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Baby 8 days ago, now can't stop crying

169 replies

MrsPixieMoo · 13/08/2014 20:12

I had a DD (my second child) by ELCS 8 days ago. Was a tough pregnancy during which I was on treatment for recurrent miscarriages. I had two miscarriages in six months last year and was quite low but my mood was good during the pregnancy. Since Saturday I can't stop crying. My DH says these are just baby blues, that I'm fine, that the world doesn't stop just because I feel like this, none of which has helped. I love my DD, am breastfeeding and awake a lot with her but I am scared of feeling so low. Just want to reach out and get some support tonight. My DH has gone to an important work thing. Nothing stops for his work and it was important he went but I would have loved a hug or some comforting words before he went. I hate feeling so needy. I can't walk far yet and need him to drive me to places. Today he was meant to drive me to the GP but he went out and forgot and told me off for not reminding him. I had been reminding him since Monday and twice today. He is tired too but I feel so alone and let down and scared of feeling so dark at what should be a very happy time.

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middlings · 20/08/2014 22:06

Oh well done for sitting down and having a proper chat. It's such a stressful time in some ways. Enjoy your spa weekend!

MrsPixieMoo · 21/08/2014 08:38

Thank you. It was good to talk. He's finding it hard to see my POV on lots of things but also admitted he's used to doing his own thing, his way and hasn't been good at involving me in decisions and plans. He was serving overseas for the first 8 months of DD1s life ( I had a live in au pair who helped me so much at that time).

He's also been a bit tearful and talked about how worried he was something would go wrong and how happy he is that the baby and I are ok.

On a totally unrelated note, I have found about 100 jam jars in an outside storage shed. We have so many blackberries locally, I'm going to pick them with DD1 and go for some walks with the buggy and then make jam.

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MrsPixieMoo · 21/08/2014 08:40

Coldcottage wow, those spas are gorgeous to look at and provided some welcome distraction.

I've seen Danesfield House at a third off on Secret Escapes with under 5s free so I think that's the one for us. I don't know how to do links on my phone but have a google.

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ColdCottage · 21/08/2014 10:27

Danesfield House is near Henley which is a lovely town to look around with a choice of places to eat which keeps costs down as hotel restaurants are a bit costly to eat in every night.

When choosing a spa hotel I have two tips. Before you book call up the spa and find out what the spa is made up of, as in what is included which doesn't require extra money. Usually you get pool and sauna, but find out if they have a jacuzzi, ice room, jet pool, steam room, outdoor pool etc which makes it more fun. Some just have the basics which means you have to spend loads to get much from it.

Secondly once you've booked the hotel, call the spa and book any treatments straight away so you can have them when you want rather than just squeezing them in.

If you are around the Henley area and don't want to travel but have some cash, take a look at Cliveden, it has a nice spa, not loads going on, just a pool and saunas but has lovely hot tubs outside which are these cool wooden ones. They also have an outdoor pool, all enclosed in a beautiful walled garden.

They have a super posh restaurant but the saloon style club house is a lovely place to grab a club sandwich or a simple hot meal. So cool, the bar stools are old saddles.

Lovely gardens too as national trust.

MrsPixieMoo · 21/08/2014 12:53

Ooh Cliveden looks lush. Thanks for cheering me up. Do you know if I can take my DDs, even if not allowed into spa itself?

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MrsPixieMoo · 21/08/2014 14:50

Had a hairdresser come to the house today and got DH to take me to the park on one of his big walks. Sat in cafe with DD2. Was good to get out.

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LittleBearPad · 21/08/2014 15:19
Thanks I'm so pleased that things are getting better. You should be proud of yourself.
MrsPixieMoo · 21/08/2014 15:27

Thank you Thanks

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ColdCottage · 21/08/2014 16:48

Yes you can take children to the hotel, their was a baby in the fancy restaurant when I was there.

ColdCottage · 21/08/2014 16:48

Oops there!

ColdCottage · 22/08/2014 23:19

How did today go?

I'm back from the in laws. Nice to be home. Not the break I thought it would be but we had a nice time.

Hope you have a nice relaxing bank holiday. Smile

MrsPixieMoo · 23/08/2014 08:17

It was a good day. Saw my cousin and her DCs.

You have a relaxing bank holiday weekend too. Thanks

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ColdCottage · 23/08/2014 10:18

Glad you had a good day Grin

Yes off to a BBQ today with my family and relatives over from the USA which will be lovely (with a divert to Aldi for nappies on route) then lazy Sunday and shopping for my friends wedding undies on Monday which should be fun. Hoping DS 4 months behaves Shock

Fingers crossed the sun stays out, always helps I think Smile

ColdCottage · 25/08/2014 08:19

How are you today? Good weekend after your chat with DH? Smile

MrsPixieMoo · 25/08/2014 08:41

A better weekend. We still bicker about everything that needs doing. I took the DDs on one of his walks. We did a short walk while he did a long one and yesterday his sister came, with two boxes of cakes, useful gifts, played with DD1, brought me drinks, was so lovely and helpful. I wish all visitors were half as helpful as her.

I'm going to write down all the things I need for myself eg someone to hold the baby so I can have a shower, so that he sees what I need and then we can make a plan for each day.

We are talking more which is good and he is doing a lot more. There's just so much to be done and I get very upset by him and DD1 being so untidy.

How are you?

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ColdCottage · 27/08/2014 00:02

Glad it's getting better, amazing how finding the best way to communicate helps so much.

I had a terrible night last night, was up 5 times then felt so ill this morning. Has to have DH look after DS mid feed at 4am so I could go to the loo (sorry tmi) then at 7.30am just had to let him cry. Thought I was sick? Along with tiredness it felt like when I just came home from hospital. Had no idea how I was going to get through today. Felt better after a while though.

Only made it downstairs by 1pm! He did have a nap on the bed with me cuddling him rather than downstairs in his pram which held things up.

I had planned to tidy and Hoover before nct friends arrived after lunch but no such luck and their houses always seem so tidy Hmm. Just the way it goes with a baby though.

One nct friend commented that she'd just had to leave the bits on the floor some days as that's just how it goes. Made me feel better as her house is so beautiful, just like a show home.

Hoping for a better night tonight. Jabs tomorrow, poor little mite has not idea.

x

MrsPixieMoo · 30/08/2014 19:18

Have PM'd you.

Just wanted to say a big thank you to all the MNetters who helped me through these past weeks. The odd sad day still, but I'm feeling so very much better and happier. DH has really pulled his finger out and is doing almost his share of the housework. Thanks for being there. I didn't have anyone in RL to talk to and you've made a big difference to me.

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LittleBearPad · 30/08/2014 21:39

So pleased that things are going better. Thanks

tobeabat · 31/08/2014 08:00

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