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"Summer is Coming, the Village is warm and safe - support for depression, anxiety and other MH issues"

996 replies

LollipopViolet · 18/05/2014 12:27

New thread, everyone :) First attempt at a thread title for us.

I've just posted on the old one, am really struggling today. Was feeling numb, still do, to be honest. Need to get myself through today.

OP posts:
Collardove · 24/06/2014 19:49

So many of us are struggling again :(

Hi to PulledApart and FeelingDown.

CIQ - I really sympathise with your situation with DH. I have been with my DH since I was 17, together now 26yrs. But I would say 20 of them were not at all great! We just I suppose did not seem to like each other in the years when DC were younger. Nearly split twice.
More for the sake of DC we clung to our marriage...
In the end we went to counselling (briefly) sadly cut short because of the cost issue. But the few sessions made enough of a difference.
We had been advised to go for maybe 3 years, just couldn't be asked. Then it got so dire we both saw it as a last chance.
Big turn around in the last 5 years. We are actually friends now and for the first time have been enjoying our marriage.
It was so very hard though the misery years.
I hope the counselling has a positive effect for you both.

Nethuns - I am so sorry that your home life is such an unhappy one at the moment :(
As CIQ said at least you can talk to DH. So sad for your DS. It is extra painful to see our DC struggling and unhappy.
I hope the mood lifts for you all ((hug))

Snowy - I am happy for you that they have sorted out your wheelchair :)

Lollipop - well done to you! :)

Lem - how is your chest today?

NanaNina - I hope things are still ticking along ok for you. .

Victrix - sorry that you are struggling :(

Silvery - Glad to read things were picking up a little for you :)

Katkins - hope you are doing ok?

I am back to work again tomorrow. But then have holiday booked for 2 weeks. I must be feeling okish as I feel no guilt having just gone back and then going to be off again :)

Feelingdownthismorn · 24/06/2014 23:17

Thanks for the lovely welcomes.
I'm having a really hard time at the moment. So many intrusive thoughts about the past. Really struggling to think of anything else. Don't know what to do with myself, just want to sleep but am too angry. I'm thinking of stopping my counselling sessions as it's too hard. No idea what to do!

ColouringInQueen · 25/06/2014 10:21

Thanks collar your post and story is really helpful to read. So glad to hear that things are better with your dh now Smile. Dh and I ended up having a better evening which now seems like a dream and my brain is frazzled I don't know what is going on.

feelingdown that sounds really tough. I do know that for me and many others things can get worse fir a while when you start counselling - as you expose wounds as it were - before you feel better. Do you have any ways of getting your anger out? I am a big believer in sleep too. Would you be able to get out for a walk or sonething? Take care.

Katkins1 · 25/06/2014 10:34

Hi Collar, hope everyone is doing OK. I'm feeling much more with it after just a couple of doses of diapzem and started taking sertraline today. Still having some hallucinations and hearing little bits of things-mainly whispering- but if I take the diapezm at the right time, it's not too bad. The room is spinning, and I feel as though I have flu though.

SnowyMouse · 25/06/2014 10:53

Thanks collar

I am so tired, no sign of cmht yet Sad

Pulledapart · 25/06/2014 10:54

Hi collar - time off sounds nice.

Feeling down - I could be u as everything u said in ur post above is what I'm going through. The only difference is I just wanna sleep n sleep. I'm still in bed & feeling miserable :(

my experience of counselling is turning out to be the same as others. Things are far more worse now.

The feeling of someone being in the room seems to have gone away but I'm still a bit edgy :(

Ciq - glad you & DH had a good evening :)

Lollipop - well done on your interview :)

Lem - hope your feeling better today Thanks

Hugs to everyone and hope the day goes ok for us all.

Victrix · 25/06/2014 11:25

Morning all, feeling a bit perkier today for want of a better word.

Did the Johnson and Johnson 7 minute work out app first thing - it is brutal. Might go out for some fresh air later, even if it is just to the garden to fill the birdfeeders. Have blackbirds nesting in the garden now so I feel responsible Grin (even if Mr Blackbird keeps chasing all the other birds away!)

Katkins1 · 25/06/2014 11:41

Hi pulled apart. I had a similar experience with counselling- it made things temporarily worse, then better (it's not related to now though- and how I feel!). I found it helped to think of 'keeping safe' strategies when I had flashbacks like that.

NanaNina · 25/06/2014 12:33

Hi folks - me too struggling. Forgive me if I get things a bit muddled. I've posted to you on the other thread Katkins - you are probably getting some side effects from the Sertraline, but glad the diazepam are helping with the voices. And stay as long as you can with your friend - you need all the support you can get and to keep LO safe until you are feeling much better.

I have had horrendous withdrawal symptoms from too big a reduction in imipramine. Fortunately I got my CPN on the phone on Monday and told her about my weekend from hell. She contacted the psych and he said I was having withdrawal symptoms (which I already knew) so gone back to the higher dose for the time being. Still feel sick, achey, no evergy, anxious and flat (oh god the lists go on don't they...............) Even the sun isn't lifting my mood.

Seems everyone is struggling - CIQ I know it's a real puzzle about knowing which is cause and effect with depression and "external issues" as my CPN calls them. My eldest son and DIL are splitting up after 24 years and I think that's contributed to the worst year I've had since my relapse in 2010. You said something about feeling bad about what you had said to DH......have you started counselling yet. IF you decide that separation is the only thing I think Relate can help smooth that path. Also don't forget that it's the "nature of the beast" with depression to have fluctuations and I know from your other posts that you do experience these (as most of us do) so remember the light will return again. Am having to tell myself that this morning.

Pulledapart - are you the same person as Feelingdownthismorning - I'm wondering if you have ever tried this other therapy for PTSD called EMDR (google it) and there's another similar one but can't remember what it's called but someone might know. Apparently you don't have to go through all the trauma of the past as you do in more conventional therapy but it has very good outcomes for PTSD. Might be worth looking into.

Lem I know you've got laptop problems but I miss you!

Victrix and Nethun I'm really sorry but I can't remember your back stores so will try and scroll back and get up to speed. Oh and Silvery see you are still a bit wobbly which I guess is to be expected isn't it - deck chair in the garden today maybe? Collardove well done on getting back to work - hope there is no more nastiness with people at work and tale-telling to your manager - probably best not to confide in anyone at work - come and tell us instead!

Hmm - sorry if I've forgotten anyone. Oh snowy how could I forget you - glad the chair is mended - see you are waiting for someone from CMHT and still zonked out with meds? Any chance of a change to something with less sedative effect or is that an "if only......."

Wondering how DumDum is - I know you were struggling too. Blossomy how are you? Hope you're still "holding your own" or as they say "hanging on in there" - must admit I sometimes get fed up of people saying that as there isn't any option is there really.

Well I'm going to try a bit of sunshine therapy. Really disappointed as I see my grand-daughter on Weds if I'm ok and haven't seen her for about 3 weeks and I miss her so much...........oh shut up moaning NN!

Sending warm wishes to all

SnowyMouse · 25/06/2014 13:45

Sorry you're having such a rough time, NN Sad (((( NN )))) The meds that make me sleepy are the anti-psychotic, and I've been told that's non-negotiable. Hmm CMHT have been and gone, luckily the doctor had experience of anaesthesia so he was good at taking blood.

blossommy · 25/06/2014 15:32

Hello everyone - Ive started my multi vit / mineral and fish oil as part of my plan and 'trying' to be mindful ('trying' - Im not very good at it.)

Trying to keep a lid on it but im also not very good at that either. CAnt remember if I mentioned this higher up thread but I had a bit of a breast scare a few months ago and needed a couple of biopsies and managed to stay very rational through that (all fine in end :-)) but as soon as any signs of depression / anxiety start i get really frightened and pre-occupied. Its my real achilles heel. I think maybe because it seems to come from nowhere - so not related to anything that I can try and do something about.

NN you are so good at remembering everyone. I hope going up in the dose helps get rid of the withdrawal symptoms very quickly and you get to see your grandaughter really soon.

Hope everyone elses day is going ok.

This is one of the mindfulness excercises I am trying in case its any use to anyone else:

5-4-3-2-1

Look at five different things and really pick out and concentrate on their detail.
Listen for five different sounds and really pick up and concentrate on their detail.
Feel five different sensations and really pick up and concentrate on their detail. (can you feel the breeze on your face/ the material on your skirt etc etc.)

Then repeat for 4 / 3 /2 and 1

Katkins1 · 25/06/2014 15:36

That's good Blossom. I take mutivits and iron too. When I was doing my degree, I took natural energy tablets : dispersible ones, sometimes you get them on 3 for 2 in the chemists.

That's a good exercise :)

SnowyMouse · 25/06/2014 17:17

I'm really struggling with the voices Sad

LEMmingaround · 25/06/2014 18:12

(((Snowy))) fuck off voices.

Nana - sorry you are struggling.

I am, well, not too bad - bloody cold/cough is really battering me. Not to bad in mornings but by about 2 im buggered. So busy -walking my friends dog and drinking her rocket fuel coffee. Takes half the day. She us being very brave her chemo starts in 2 weeks dont know what to expect. School fair next week. Arrrghhh. Then dd has received official dyslexia diagnodis so trying to organise summer tutor for her but its ££££ and I don't know where the money will come ftom :(

Feel bad as I cant keep up with thread. I have fixed l asp top but fan is so noisy can only usecif for essentials.

Katkins1 · 25/06/2014 18:27

Sorry, snowy(())

NanaNina · 25/06/2014 19:35

Thank you for the hugs Snowy and so sorry those voices are intruding again. I think you said to Katkins that the diazepam help to quieten them a bit and of course, as I usually remind you, you can usually get a bit of respite by earphones and music (something soothing....) do you like any particular music? I'm not very musical but like the Irish women folk singers and some country and western. If I'm feeling nostalgic I like the Beatles and my all time favourite (who probably died before you were born(!) Buddy Holly - he died in a plane crash circa 1959 - such a loss.

Blossomy I know exactly what you mean about being scared of depression and anxiety and as you say there is often no trigger and no uncomplicated remedy..........if only! Well done with trying Mindfulness, it does have very good reviews for depression and anxiety. You've probably got that book from Amazon (Mindfulness - finding peace in a frantic world) or something like that. I bought it and dipped in but it isn't easy is it. I even tried Buddhist Mindfulness but I couldn't cope with that at all - I went to a couple of meetings but there was too much praying for my liking. I managed to be "mindful" this afternoon watching the clouds drifting by when I was sitting in the garden, and t was very relaxing. Have you tried any relaxation tapes?

Hi Lem sorry you are not feeling well and have the worry of DD's dyslexia - can you not help her yourself rather than getting a tutor?

My withdrawal symptoms are subsiding a little but I'm a bit annoyed with the psych because I've googled and apparently if you've been on the AD I am reducing for 12 months, it should be decreased in 10% doses and 2 weeks between each decrease and I have been on them for almost 5 years! Mind there is the addition of another AD so I suppose I have to take that into account. It's all so difficult to understand though isn't it because ADs are all so "hit and miss" and I suppose that's true of other drugs too.

SnowyMouse · 25/06/2014 20:40

Thanks all

Collardove · 25/06/2014 22:21

Hi everyone.

Mixed moods day for us villagers today then...

Victrix - glad you are feeling Perkier :)

Lem - hope your cough and cold shrugs itself off. Your friend is so very brave, and you are obviously a great support and comfort to her.

Snowy - How are you this evening? I hope your voices do one and leave you in peace. Sending you a hug x

NanaNina - Thanks for your supportive words. Oh yes I took your advice on board and will not confide in anyone at work! When you posted advice to me a few weeks back, and I will say it was very sound advice about my work situation. I have reread that post countless times and it gives me strength.
I am sorry that you are struggling again today :(

CIQ - How has this evening been with DH?

Blossomy - you are fast becoming my MH guru with all these great suggestions to try out!

FeelingDown, KatKins and PulledApart - I will find your other threads this evening and read through them.
This is a great thread for support without question :)

Nethuns, Lollipop, Silvery - hope you are all ok today?

As for me I was back for my third day in to work this week. It was quite busy as our sale started a few days ago. Kept me distracted.
It's my birthday tomorrow, but I feel rather flat. I only finalised today going out with some friends for a meal tomorrow evening. I just cannot plan further then a couple of days in advance, as I simply don't know how I will be. You all understand that I know ;)

ColouringInQueen · 25/06/2014 22:49

Hi all

collar what a lovely post for everyone. Well done with the work thing and yes I completely understand what you mean about planning. Happy Birthday for tomorrow. Mine's next week and I'm also pretty unexcited...

Haven't see dh tonight as he's ended up spending the evening on the phone with something to do with work.
I have been feeling very weird today - I feel very different from a few days ago with the detached, cold thing. Today I feel fragile, exhausted, slept most of the morning, frazzled and spaced.

lem don't worry if you can't keep up but its good to hear from you. You are doing an amazing thing for your friend, make sure you take care of yourself too.

nana wow no wonder you've been feeling so bad! Hope things calm down now.

snowy hope those voices have calmed down a bit.

Hi katkins, blossomy hope your evenings going ok.

Pulledapart · 26/06/2014 00:21

Evening all,

My day has been busy spend most of it shopping around for a new tv with my brother whilst little one was at nursery. It helped to distract my mind from the intrusive thoughts for a while. Had a nice dinner with family also followed by the ritual of putting DD to bed. Hubby went away tonight for 4 days with work so feeling a bit unloved :( he did tell me well in advance about this but for some reason my mind chose to block it out! I'm exhausted but wide awake Hmm I did manage to buy a diary also as my therapist wants me to keep a mood diary from now on or just offload my thoughts into it. Feeling quite flat at the moment.

NN thank you for the advise re EDMR therapy I will look into it. At the moment I'm having psycho therapy which is basically one-to-one talking therapy exploring mostly my emotions so far and trying to understand them Hmm sorry your having a tough time with your AD's. Mine are always being chopped and changed so I understand what you mean about it being so confusing.

collar happy birthday for tomorrow Thanks & Cake for you. Hope you have a fab time :)

ciq sleep is my friend at the moment too so get as much of it as you can if it helps.

snowy lots of (((hugs))) hope the voices are calmer this evening.

lem sorry to read about your friend & wish her all the best with the treatment. You sound like an amazing friend to have but like ciq said take care of yourself too.

blossomy I've done a lot of mindfulness/relaxation during my spells in hospital but they were mostly guided ones with either a CD to follow or someone reading a script. Your suggestion sounds very interesting to try once I regain the capacity to concentrate again.

katkins thanks for the suggestion of keeping safe strategy I will keep that In mind. Hope your having an ok evening.

Sorry if I've forgotten anyone I'm finding it a bit hard to concentrate. Hugs to all & hope all having a peaceful sleep x

Victrix · 26/06/2014 00:51

I feel all jittery. Can't switch off. Can't stop thinking. Can't relax. Can't be arsed with this!

Pulledapart · 26/06/2014 01:19

Hi victrix,

I can't switch off tonight either even though I'm exhausted :( I've just posted my own thread, don't even know why. Anything you can try to distract yourself?

I have a supply of sleeping tablets (I keep for emergency) and I've taken one so hoping that will knock me out soon!

Victrix · 26/06/2014 01:46

Hope you manage to get some sleep, pulledapart

I'm downstairs now, knitting. If I stay in bed I'll only toss and turn all night. Plus DP has work in the morning so I don't want to wake him up.

This hasn't been helped by the cat nicking half my pillow Grin

Pulledapart · 26/06/2014 02:05

Glad you found a distraction :) it it helps half my bed is being knicked by my DD right now. She's taking advantage of DH being away!

LEMmingaround · 26/06/2014 16:48

Fuck - been recalled by breast clinic :( I am shitting myself. Dr said they prob just want to look for themselves and re drain it ( cyst) but im convinced it will be bad news :( :(