summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

[LEMmingaround]

Im never going to get better. I don't want to live anymore

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

lem.....it will and can get better sweetheart. This is a momentary thing....a thought that will pass.
trust me.

if you cant process it retreat to bed. sleep. relax. bow out for a while - but it will pass.
your dd needs you. you might not want to live - but it not about you once you have kids is it....

call the gp tomorrow. or cpn. or whoever is involved. you can, and you will get through this.

talk to us if it helps. x

[LEMmingaround]

Thank you. Have been feeling pretty crap last week or so. Need to make some positive changes it just all feels a bit relentless just now. But I will soldier on x

[Katkins1]

((Lem)) How are you feeling? Here if you want to talk

I'm struggling a bit myself- panic attacks are a new thing at the moment.

DD is coming back today and I've got absolutely loads to do to get ready as well. My house just seems to make work for me...

[LEMmingaround]

What is it with houses? Bloody things. Take one step at a time. Just make sure dinner is in fridge (or at the end of a telephone call !) Everything else can go to fuck. Just enjoy having your dd home. One day, one hour at a time. Don't put yourself under pressure. You are her mum and she will be happy to be home. There might be blips but isn't there always with kids. Iam struggling with holiday boredom with dd just now. Arrrgghhh.

[NatashaRostova]

Hi everyone, hope you are plodding on okay.

LEM, you are such a strong person even if you don't feel like it at the moment.

Katkins, I hope the panic attacks have subsided. Just look how far you have come.

My dog is unwell and it has sent me even further down today. He had cancer removed back in May but another lump has appeared over the weekend, a bit further on. Back to the vets tomorrow morning. Feeling very anxious and I've had to take some of my emergency diazepam stash.

[mosaicone]

Hello. Id like to join in, I really need some support at the moment :)

[SnowyMouse]

(((( LEM )))) Here for you.

Welcome mosaicone

[LEMmingaround]

Thakks guys. Feeling a little better. Still very down but able to function. Fortunately dd felt like having a lazy day so ive been able to take it easy.

Snowy you have had a rough few days:(

Mosaic hello. Welcome to the village. Do feel free to share what you're struggling with. Lots of experience and support here. If yoh dont want to share thats fine too. Have a and dome and make yourself at home

[Katkins1]

Hi mosaic.
Glad you are feeling a bit better, Lem
I went to my gp today, for my regular medication having being discharged from the home treatment team. I asked about something for anxiety, so I've got propanol to help with the physical side effects.
I was crying today, and I mean crying so much that I had to bite the pillows to stop my neighboure is from hearing me crying.Im just do ashamed of how I behaved. The crying eased the anxiety though.
The social worker wants to talk to little one tommorow, and then hopefully she can come home.

The gp said I'm not fully better yet, and that I need to give it time.It's taking a lot longer than I thought.

[Victrix]

Hi all.

Currently lying on the bathroom floor because something I've eaten doesn't seem to like me. Breathing deeply with my hands on my tummy because it's helped in the past. Just realised I can feel a lump just behind and to the left of my belly button. Shit

[LEMmingaround]

Without being tmi it could be poo. It also likely to be simply your gut in spasm. You have an upset tummy so it isnt surprising you can feel something. Can you get to bed at all? Poor you x

[Victrix]

In bed at the moment- if I lie very still it doesn't hurt. I may or may not be lying at a weird angle because the cat is asleep where my feet should be

I've got a GP appointment tomorrow anyway to review AD dosage so I'll mention it to her then.

[Katkins1]

Sorry you aren't feeling well, Victrix. Just out of curiosity, how long have you been on the anti depressants? My gp said I need 4 to 6 weeks before I review mine, because I've been on and off them. I'm really struggling tonight, reduced my zoplicone as the doctor said one every other night, but finding it hard to sleep now. My neighbours are bashing about, which doesn't help.they have only just moved in too. I'm feeling so isolated, and as though I have no one to talk to, no one that understands me or pyschosis and everyone thinks I'm.attention seeking. I wish that I could just run awAy from all of these problems and all of the social stigma and everything else, and just hide away. It's getting way way too much for me now. I just don't know anyone who has been through this.

I hope you feel better, Victrix. Sorry to go on, just struggling quite a lot.

[Victrix]

I've been taking them for about 12 weeks now, been seeing the GP roughly once a fortnight. Started on 10mg and gradually gone up to 30mg, will probably be on 40mg after today (max dose for citalopram).

I hope your neighbours shut up eventually and you managed to get some sleep

[Katkins1]

Ah that's good. Do you feel they are working? I'm on 100mg setraline- though I'm not sure what the huge differences are in doses and anti depressants. I slept from five until about ten in the end- need to get ready now (after my coffee, naturally)!

[Victrix]

I do feel a bit steadier now, not back to normal by a long shot but much much better than I was. Just doing a day at a time.

[NatashaRostova]

Afternoon everyone, hope you are doing okay.

Glad you got some sleep Katkins. Hope you are feeling better Victrix.

Took the dog to the vets and the vet has kept him in to operate today. Just got to wait for a phone call. My anxiety is through the roof.

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

afternoon folks....just checking in. natasha hope your pooch is ok.

[NatashaRostova]

Dog has come through his operation, I can pick him up this evening. He's 15 so I feel like we're on borrowed time.

I feel terrible today. Probably should ring crisis but too frightened.

How is everyone else?

[LEMmingaround]

Why did mnhq edit the title I wonder

Katkins -I think youll be surprised. Many more people suffer from mh issues than let on. At least 3 of my friends are on ads and those are the ones I know about. Psychosis is probably more difficult to understand. My mum gets it very mildly and it is very difficult. People just dont talk about it because of the stigma and this really pisses me off. If I broke my back I wouldn't be told to buck up and get over myself.

Hope you are feeling better victrix.

Natasha I hope your dog is recovering well. My dogs are my lifeline.

I am thinking of talking to my gp about my meds but not sure what that would achieve.

[SnowyMouse]

I wonder that too, LEM, I can't remember what it was. Do you want a change in meds?

I'm glad your dog is through the op, NR, sorry you feel terrible. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself?

sorry things are rough for so many.

[LEMmingaround]

Snowy im not sure. I don't feel they are working and I feel very demotivated and treacle like. Was having suicidal thoughts the other night and picturing some pretty unpleasant things. Am enjoying having dd home but finding it hard to do the one day at a time thing. What frustrates me is that I haven't had any major trauma in my life. Reasonable childhood. Yes there has been stress but no more than the next person yet even the slightest thing floors me. I don't understand why I am like this. Why can't I make a positive decision and just run with it. 10 years ago I would have. I saw an ad for a phd project and thought oooh that looks interesting im having some of that. Best years of my life by far but now even the thought of a cleaning job fills me with terror. What happened? I feel like I want to walk away from everything and start again but I can't. I love my dds more than life. They are the only reason im still here. And my dogs. Im struggling with dp as in my mind I'm associating him with stress and feeling useless ( him and me together a couple of fuck ups) I love him very much and dont want to leave but we are so close that my negativity rubs off on him and vice verse. I want to change my life drastically but dont know how.

The job thing is killing me. I want to start looking but I got into such a cycle of rejections and non existant "jobs"posted online by agencies it terrifies me to go there. I just want to feel like I have a purpose in life.

[LEMmingaround]

Phew what an essay. Snowy how are You?

[Katkins1]

(Lem). Have you finished your degree now? I've just finished my undergrad, have to say I did enjoy it but it was horrendous towards the end. I can empathise with what you say about purpose and so on, I found that very difficult just after. I've been so unwell that I haven't thought about it a lot, but I do get a strange sense of emptiness and loneliness now, a bit like the days are very, very...hollow. It's just passing the hours and checking how I feel. My emotions are quite strong, very overpowering and come from nowhere, even when I'm by myself. Like now, my friend us meant to be bringing little one back at 5. It's now 6 and I've not heard anything, so my mind is doing somersault thinking I've mis heard, she won't give her back and loads of other stuff that isn't true. She probably just got delayed bringing her back because she's working and has to get her things ready and packed. But my mind spins out of control at the slightest thing, sometimes from nowhere. I know it's not rational, but I think it's part of why depression us such an exhausting and all consuming illness, it's like the mind turns in on itself. I don't know if that helps you, though. I do understand.