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Original poster

Baby 8 days ago, now can't stop crying

169 replies

MrsPixieMoo · 13/08/2014 20:12

I had a DD (my second child) by ELCS 8 days ago. Was a tough pregnancy during which I was on treatment for recurrent miscarriages. I had two miscarriages in six months last year and was quite low but my mood was good during the pregnancy. Since Saturday I can't stop crying. My DH says these are just baby blues, that I'm fine, that the world doesn't stop just because I feel like this, none of which has helped. I love my DD, am breastfeeding and awake a lot with her but I am scared of feeling so low. Just want to reach out and get some support tonight. My DH has gone to an important work thing. Nothing stops for his work and it was important he went but I would have loved a hug or some comforting words before he went. I hate feeling so needy. I can't walk far yet and need him to drive me to places. Today he was meant to drive me to the GP but he went out and forgot and told me off for not reminding him. I had been reminding him since Monday and twice today. He is tired too but I feel so alone and let down and scared of feeling so dark at what should be a very happy time.

OP posts:
tobeabat · 15/08/2014 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ColdCottage · 15/08/2014 11:33

So pleased to read your posts this morning.

What a difference 24h can make!

Have a lovely day and enjoy eating your cake! x

wewillmendit · 15/08/2014 13:04

What a lovely update Thanks

Good organising, it is small things that will help you to stay in control.
I hope things continue to improve for you.

LittleBearPad · 15/08/2014 13:27

I'm so pleased you sound more positive and yeah to the Welfare Officer.
I hope you have a good weekend. Flowers

Original poster
MrsPixieMoo · 15/08/2014 16:20

It's been a good day. DH drove me to mothercare. Can do simple things without feeling overwhelmed. Can't believe how much better I feel. Thanks all for your support Smile

OP posts:
ColdCottage · 15/08/2014 17:07

GrinGrinGrin

Original poster
MrsPixieMoo · 16/08/2014 13:36

A bit wobbly today. Not tearful but tired and irritable with DD1 and DH.

DD1 woke at 5am, refused to go back to her bed. I took her back to her room where she screamed so long and loud that the baby woke up. This happened repeatedly.

CS incision that was healing well is very sore and tender today and have been bleeding again after it stopped so am a bit worried and trying to take it easy. Feels as if it doesn't take much to derail me.

A good friend is having a big birthday party this afternoon. We are all going but I don't feel very sociable.

Feeling guilty for being cross with DD1. Frustrated when she doesn't listen or do as asked and really tired from night feeds which doesn't help.

DH on epic walk to town to buy birthday present but has taken DD1 with him. A good thing.

Sorry for rant, just needed to get it off my (ample, milk filled) chest.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPixieMoo · 16/08/2014 13:48

I struggle with simple things like not being able to get washing out of washing machine because bending hurts. This then gets me down. Does this happen to other people?

OP posts:
ColdCottage · 16/08/2014 13:55

Don't be tough on yourself or feel bad for asking for help.

I hurt my back after birth and still can't put the washing on the line. I couldn't look after DS alone for first 10 weeks of his life as I couldn't carry him. I had to get used to asking for help. It's odd when you feel you should be able to do it and you feel like you are putting on people but they don't see it like that.

Don't feel bad about not feeling in the party mood. Even if you hadn't got a new baby and had had an op or been unwell no one would expect you to be jumping around. You might feel better to talk and see some more people. You might even get offers of help Grin

Original poster
MrsPixieMoo · 16/08/2014 14:00

Thank you. It is hard asking for help. I've got DH but of he's out I struggle and feel silly for struggling.

DD1 was an emergency CS and I was on my own with her for eight months. I can't recall that it was this hard.

OP posts:
tobeabat · 16/08/2014 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ColdCottage · 16/08/2014 17:14

Remember you only had one DC then! Two is much harder.

StampyIsMyBoyfriend · 16/08/2014 19:01

Ummm.... you've just had major surgery! I'd be surprised if bending over etc wasn't hard!

Sounds like you're doing really well though, and there are rays of sunshine coming through those clouds.

LittleBearPad · 16/08/2014 20:15

It's not surprising that it doesn't take much to make you 'wobble' a bit. You've had surgery, you aren't getting much sleep, you've had a stressful pregnancy etc. The washing can sit in the machine a bit longer until DH comes home - in a few weeks it will be easier to move about and a few weeks after that easier still. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. Have a good evening.

ColdCottage · 17/08/2014 15:55

How are you doing today? Have you had a chance to sit in the sun? Will give you a happy boost Grin

Haggisfish · 17/08/2014 16:00

Yes to you've just had major surgery! Don't, fgs, attempt hoovering or pushing a trolley (you have no idea how often you bump it along with your tummy until it bloody hurts to do so! I could drive after two weeks, though-your insurance company usually says it's fine as long as you can emergency stop.

Original poster
MrsPixieMoo · 17/08/2014 18:00

Thank you. We had friends & family visiting this afternoon. Have just gone to lie down. Doing very little, still feeling very sore and am grumpy with DD1 and DH.

OP posts:
ColdCottage · 17/08/2014 23:05

Eat cake for breakfast and cuddle your DC in front of a good DVD. Monsters Inc is always a good adult and child one Grin

ColdCottage · 17/08/2014 23:06

Simple light hearted fun can just be enough to pick you up sometimes. Keep it simple and remember what an amazing job you are doing Smile

Original poster
MrsPixieMoo · 18/08/2014 08:16

Thanks very much. I will eat cake for breakfast, feel like doing something naughty and being more than a milk machine.

DD2 had had a big sleep this morning and I've had some time to cuddle DD1 and chat to her.

Feel daunted about everything I'm not doing but also so much better than I felt last week.

OP posts:
Annietheacrobat · 18/08/2014 09:22

So please to here that.

BTW are you pixie from the mosh pit thread?

Original poster
MrsPixieMoo · 18/08/2014 13:33

No, but the moshpit sounds cool. A different Pixie.

Finally registered with GP.

DH has been doing laundry and shrunk one of my three nursing dresses and my favourite cardigan and three nursing bras. Why does he think everything can be tumble dried? He is also massively grumpy as he is 'tired'.

DD having heaps of meltdowns.

Health visitor coming today.

Am really tired and not getting much done. Frustrating.

OP posts:
ColdCottage · 18/08/2014 13:48

Call a friend and have a moan. Eat more cake.

Tell hubby to wash everything on 40 and only tumble dry his clothes and the children's and your pants and jeans. In this weather he can hang the rest of the clothes.

Men I find work well with lists and clear instructions, as your DH is in the forces I imagine this will work very well for him.

Give him a list of things to tick of and do each day (can be written while on the loo or bf) or email them to him if you both have smart phones - though better if he can use a pen to tick off.

Maybe put an everyday action list on the fridge which he an run through each day plus a days of the week one for things like bins, shopping, dd's clubs etc.

Eat more cake Smile

Original poster
MrsPixieMoo · 18/08/2014 17:40

DH doesn't have a smart phone.

He's gone out for a walk again and I'm struggling to cook, entertain my DD2 who is spinning out and am endlessly feeding DD1.

I don't have anyone I can call.

DH's XDW made lists. When we met he made me promise never to make him a list. He doesn't 'see' what needs doing at home and is woefully undomesticated. I'm very house proud and the untidiness is really getting to me.

He had a nap this afternoon because he's tired. I feel really resentful of him at the moment. I wish I could have a nap or a bath without someone small needing me.

HV was lovely. Told me how well I'm doing. I told her about my tearful days and how I still feel wobbly. She told me it was normal and that I've got a lot of support.

OP posts:
ColdCottage · 18/08/2014 18:17

Perhaps you could explain that list would really help for the next couple of months to keep you all sane?

He is having a nap!?! He should be letting you have a nap. This is not really on and quite hurtful I imagine. Perhaps you could find a way of explaining that you need a nap over him as you are not only looking after the DC but making all the milk to feed dd2. You need the extra rest to help with this.

Did you speak to his mum? Have you managed to find a cleaner yet?

If you want to talk I am about tomorrow for a chat. Just pm me x