a quivering heap :(

Hello.

Still hoping to come off constants today, fingers crossed I see the doctor soon.

My positive - I saw my friend which was nice.

Feeling a bit flat today, bit scared about dying but there we go.

I hope you see the doctor today, fluffy Are you well enough to come off constants?

Oh ((( fuzzpig ))) Have you got through? You must be feeling awful.

I hope work goes well, vicar - rubbish about the hot water.

Congrats on the weight loss, dontrun and spidey I'm not weighing myself, going by how my clothes feel instead.

Fair enough thornbird - med side effects are a horrible balancing act .

Have you got down to doing things, keema?

Collardove it's not low calorie popcorn as such, more that popcorn is relatively low calorie.

How are things, NN, CiQ and silvery? (and anyone I've forgotten)

Thanks snowy I did get through just now after a couple of horrible panicky hours. Turns out to be a storm in a teacup and it was just that they hadn't officially recalculated themselves! Because the income last year was waaaay lower. So there's not a bill and we aren't in trouble. It does mean that TC payments will go down though so that's a bugger.

It does give a perfect example of how my anxiety spirals out of control so fast!

It does give me my positive for today though - the fact I made that phonecall. I like many of you have mentioned have HUGE difficulty making calls at all let alone scary financial stuff! Even totally innocuous errands - like booking a birthday party for DS which I finally did... one month late - have me in a flustered panicky state. But I DID IT!!! So that's my positive today :)

On constants until at least Friday too high risk ahhhhhh!!!

I think anyone's anxious with officialdom, must be even worse if you already get anxiety. Well done on making the call!

Oh dear fluffy have you made a decision about the meds?

Hello folks - can't "reach out" to others today - mega crap day. Very unusually I got angry and stomped about this morning (and scared the cats) who sleep on my bed all day....thumped the pillows and scratched my arms but only lightly (not as in self harm) and there aren't any marks. I think I was more frustrated than angry because the crap days have returned and I was just getting used to the long run of good days and was secretly making plans in my head for a holiday and well doing something useful with my time. DP was supportive and I eventually wore myself out.

BUT I made myself go for a walk on the park (only at the top of the road) and sat on a seat in the glorious late afternoon sun and watched the kids playing on bikes and squirrels chasing around the trees. I remembered sitting on the same seat 20 years ago this month, which was when my dearest friend died on cancer at the age of 46 and which started my mental health problems. Sorry this is supposed to be my one positive thing............it did lift my spirits a bit, and evening are quite often better.

Sorry to be so self absorbed. Fuzzpig I just noticed you are only 27 - a mere child (!) and I feel bad for moaning when I have had my 3 score years and 10 and should just be thankful I was in my 60s when I relapsed and not young women/mothers like so many of you.

Really space-y today, however one good thing is that dinner will be easy and delicious thanks to the wonder of a baked potato done in the slow cooker.