summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

[Pulledapart]

Thanku keema it's just bought back memories of his previous stroke which was devastating & left him paralysed in one side. I guess I'm fearing that will happen to his other side

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

That must be really scary for you, and the not knowing bit is the worst.
I'll be thinking of you.

[SnowyMouse]

A mini-stroke or TIA usually has transient symptoms, fingers crossed that's what he has.

[Katkins1]

(pulled). Thinking of you.

My head is all over the place.
I'm making plans to kill myself because I feel as though no-one wants me here. I've got a date set (this week) and two possible (almost foolproof) methods.
Falling out with people makes it ten times easier to do it.

[AmyMumsnet]

Hi Katniss,

We're really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. You might find some useful contacts here.

Wishing you all the best.

[ColouringInQueen]

katkins its hard for kids who have a parent with mh probs. But it us devastating for those kids whose parents commit suicide - abnd choose to leave them. I know your brain is telling you the opposite now but its not working properly. Please call your cpn/crisis team/samaritans and stay with us x

[fluffydressinggown]

Sorry to hear that pulled I will be thinking of you

I have managed to have some sneaky wees off constants today which has been marvellous, feel very twitchy and unsafe at the moment but can't tell anyone. Nobody understands my destiny.

katkins I will be sorry to see you leave this thread, if you are suicidal it is important to tell your CPN (I appreciate this is pot calling kettle black), please do take care.

[LEMmingaround]

Katkins please tell someone in rl you are heading for crisis and need help now. It matters not one fuck what label it has. Your dd needs you she really does. Come on honey. You have come so far - i know its really really shit but you have to keep yourself safe. We ALL value you on this thread. Not just someone who needs support but as a person who is caring and supportive. We are NOT going to lose you. You are our friend.

[LEMmingaround]

Fluffy stay safe. Xxx

[Victrix]

I didn't know how to say what I wanted but LEM has put it perfectly

I'm a bit wobbly but thinking of you all x

[Katkins1]

I'm not choosing to leave her, I'm choosing to free her of me.I've been looking up the best places to do it, and thinking about when. My cpn isn't bothered. None of them are. It's an experiment to test me, they are acting on sonething, I don't know what. One of my voices, some universal fate for me. It's gone beyond a test now, though. I feel like it's a bit if a game show, like The Trueman Show, I'm just being tested, to see what will happen next. Maybe people get to vote on it, who knows? As we have seen from this thread, there's hierarchy of mental health issues, and I don't fit into any of those; I'm not in the serious category, because I've avoided ip, you see. Therefore, I must be absolutely fine and my illness isn't pyschotic. Oh, and I'm not putting dd first. Only I am because I haven't got a plan b, or a dh, to look after her. Or me, for that matter. So, I'm stuck on my own. Not even knowing if what I have is real or I'm lying to get attention. I've found a way. Car park, lots of them in my city, or a train, maybe a level crossing. I can do it and be gone when dd is at school.

[Katkins1]

Fluffy, show the care team what you have just typed about your destiny.I'm sure they would want to know. It's highly unlikely you will get a chance to do anything, so look at another way:quicker you tell them, quicker you can get stable, get hone and wee in peace

[LEMmingaround]

Katkins look. Stop this now please. Please. I am really worried about you. Where is your dd now? You can stop this by telling someone. Your friend? A&E. Im out at the moment so finding it hard to post .

Please.

We can support you through this but you need urgent help NOW

[NanaNina]

Lem I don't think you (or anyone else for that matter) can speak for everyone on the thread. We all have our own opinions, we don't think collectively - do we?

[ColouringInQueen]

katkins I completely get that you think you're freeing her (I had exactly the same thoughts last year) but I promise you that is not how your dd will see it. Ring samaritans 08567 90 90 90

[SnowyMouse]

So what's everyone up to this evening? Chinese takeaway for me (chicken wings, garlic veges and singapore rice noodles). I also need to get my carer to write a notice to put on the kitchen door saying no breakfast for tomorrow morning (fasting blood tests).

[Katkins1]

Glad to see you think so little of me, nana. I'm not cross with you, I'm just upset that you misunderstood me and put your social worker hat on when you don't really know anything about the whole situation. That's all. Our sw has done nothing since dd has been back, not even family support. She's visited twice in six months. I've been planning to end my life for a while, I told the dr last week. That's why she upped my anti depressants. But you sounded do certain about my situation, and it wasn't quite right. It triggered me because I'm confused about my illness, too. The confusion as to what it is, in part, what prompts suicidal feelings. I don't want psychosis forever. I want my life back.

That sounds lovely, snowy. We had chips because I was feeling lazy.Then Dad very kindly reminded me it was my mum's birthday today. The mum that left me when I was 6, and never saw me again and let her partner abuse me for a year.

Maybe I'm just having a bad day.

[ColouringInQueen]

Marmite and butter on granary toast on the sofa

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

I've just had an amazing roast dinner. I'm now to full to do anything

[ColouringInQueen]

Yum we had roast pork for lunch. It's been a good food day!

[SnowyMouse]

Ooh, I love marmite on toast, I must buy some. I love roasts too - don't have them often as I live alone.

[Katkins1]

Me too, snowy. My dd only eats yorkshire puddings. I don't like the washing up after, so sometimes we go to the carvery ten minutes walk away as a treat. She eats more there.

[SnowyMouse]

That sounds nice.

[Katkins1]

It's alright. Has a kid's play area. Am trying to distract myself, but basically just making plans.

[fluffydressinggown]

I had a chicken kebab yummy.

Katkins things will get better I just don't understand why ur not on anti psychotics. You need them imo.

Watching X Factor and trying not to stress.