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Original poster

If you're going through hell, keep going

460 replies

Pare · 16/07/2014 19:14

Hi, thought I might try another thread as I've missed having somewhere to offload. Thanks for all the support on the other one, I have saved it and removed certain posts so that I can look at it when I need something to focus on.

I went to the meeting with the manager of the Crisis Team tonight and it was really difficult even though he accepted that they had got things wrong. He said I have to keep attending or they will have me assessed under the Mental Health Act. I don't really trust them though and it is going to be really hard. He suggested meeting with the nurse who I saw on Monday, and with him, to try and talk it through and come to an understanding. I don't know if that will be too much.

OP posts:
YesitismePare · 02/09/2014 18:38

Really tired today. Kept up the act but finding it difficult.

Seeing the therapist for the first time tomorrow. Feeling anxious about that.

I want to stop taking the sertraline, the side effects are not helping and it doesn't help my mood.

alittlebitmeh · 02/09/2014 19:17

Hi Pare. Good luck with the therapy tomorrow. I found CBT really helpful. I hope it helps you to. I think I expected to much out of the first session. I think I just expected to dump everything on her and I would be fixed. I'm sure you'll be more realistic than me Grin

YesitismePare · 02/09/2014 19:49

It's seeing a psychologist for assessment tomorrow, I'm paying privately for this. CBT I'm waiting for the NHS to send me an appointment. I feel a little bit lost this evening.

alittlebitmeh · 02/09/2014 21:10

You're doing so well. I'm in awe of your determination to keep working even when you're finding things hard Thanks

temporaryusername · 02/09/2014 22:11

You're doing really well Pare. It is horrible, that 'lost' feeling, but you are doing the right things. Good luck tomorrow, I agree with alittlebitmeh that the first session doesn't necessarily reveal that much about how things will go, it is a bit of a process I suppose. You will find someone who you feel you can trust and who can help you, if it isn't this therapist you can try another. It would be lovely to be lucky first time though, even if it takes a while to establish things.

I hope your mum is feeling a bit better.

YesitismePare · 02/09/2014 23:15

We had a presentation from the new company that has taken over Occupational Health provision this morning. They were saying that GPs sign people off with depression too easily and it is their job to weed out people who just can't do their jobs anymore. Pretty scary really.

SilverStars · 03/09/2014 00:16

Hope assessment helpful for you.

There is a difference between people who have been in hospital and under a crisis team for several weeks, however, to people who have not been referred for any medication or treatment by a dr before they are signed off. Your medical records will support you needing being signed off if you ever do so you will have nothing to fear OH company.

And yes, some people do get signed off more easily. Not saying that is right or wrong either.

YesitismePare · 03/09/2014 19:18

Don't think I'll be going back. She forgot we had an appointment then didn't answer her phone so I was just about to leave when she arrived. Then she kept talking about pie crusts and overcoats.

I think I'm going to stop taking the sertraline too.

Dutchoma · 03/09/2014 20:18

That sounds bizarre. Did she explain why she was talking about that?

How did your first day back with the children go?

temporaryusername · 03/09/2014 20:42

Ok, that appointment doesn't sound great! I think you should be prepared to move on and try someone else (they won't all be like that!), or to say to yourself you will give her one more chance then move on. Don't get too discouraged, you are doing the right thing getting help from a therapist and it is no reflection on you if some turn out to be less than helpful.

Something very very important - do not just stop the sertraline suddenly, especially from 200mg. Anyone would be messing up their mind (and body!) doing that, and you might take seriously things that really will be just the withdrawal. It can be done gradually, and really please get medical advice on how to withdraw or whether to change drugs. That is if you decide to stop the sertraline, it might be worth giving it a bit longer but again you need medical advice on that.

Apologies if you didn't mean that were just going to come off it suddenly, just thought I'd say the above in case you did.

YesitismePare · 03/09/2014 22:16

Can't be bothered with any of it anymore. I'm sick of being labelled as ill and given drugs to change me.

I always come off SSRIs cold turkey. You feel sick and dizzy for about a week then it is fine.

SilverStars · 03/09/2014 22:52

Definitely agree try someone else - as in all jobs there are good and less good workers!

temporaryusername · 03/09/2014 22:53

I know what you mean, but I don't really see it as just the drugs changing 'you'. I don't think you should think of suffering as 'you'. You've said yourself you have PTSD, which means that your suffering is not 'you', it is the effect of trying to cope with trauma, and I think you have to keep trying to get some meaningful help in addressing that. 'You' can emerge from this, the drugs might help you while you look for and undergo therapy I suppose.

The above is just a thought. I know what you mean in that drugs can change your feelings, but remember you are more than your feelings at whatever time. There are times you'll feel a certain way but those feelings aren't 'you', they are an experience you're having.

As for being labelled 'ill', remember mental illness can be a normal reaction to bad experiences, just as physical illness is a normal reaction to exposure to certain germs or having certain unhealthy lifestyle habits. So being ill doesn't mean that a reaction is outlandish or abnormal, or something faulty in you, or that it is an essential part of your nature. It is just the way humans work in responding to life, and is something to try and alleviate. I suppose what I'm trying to say is, it is a response not an essence. You deserve to label the PTSD as something other than 'you', because it isn't inherently or inevitably you. You deserve to get better from it.

susiedaisy · 03/09/2014 22:56

Just saw that this thread is active again. Hi pare Thanks

YesitismePare · 04/09/2014 20:44

Hi Susie, hope you are well.

I'm so tired. Not sleeping at all and lots of work to do.

bluebell345 · 05/09/2014 08:03

hi Pare, its nice to see you here again :)

alittlebitmeh · 07/09/2014 21:30

How are you Pare. Hope work is ok this week.

YesitismePare · 08/09/2014 18:26

I've just given up really. Going through the motions and pretending but I feel so tired and lost.

I'm not going to get 'better' and I'm so tired.

Dutchoma · 08/09/2014 18:53

How are your classes this year? Whatever and however you feel, you are still a good teacher, so 'going through the motions' got you a jolly good result last year.

YesitismePare · 08/09/2014 22:36

They seem noisy. I have a terrible pain in my head and I'm so tired.

Dutchoma · 09/09/2014 08:47

So sad to read that Pare. No idea what to say, sorry. And if I don't know what to do, how would you?

alittlebitmeh · 09/09/2014 09:09

Would you reconsider being signed off Pare?

YesitismePare · 09/09/2014 19:49

I'm sorry, I don't expect anybody to have any answers. I don't really know why I'm posting, just feel so tired and my head won't stop aching.

Dutchoma · 09/09/2014 20:02

Never thought I could have any answers, but I'm still here to care about you ad hold your hand.
What do you think about the weather at the moment, do you like it or does it make things harder for you?
I love it.

YesitismePare · 09/09/2014 20:54

I'm sorry.