Autumn days in the village with lots of support for all kinds of MH problems - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis etc

[fluffydressinggown]

Shiny new thread. xx

Morning all,
Terrible night with DD with her being sick so she is off school today hopefully she'll b happy watching her cartoons in bed with me as neither one of us has slept much. I had so much to do today so have just re-arranged all my appts and already I'm out of energy.

fluffy glad to hear u got some sleep what do you have planned today?

Waves at keema nethuns collar and offers with I need a pick me up already.

Good morning! to everyone for a lovely welcome. When I get the time I'm going to read back through and try to get a handle on who everyone is, but I'm too tired right now.

I forgot to take my rispiridone at bedtime last night so had loads of weird dreams, and I've been awake since 4am even with my amitryptaline (which I take for nerve pain but it's at therapeutic levels for depression too) and sertraline.

Everyone is off to school/work (I've dd1, ds, dd2 who are 14, 12 and 10) so it's just me, the cats and the rabbit and I'm doing my best relaxation exercise - knitting! It keeps my mind occupied. But dh is off work and dc off school Thursday & Friday (school closed tomorrow as a polling station in the Scottish referendum, so they're taking it as an in-service day along with Friday) and dh was able to get cover so he's off too. We're planning on making a camping-in-the-lounge night of it tomorrow! Dc are all big enough to have an opinion on it, so it should be good fun.

I find being alone at home pretty hard (I can't work at the moment) and I'm even more restricted with my broken leg. But I've set myself a goal for today, I'm going to knit 6 hairbands as dd1 and I are doing a craft fair before Christmas and I need to stock up on them. And when she gets in from school we are dyeing her hair. And I'm going to have youtube going on the iPad and listen to sciencey documentaries about black holes etc! And I have to make a curry for tea.

We'll see if I get that far, I'm pretty tired. But always worth having a goal!

I am seeing my cpn today, feel nervous for some reason. Trying to distract, hada bit of a melt down last night. Feel like I have to keep this front on that everything is ok, when it really really isn't. I am locked up here when I don't need to be :(

Feel like I have to keep this front on that everything is ok, when it really really isn't. I am locked up here when I don't need to be

Isn't that bit controversial? You know you are poorly but then you state you don't need to in hospital.

I have MH problems yes, but this isn't poorlyness this is destiny. I know I am not psychotic so I don't need to be here.

Hello All - I can see some of you are worrying that the thread is going to de-rail again. Just to let you know I sent a long PM to Katkins/Shadow last night. I was very honest and tried very hard to help her to understand that the essence of psychosis is that the sufferer is out of touch with reality and so will not believe they are mentally ill. Likewise when people are having delusional thoughts they aren't able to "label" them as such because they actually believe in the delusion. And that's what it is - a delusion.

I tried to strike the right balance between being honest and not unkind, and to her credit she has taken it on board. She says she is blocking the thread as she realises it isn't doing her or anyone else any good. I'm sure we will all wish her well and hope that she does find support elsewhere, as we are all struggling in one way or another with our mental health. I just hope that she is as good as her word this time and does leave the thread.

Fluffy I know that you believe that god has a plan for you and it's your destiny and that must be very scary for you. We don't think that's the case and neither will the nurses in the hospital, but they too will realise that it is your illness that is making you have these thoughts. Hope you can distract yourself today - is there anywhere you can sit outside? When I was an IP I was fortunate as the psych wards were relatively new builds (a series of bungalows) with separate bedrooms and a nice little outdoor garden where we could sit in fine weather. I used to spend a lot of time out there even when it was not so warm, just wore a few layers.

I'm not feeling so good today - sort of flat and empty (ish) which is how depression makes me feel. I usually pick up through the day though. Hope everyone else is having a reasonable day.

Why do they think you are psychotic fluffy?

The maths was very hard LEM - hopefully it'll get easier as I get back into it, I think part of it is my rubbish concentration.

It's a pity there's no option to hide a poster, keema.

Thanks for the update NN, I hope she finds support somewhere else too - maybe she could start her own thread.

I have slept for 14 hours.

It is a September miracle

I'm away to write down what I need to tell my GP.

Hope today is good for everyone

Thanks for the update nana x
14 hours sounds fantastic,!!
Snowy, hugs to you, take the meds, hang in there.
Hi to everyone!
I'm feeling crap as per. I'm not in a good way and kind of feel I'm so broken that I cannot ever imagine being ok again?! Horrible. I'm so tired / drained. And worried. I don't exhibit anxiety but I bloody well feel it!

Saw my cpn she also said I was psychotic and lacked insight which is hard to hear from someone who knows you so well. I know you are probably thinking I am but I'm not. I'm not hearing voices and everything makes sense. Please don't hate me for this im not lying. I know you think I'm stupid but it's so hard being here when I don't need to be.

I don't think you are psychotic :). I feel the connection, too, at the moment. Can you turn your connection to something good instead?

Fluffy - we absolutely don't think you are stupid, and we know you don't believe you should be in hospital. We know that you aren't lying either, but there is a reason they need you to stay in hospital - so that you are safe. I know it's boring and frustrating when you don't feel you need to be there. And why would we hate you - we're here to support you x

Any good distractions today??

Glad you had a good sleep Victrix

Nethun sorry you are feeling so crap - my CPN told me that one of the symptoms of depression is believing that you won't ever get well again. Are you getting the right meds and right dosage?

Been waiting for my crapness to lift but it's not shifting today - bugger!

Nobody hates you or thinks you are lying, fluffy Do try to take the meds.

I'm sorry that things aren't lifting for you today, NN I hope things get better later on.

I'm trying to do the Maths again, I don't think that 9 hours/week is realistic, it's going to take much longer. I suppose that it might be because I can't handwrite so I need to point and click on the computer.

He's bitten again, he was so good this morning then he's ruined it all. He's shut in his bedroom, partly so he can think about it and partly because I'm fucking ragin an I don't trust myself. He's bitten an older boy so badly his parents have had to collect him to take him to minor injuries to have his arm dressed.
I'm obviously a shit mother, he'd probably be better off if I dropped him off outside a smack heads house and left them to raise him.

(((( spidey )))) You are not a shit mother. Lots of kids go through a biting phase - I bet if you started a thread in behaviour or chat lots of people would have similar stories.

I mustve done something wrong, maybe I loved him too much? Maybe I spoiled him with love or maybe I'm a horrible person and he's learnt to be nasty from me?
It's probably a good thing I can't have anymore kids I've fucked up one life it wouldn't b fair to let me influence another.
Maybe I should just go and maybe Dh will find a new wife who can be a proper mother.

Oh spidey you are not a shit mum at all. Have the nursery offered help with this? What have THEY done about preventing this? He is after all in their care when it happens.

Have you taken your meds yet fluffy?

I really doubt it spidey. DD was a biter too, she didn't stop until someone DH bit her back. What consequences does he have when he bites? Can you do a reward chart over the week and at the end, if he has been nice to the other children every day (I.e. Not bitten anyone) he has a reward -activity/iPad time/choose a film to watch etc

Will try and catch up later, been masquerading under another name to ask for help about my DS!

How old is he spidey?

nana thanks for the update. Are you feeling any better now?

((( nethuns ))) sorry u feel crap. Have you done anything to cheer urself up?

victrix wow now that is the kind of sleep I need tonight

fluffy I echo what everyone is saying no one thinks ur lying and way far from hating u. We're just worried about u. I do hope u change ur mind about taking the meds.

thorn sorry I don't know ur back story so haven't really understood what u mean about feeling the connection. Hope it having a ok afternoon.

spidey ur absolutely not a shit parent. I felt like that yesterday with the dentist visit. Our kids will throw lots of challenges our way so were just going to need to develop thick skin if were ever going to survive (((hugs))) plus having stick of diazepam helps

snowy hope the maths has been a good distraction today

How is everyone else doing? lem
vicar keema collar weegie & anyone else I've forgotten - sorry my brain is really tired today after no sleep.

So what's everyone having for dinner? It's going to be a take out for us tonight thinking Indian

Take away here too, just ordered pizza (half pepperoni, half chicken and bacon).

I've also managed to do an online shop for tomorrow, first time I've done that on time for ages (been subsisting on toast).

Oh spidey you are not a bad Mum at all, your DS is just going through a phase.

at your sleep victrix

Sorry you are having a bad day nana

Still on constants. PICU being discussed. Fuck fuck fuck.

I don't have the words for how scared I am.

Also discussing a section 3 and medication via injection. I am thinking hard about the meds, we shall see.