"Summer is Coming, the Village is warm and safe - support for depression, anxiety and other MH issues"

[LollipopViolet]

New thread, everyone :) First attempt at a thread title for us.

I've just posted on the old one, am really struggling today. Was feeling numb, still do, to be honest. Need to get myself through today.

sounds rubbish. Personally I think working together adds an extra source of stress to a relationship and changes the dynamic as someone is in charge etc.... so occasional bust-ups more likely. But no easier to bear. Anything that helps you relax?

I just feel under so much pressure, he has told me he doesn't want me in the business, it was one of the things i was hanging on to to make me feel like i serve a purpose. I mean, if you get "sacked" by your own DP it doesn't bode well does it. Ages ago we nearly split up but i begged him to stay, i know its only a matter of time before it happens and there is a big part of me that wishes i let him go all those years ago as i may have been over the pain by now. I just want him to give me a cuddle but he is looking at me like he hates me.

Did he tell you this today? Has it come out of a particular issue with work? Something said in anger/in the heat of the moment? Working together is not easy and I would have happily sacked my dh (when I was in a position too) just to take that complication out of our relationship - its not necessarily not "bode-ing well" its way more complicated with a partner that you're emotionally involved with. But I can totally sympathise re: it giving you a sense of purpose.

And it's back. The general low feeling, of being hopeless at everything I've ever turned my hand to, and of being a failure.

But, there's a part of me screaming that it's not true, that I am worth people caring about and I have done good things in my life, and been a success.

I need a distraction for times like this.

Hi lollipop its rubbish when it comes back isn't it. Can you try and hold onto that positive voice? From your posts it sounds to me like you're doing really well. Some days are better than others - that's normal x

CIQ I just wish I knew what was causing it, I've felt it on and off for years, but this bereavement has just magnified it, I suppose.

Hi, I would like to join your thread if ok with you all?
I followed your last one but never had the strength to ask to join you all

course you can collardove do join in I remember following two whole threads before I plucked up courage to join one, but I'm so glad I did. There's lots of new people joined too....

Welcome to the thread :)

"But, there's a part of me screaming that it's not true, that I am worth people caring about and I have done good things in my life, and been a success.
" Listen to that voice lollipop - it talks alot of sense

Hello collardove - glad you have said hello. If you want to tell us what you are struggling with, do, if not - thats fine too - just get yourself comfy x

Now talking to my lovely friend on facebook - giving me a bit of perspective.

lollipop bereavement would definitely magnify those sorts of feelings. To really get to the bottom of where they come from you'd probably need to go down the counselling route. There's a good book called "overcoming low self-esteem" which takes a cbt approach to help you tackle the negative thoughts...

sounds good lem

CIQ I think I am going to phone my GP tomorrow. Just for a chat, I don't particularly want medication because for me, I KNOW a lot of it stems from bullying at school, and having to deal with this bereavement, so I'd rather get to the root of all of that.

I've already made one big phone call, to get on the list for bereavement counselling. I can make this one, too.

I think.

sounds like a really good plan lollipop. Bullying has such a big impact on people. My dbrother's depression stems in part from bullying . Can you reward yourself for making the call? works for me!

Right I am having a cup of tea and then I must go to bed. I find when my mood slumps, the motivation that keeps protective measures going (eg going to bed early) also disappears. So despite healthy eating recently I have eaten choc all night (but no so that's something). but I also usually loose willpower to get off the sofa to bed, sleep and another day, I want to delay tomorrow I think.

Noooo I've eaten far too much cake this week and I have weigh in tomorrow (that is NOT going to be pretty!)

I will find something non-food related to reward myself with, though.

Bed is calling me too :)

Oh no, not cake then!

Am loosing the battle to get off the laptop (are my mood swings normal? Euphoric post a week or so ago, today big grey cloud.......)

night x

Thank you all for your warm welcome, and allowing me - collar dove to take a perch.
Kind words mean such so much when you are in the cycle of doom.
I do want to share with you what my struggles are. It has been a long and draining day for me.
I am off tomorrow and will settle down and post. If I do it now it will be an emotional, senseless ramble! X

I am off to bed due to the fact that tomorrow is going to involve talking to people and maybe even going outside- need energy for those!

Night all x

CIQ when my mood is low I lose all motivation too, all I want to do (for weeks now) is sit in my kitchen and drink tea. I also can't prioritise or in fact get things done. Its my mams birthday tomorrow and I wanted to arrange a meal for all the family but I didn't get around to organising anything and I know she'll be disappointed :(

LEM I hope things aren't too bad for you tonight, working with a partner must be really tough x

Collardove I'm new here as well, I just joined the group on Sunday x

Lollipop well done for making the call for bereavement counselling, hope you don't have to wait too long for an appointment x

I thought today was the day when the boys bullying ds1 were back in with the rest of school...turns out it's tomorrow so I've been stressing about that. I just hope and pray things are ok for him, I'm not sure how much more he can take. He has Asperger Syndrome too which adds to it all, he takes things very personally and to heart, he can be bad tempered but never seems to unleash it at school.

many of my posts are emotional senseless rambles, which is why i like this thread, people still care Tired here too - am going to go to bed. DP still in vile mood but thankfully directing it in the right direction now.

thanks vanda just finding it weird after having had 6 or 7 good weeks to now being back under the cloud. Hoping its tiredness and I haven't been able to keep up my exercise the last 5 days or so...

yes lem its a great thread .

OK. MUST SWITCH OFF LAPTOP NOW.

x

Morning hi all

Welcome collar xx

My son has as too vanda. It's a tough one to deal with isn't it. Especially when they "save" up the days frustration, package it neatly and bring it home to take the lid off. Big hugs xxxxxxx

Good luck today vic
Enjoy doing nice things with the DC wipedout
lem hope today is a calmer day for you and your DH keeps directing his temper away from you! Are you looking for a job at the moment? What sort if things are you looking for? I've just applied for one but would be grateful for some ideas! (Pm if you'd rather). You don't approve of me looking for a mortgage with DH? I have no income at the moment, my DC need somewhere to live and I'd rather it was with me.
Cake is good ciq did you manage to get to bed at a decent time? Hope you're feeling rested today.
Hello to everyone else. Are you ok DD?

I've just realised that my days if lie ins are going to be stopped for a while :( The past couple of months, when the DC get up at 6 I've been letting them watch films on the iPad until they demand breakfast and having a doze whilst they do. And extra hour or two half asleep has been making a huge difference! But weekends are hard to re-adjust! DH has some time off over the next few weeks so I can't sleep in during the week all the time.

Oh and the fuckers who we reserved the new property with (flat and cellar) have gone and sold the cellar to someone else, despite us paying a 20000 reservation fee. So we can only have a cellar in the neighbouring building. Which means it would be even more of an arse for me as I couldn't even vaguely justify running down to get something whilst the DC are asleep. Downstairs is one thing, but out and into another building is too much for me. So now we are potentially moving (cue hysterical laughter) in two weeks and I have to figure out and mentally rearrange where everything is going to go. Brain fry.

Hello everyone

Hope you got your cuddle LEM and that things are better today.

Aww Vanda I hope your son gets on ok- dealing with bullying must be doubly hard if you have Aspergers. He's obviously good with the social rules regarding emotional display if he keeps his frustration for home though! Organising a big family meal is a big ask if you are feeling rubbish- you can only do so much.

unemployableleech that sounds like a bit of a crazy situation...

Hope everyone has a good day today.