Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

[fluffydressinggown]

Shiny new thread. xx

I'm wondering if people mind if I join? I could do with a bit of 'company.' Bipolar II diagnosed 4.5 years ago after DD2--I'm just struggling a wee bit at the moment and feeling a bit alone.

I agree wholeheartedly with Keema

Thanks NN I guess it's just like anyone else really, you keep going because you have to, until you (literally or metaphorically) fall over anyway. :o

It's funny you say that about feeling like you shouldn't complain, I feel that way too (eg at work I don't feel I should talk about my symptoms anymore because our manager is seriously ill). Maybe we all do to some extent? Maybe it's because we don't feel like we are worth sympathy? It's something I've been pondering lately, how I've always felt different and inferior. Not in the child/teen "I need to fit in by having the same stuff" peer pressure type way, I was never really aware of that and at college was in a great group of misfits, and comfortable with my geeky interests :) but just always felt... like I wasn't as good as other people. Like there is something fundamentally wrong with me, and I'm defective. I don't know why I feel like that and when I try to redress it I am scared of being too overconfident!

Welcome dontrun :)

Spidey I totally agree with Keema - of course you should stay. I'm already feeling at home here, this is wonderfully inclusive :)

Vicar I am so glad you had a great time at the retreat! It does sound really tempting!

I am nosy curious, what book are you reading? In fact what books are everyone reading? I love a good book chat :o I've been doing reading for work this month, I have to read some child/teen books that have been nominated for some awards. It's been really nice to have something to focus on as I am making notes for the discussion group. Sorry if I mentioned this before BTW I can't remember, brain fog!

I did something positive today - on the way back from dropping DD at school I walked across the park field instead of round it, and sat on the bench reading for a bit before walking home. Mostly for a physical rest, but it was very quiet and peaceful, misty and sunny, dewy grass. I'm going to make a habit of it while the weather allows :)

Hi dontrun nice to see you here

Keema is exactly right we should have some positiveness on this thread

I am a level 2 - washed and dressed and wearing a top that used to be too small for me, so that is my positive. I am currently reading a book called 'Miracle on Regent's Street' it's a Christmas book but it is an easy read.

Been told I am likely to be put on a depo injection reguardless of if I start to take my meds because I have refused them for too long. Bit worried. Hopefully seeing Dr tomorrow.

Sorry things are still so crap NN I hope things pick up for you super soon xx

Oh and yes, I can (and do) sit outside in the garden, mostly to smoke tbh but there we go.

Welcome dontrun Sorry I missed your post.

Oh dear fluffy I hope that you get a resolution. Would you have the depo willingly? (worried as I've seen people given it forcefully).

Hi all. I'm decluttering at the moment, something that exceptionally hard for a hoarder like me. It's been ok so far, but the. I decided to tackle under the bed.

I now know why I can never find any socks. They were living in a commune under the bed and there's too many for my sock drawer, so I'm going to have to cull some perfectly healthy pairs of socks.

I'm hoping my care co calls me this afternoon. Having a wobble about throwing dusty socks out is ridiculous.

Anyone need some socks?

I have about a zillion pairs of socks (and I don't even need them today as I am in tights!) but I can relate to being reluctant to chuck them out. Good for you for decluttering :)

It must be national de-cluttering day as I've had a major attack on both summer and winter wardrobes. I'll have to go shopping when I'm feeling better as I seem to be very low on work clothes. I still have about 12 million shirts and a gazillion pairs of shoes though.

I was wondering if it'd be helpful to try to get everyone on here to try to post one thing a day that is a positive thing? Wouldn't have to be anything big but maybe even "I had a nice cup of tea"or "I managed to get out of bed"
Try to get everyone to think positively just a little?

I'll start spidey.

I am washed, dressed and, even more impressively, fed. Today is not a bad day at all.

I'll add mine, we've been to the travel agents and we found a brilliant week in t'egypt. In May which we can afford. Might be good we've never had a proper holiday before.

I had some nice, low-calorie popcorn

Good I am tired. Youngest one woke up twice last night and both dcs were up before six. Olanzapine makes me so tired. At least my appetite hasn't increased on it.

I have successfully removed more bathroom wallpaper. I may even get around to painting it this month

Oh dear thornbird, how old are they? Do they go to bed early? (i.e. any chance for a nap/more sleep for you).

CPN was talking about doing a CPA, I need to have a look at rethink/mind website and see what it is. On the positive side she remembered my meds this week, forgot last week.

I will add mine Spidey - I think my job interview went quite well! :)

Popping in to offer my support. Fluffy you seem more positive? Ive been worried.

Have a nasty cold. Have been working today cleaning a house pre rental. How some landlords get away with how they rent places is beyond me

Sounds hopeful, Collardove.

My day was much better today than yesterday. Actually did some teaching instead of just crowd control.

I'm wondering why I don't feel less sad when I'm on maximum dosage of ADs. Surely they should have some effect on my brain chemistry?

Welcome don'trun I've see you on other MH threads but there's lots of support here. Fuzzpig your walk and sit on the park sound nice.

Hi Fluffy and thanks for joining the "positive comment a day" club! Mind it isn't very positive that you're still not taking the meds! Do you mind the injection?

Keema I live with a hoarder and my CPN says it's been classified as a mental illness now but she won't add him to her caseload! It's part of OCD I think and my DP has all the classic habits - buys lots of containers to put stuff in but never puts anything in - gets agitated if anyone touches his "stuff" (especially me...) - doesn't like being in a mess but overwhelmed so does nothing about it. If I try to help an argument breaks out in the first few minutes as he really can't bear me touching his stuff - he's convinced I'm going to throw it away. SO the cellar is full, the loft is full, one of the downstairs rooms is full and his bedroom is chokha block......(we have separate rooms and I love my own bedroom) The sitting room we share - I have to keep a close eye on his shelf which is next to the sofa he sits on (we have our own sofas too!) as it soon gets cluttered and I tell him to clear it up (this usually involves taking a pile of papers and god knows what else into the other room) I am by no means a control freak when it comes to tidiness and can stand a fair bit if untidiness but not the sort of clutter that DP accumulates. Friends ask what he collects, but that's the wrong question - its "what does he throw away" A: "nothing" - junk mail, receipts, letters/envelopes, screws, nails, elastic bands, piles of paper, pens, pencils, maps etc etc. The shelf is a book shelf but he manages to pile all this stuff in front of the books. He can never find anything and this causes him a fair amount of upset. So long as I can't see it, I don't care.

Perversely he is obsessive about his clothes, and hates any spot or mark on his shirts or trousers and it takes him about 15 mins to iron one shirt. He hates and is absolutely distraught if he loses a sock! I have got to the stage where I don't put his socks in the washer any more because everyone knows socks always get separated from their partner - it's one of the mysteries of life I reckon. I used to bundle up any odd socks and then chuck them when he wasn't around and he's got so many pairs he never noticed. Ah Keema your odd socks were probably very happy in their commune under the bed......which reminds me we went to a 50th birthday party earlier in the year and it was held in a big house in Aberdovey - a great weekend and lots of walks on the beach and beyond for the more energetic. We were one of the last to leave and DP found a stray sock in the hall way (a thick walking sock) and he took it and tried very hard to find the owner, e mails and phone calls galore but the owner didn't come forward! I told him most people just wouldn't care but he wasn't able to understand that and I kid you not that sock is still in the back of his car, SO if anyone is short of a thick red walking sock please get in touch!

Sorry sorry sorry - I got a bit carried away there.

Snowy I love popcorn - so like the sound of low calorie popcorn. What's CPA by the way? Did you decided about having someone to help you get "out and about" or not?

That's brill news collardove when will you know?

Agree with the positive comment which is easy for me today as my mood lifted about 2.00 and I phoned a friend and was on the phone for ages and then went outside and found another friend in the garden with DP so joined them for coffee and cake and a chat.

Wondering how you got on with your Care co Keema

Well done with that bathroom wallpaper Victrix

Hi to everyone else ..................x

I have made 2 phone calls re work that needs doing on the house - well, left messages. I've been putting this off for a month!

Glad to hear the interview went well collar

pare is there some external reason why you might feel sad? Are the ADs helping you cope, despite your mood iyswim? Or maybe they aren't the right ones for you...

CPA sounds a little intimidating - my old psych had as few people in the room as possible, my new one not so.

Glad your day is better, Pare

Sounds busy, LEM - I hope it's not too horrible.

I'm glad the interview went well, collar - fingers crossed!

I find it hard to make phone calls, Silvery

There is a traumatic event in my past, yes, but that looms larger when I feel depressed as opposed to causing the depression if that makes sense? I don't know if they are helping me cope, I do a lot of pretending all day then I come home and just feel so sad and alone. I've tried lots of ADs in the past and none of them seem to make much difference.

It's my birthday tomorrow, which I don't celebrate because it was also my father's birthday and he's now dead, and the traumatic event happened on my birthday. I would quite like to sleep through until Thursday.

evening everyone.

fuzzpig the book is called The Girl With all the Gifts - link coming up
linky!

its very gripping and i cant put it down - i will be sad when its gone - im turning the tv off on a night and just reading.

my positives - and im feeling quite positive at the moment so spidey you are not alone in not feeling crap...

1. the meditation im doing now daily is having a wonderful calming effect
2. ive had a very good day at work today and i like my new colleagues a lot. ive worked very hard today just going from job to job to job but ive enjoyed it.
3. im enjoying my book very much, even managing to read a bit at lunch time as i was alone in the canteen.

ive just got in so am going for a meditate now before tea!

collar - fingers crossed for you on the interview front - glad it went well.

nana - i have a really funny story about the retreat - now im not into the whole religious thing either but this was mainly instruction on how to meditate with a bit of why you should thrown in, in a very tranquil beautiful country house surrounded by woodland, lakes and nature.
anyway...on the evening of the saturday night we should have had a choice of a Q&A session OR sitting in on the service held weekly with the chanted prayers etc....only in the end the Q&A session got cancelled so we all ended up in the chanted prayer service - along with members of the public.
So....
I had made friends with the other lady who was very lovely and we sort of stuck together a bit during the whole thing - we walked together, and sat together at meals etc. she was lovely and we got on like a house on fire.
on the sat night service we sat at the back....it was a bit boring but we were getting through it....when this bloke who had just come to the service began to read a prayer and dedications out to those who were suffering - so he begins to read this list of names out and what was wrong....it was quite sombre and some of them were quite sad....so and so who died recently, so and so who lost someone to illness, etc etc when all of a sudden he threw in this curve ball....in the midst of the really sad stuff he says "and to Bobby the dog who can only move his two front legs".....then another sad one, then something about a cat...
only by the time he got to the cat my hearing had gone because i had lost it completely - dissolved in silent hysterics....made worse by the fact that my friend next to me had gone as well....she was hiding her face in her hands and all i could see were her shoulders going....
i could hardly breathe - my glasses were steamed up from trying so desperately not to laugh....i ended up hiding in my scarf....and i just could not stop laughing. truly it was both hysterical and awful at the same time - the whole room was silent and all you could hear was me making strangulated mutley like noises at the back.
i wanted the ground to open and swallow me but there was nothing i could do - i was helpless.
i actually cried all my make up off laughing.

after the service the lovely man reading them out came over and asked what had set us off...
i told him
he was so gracious and lovely and said "weve all been there so dont worry - come and join the party!" - they have a party after the service with food offerings - only they get eaten which is quite nice!

it really was the most ive laughed in a long long time.....and i was so glad i wasnt on my own....however it appeared that only me and my friend found it so completely hysterical that we couldnt suppress the laughter!

im planning to go back next year! ive asked my friend if she fancies it too - we are staying in touch - which is lovely. the whole place was lovely.

sorry for the mammoth essay but i thought the funny story was worth posting!