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"Summer is Coming, the Village is warm and safe - support for depression, anxiety and other MH issues"

996 replies

LollipopViolet · 18/05/2014 12:27

New thread, everyone :) First attempt at a thread title for us.

I've just posted on the old one, am really struggling today. Was feeling numb, still do, to be honest. Need to get myself through today.

OP posts:
SnowyMouse · 02/06/2014 18:26

I did resist, I've done a little shredding (loads more paperwork to sort out though). I am very tired though Sad CPN coming tomorrow instead.

TheUnemployableLeech · 02/06/2014 19:23

Can't post long so hope all are managing. Hugsxx

Lem - tried a new name, didn't like it, am back. Need inspiration.

Moving. Arrrgh. Wails. I asked agent if we could move in before exchange as we need to repaint this place. He said yes. I said it would need to be in the next 3 weeks as DH has holiday. He says should be possible. Now find floors aren't laid, wiring not finished etc and earliest possible date is first week of July. I asked him twice. Now DH is pissed off we can't move because agent has said July and DH thinks I've screwed it all up. Argh. And I might have to go to dr because my leg is still funny. I suppose I'll have to ask DH if it's ok and if he would watch DC ( last time was a disaster and a waste if time and money!). Panicking at the thought of possibly having to go...

SnowyMouse · 02/06/2014 19:33

That all sounds very draining, (((( TUL )))) You should get your leg checked out if you think it needs it, it sounds like a difficult situation to be in Sad

DumDum32 · 02/06/2014 20:21

Argggghhhhh moving is so hard :(

All the house is upside down but at least the beds are done so we can all sleep tonight :)

Thinking of u all xxx

ColouringInQueen · 02/06/2014 21:05

hi all

(((hugs))) to everyone who needs them esp dd, tul, snowy, collar, nethuns

Weekend away was pretty rubbish. Did try and post at low point sat night but wifi failed. It was bleurh, not very interesting, conversation was forced, I'd tune out, got irritated a lot (eg Fri night, going out to pub for dinner, had to ask him to iron his shirt as he looked a mess) Felt he was trying a bit too hard and that didn't make things easier.

Dinner sat night, did start to have a slightly better conversation looking back over last year. I said something about this will be the last time I say this but 'when you went to Scotland because of work when I was at my lowest, it was devastating'. (I was planning suicide on the Sat eve, Sun eve he went to Scotland for work, despite having been made redundant on the Friday). He has always maintained it was really important for him professionally and I had come to terms with that, he fixed up for my sister to stay over. But on sat night he told me that he didn't have to go, he just didn't think he could help me. So he left. I was so shocked that he'd lied and so consistently and convincingly (he never lies) and shocked that I had been, as I had felt, deserted. I know he still wasn't well early 2013 (after severe depression 2012) so I can understand him thinking that but that weekend was my lowest and its hard to take.

Anyhow, some Wine had been consumed, I ended up crying at the table, and leaving. When he came back to the B&B he didn't know why I had got so upset and was cross about being humiliated in the restaurant. So I had to explain and then he ends up breaking down in tears talking about how his upbringing means he's unable to express emotion. He's a work in progress etc etc...

I just don't feel anything for him any more. But I don't want our family to break up. So now what? Writing this I think maybe I'm over-reacting, but I've struggled to be around him today.

LollipopViolet · 02/06/2014 21:25

My work programme provider sent the employer an out of date CV with my old number on it, and because I didn't get their voicemails, I've not got an interview tomorrow now :(

They do have my current number and CV, so not sure what happened there.

OP posts:
SnowyMouse · 02/06/2014 22:31

Oh (((( LV )))) that's rubbish Sad

(((( CIQ ))))

Night all.

Collardove · 02/06/2014 23:12

CIQ - hugs :( I am so sorry to hear about that weekend away was not a good one.

I was in a similar position when I went away with DH a couple of months ago, there is nothing worse when you don't want to actually be away in the first place, all you really want to do is be home - and even worse paying for the misery of it all.... Grrrrr!!!!

Hope you get a good sleep x

Lollipop - how very disappointing for you... x

NanaNina · 03/06/2014 00:04

On CIQ sorry to hear about your weekend, it does sound pretty ghastly but that revelation that your DH came out with on Sat night was awful for you. I wonder why he decided to tell you - ok it was deceitful but he'd kept it up for so long, you would have been none the wiser. I can well understand why you felt shocked and I imagine angry and upset. I don't think you were over reacting, a reaction is a reaction isn't it -sometimes it's big, sometimes slight, it depends on what we are reacting to, so I always think the term "over reaction" doesn't really mean anything. I suppose over time and when the shock has worn off you might see it slightly differently. I think painful things often do "shrink" over time into something more manageable.

I don't know too much about your past to be honest and hadn't realised your DH had suffered a severe depression, but presumably has recovered? I think you have dep/anx (?) but are up and down with it (is that right) and do you think it's related to your DH's depression.

I know you've been saying for a long time that things weren't right between you and DH and I understand that you don't want to break up your family. It's a tough one isn't it because sometimes staying together for the sake of the kids isn't always the right decision, but it's also tough to think of splitting up. Do you think counselling (for the two of you) might help. I think Relate do it at reasonable cost.

TUL I'm sorry but almost every time you post I wonder why you are so dominated by your DH - he seems to blame you for things that aren't your fault, and I wonder if you just can't/won't stand up to him. Re the leg - do you mean you will have to ask DH IF you can go to see the GP, and ask if he will watch the children - his children. Are you in another country? I think you get good support from your In-Laws don't you - it certainly sounds like you need some support.

Snowy hope you can tell your CPN tomorrow how things really are - the tiredness (which I assume is a side effect of the meds) doesn't seem to be letting up does it. Is there an alternative drug you could try I wonder.

Collardove - you mentioned worrying about whether you were fit for work and I do tend to forget that you young women/mothers mostly have jobs as well as batting with mental health issues. Is it a stressful job, or something you enjoy when you feel well enough.

Silverypussycat are you out there? We're all wondering about you.

Sorry I can't remember anything else but sending good wishes. I've been fairly flat all day - started the new meds today, so time will tell.

Collardove · 03/06/2014 00:36

NanaNina you are a late night owl like me tonight. I cannot sleep. All sorts going in my head today.

Got up and made a nice hot drink with a side order of custard creams x3!

Well I am a 'young' mummy of nearly 44 now!

Sorry your day has been so flat. Hope things pick up a little in the morning for you x

LEMmingaround · 03/06/2014 01:20

Feel overwhelmed diazepam nedded

ColouringInQueen · 03/06/2014 10:36

(((lem)))

thanks snowy, collar, nana yes dh was severely depressed 2012. I was not in good mental health but kept going, ran out of steam Jan 2013 when he was recovering but a bit hyper, disordered thinking for a good few months. Yes it played a part in mine, but so did company I built being sold and dismantled, ds starting school, tough year with dd at school etc... Am soooo much better than a year ago, but still have ups and downs....

I just don't know if these feelings - or lack of - are true iykwim? Doesn't feel quite real? Am very tired today - haven't slept well for several nights which never helps. I feel quite flat. I guess in part I'd like to blame it on my mental health but I don't think it's that simple. We did talk about Relate...

Anyhow am having a tea, toast, sofa and tv morning which is much needed I think.

tul how's the leg today?

ColouringInQueen · 03/06/2014 11:08

Hmmm topic on tv "holidays apart from your partners" apparently holidays often cause major rows, one in 10 split up after a holiday... psychologists even recommend it!

NanaNina · 03/06/2014 12:20

Yes I'd heard that CIQ and of course the other big one is Christmas and Relate are bombarded in January, and the divorce statistics soar in the early months of the year. It's difficult to think of starting to talk about your difficulties but I think it might be worth it...........mind I often think that men and women weren't made to live together and the divorce stats show that - apparently just short of 50% of marriages/partnerships break down. And 2nd marriages/partnerships break down quicker than first ones, for obvious reasons really as there is more emotional "baggage."

Oh Lem you don't sound good - is it still health anxiety or something else.

I stay up far too late collardove - I'm definitely an owl but then as I'm retired I don't have to get up for work.

Hope your meeting with CPN goes ok snowy

SnowyMouse · 03/06/2014 12:56

Thanks.

SnowyMouse · 03/06/2014 15:25

CPN has cancelled again.

SnowyMouse · 03/06/2014 16:20

I'm feeling awful, trying to distract.

TwosaCrowd · 03/06/2014 16:22

Sorry that she cancelled snowy. I tried ringing my CPN yesterday and her mother in law answered to say that she was ill! Was a little bit bizarre.

I'm feeling really triggered, I've made banana bread, danced with DS and not on here and watching frozen. What distraction techniques do you find helpful? I'm here for someone to chat to if it will help.

LEMmingaround · 03/06/2014 16:30

Snowy thats outrageous are you ok??

Im ok nana just so much going on that I feel like I don't know which way is up. Been doing some heavy physical work with dp which is good though. Wish I could do more. Although I shifted 1.5 ton of ballast by hand yesterday and chucked it into cement mixer and today removed two massive yea trunks im shattered. Hay fever/cold making me feel like shit. Still helping my lovely friend. Had to sort dentist for dd1 then organise my mum. Take posters to shops for jumble sale. I have to find time to take my mum to hospital on Thursday. Lovely friend picking dd up then still have to sort jumble stuff and help set up with next to no volunteers. All very stressful just because people cant just get on and do things but have to bitch and whinge. Trying to organise dps work stuff - have left dd2 playing downstairs as soaking in the bath. I was so dirty! Was a lovely little robin helping us all day practically getting under our feet to catch worms as we dug. Made it all wotrh it. Health anxiety at the route of my stress and no time to see dr.

SnowyMouse · 03/06/2014 16:39

That must have been odd, TwosaCrowd. Sorry you're feeling triggered, would talking help? I listen to music or audiobooks, got a program on BA recorded from last night that I'm watching.

I'm trying to distract but it's very hard, LEM - she said she'd come later this week instead.

Sounds like you've done loads LEM - very impressive Smile Does talking help with HA?

TheSilveryPussycat · 03/06/2014 17:31

Hello all, I am touched that you have been thinking of me. Rather up and down, the meds I am on make me groggy, but have seen psychiatrist and he has adjusted one of them down a bit. I thought my motivation had improved on sodium valporate, but today am not so sure - been having a walking through treacle day.

I am also annoyed at the universe, when I got my ducks in a row and start seeing one or two old friends and buying some clothes it all spiralled out of control. And I was so disappointed not to be at family party with Lovely Man. And then, when I put the radio on, there always seems to be some programme with high achievers on it - and I'm thinking "how do you manage all that" and also that somehow I'm supposed to aspire to the same level of achievement.

If I tried to do what you've been doing LEM I'd be in a state of collapse, I should think.

LEMmingaround · 03/06/2014 18:00

So pleased to hear from you silvery. I used to want to be a high achiever but right now I am focusing on trying to be a good person. Ok so it doesn't come with status or money but it has its own rewards and brings a degree of inner peace.

SnowyMouse · 03/06/2014 18:07

Oh (((( silvery )))) I empathise re: high achievement, it's very difficult to live with Sad Good to hear from you though Smile

Collardove · 03/06/2014 20:21

Hi All.

Sorry a few of us are struggling again today :(. Hugs to all.

Snowy - sorry you got cancelled out again. I spent a good part of the day (well since I got up at 12!) distracting myself to avoid what was taking place in my head. I was doing ok, then a friend rang and was asking me how life was :( Now all my days efforts distracting is a mere distant memory, as the thoughts have come back with a vengeance - sigh....

CIQ - After your tea,toast and TV start to the day, how are you feeling about DH today?

Lem - Gosh you have been a very busy bee! I was exhausted just reading your to do and done list!

TwosaCrowd - I need to see frozen, oh I do miss those days sat with DD and DS when they were little watching a good film.... I used to love The Aristcats and Winnie the Pooh and all the Disney films. How was the rest of your afternoon after feeling triggered? Did you manage to distract yourself?

NanaNina - how is 2nd going for you on your change of meds?

TUL - how is your leg today?

Nice to meet you TheSilveryPussycat :)

DumDum - saw you pop up a few posts back. Hope you and your family are settling in ok :)

I am off to see my GP tomorrow. I am hoping perhaps he will see I am not in a great place still and will sign me off again. The prospect of now going back this week has made me realise it was wishful thinking a few days ago - yea I can do it....... I so can't yet :(

nethunsreject · 03/06/2014 20:23

Evening all, hi silvery nice to see you x.
LEM you're working hard! snowy each, that's a shame, I hope you get to see your cpn soon, it's rotten. Hi ciq, leech, lolli collar, everyone x

Well, pretty much recovered from migraine, hoping to have escaped cold as boys have had it over a week, fingers crossed. Seriously, that would finish me.
Knackered, going to bed soon, mainly to hide from family. Dh annoying m won't leave me in peace, he's not doing anything wrong, just want to be left alone , Garr!!

Sorry, not really contributing to the thread at the moment, other than moaning Grin x