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Original poster

Psychomum in need of support please.

163 replies

Flamesparrow · 17/08/2006 17:30

Psychomum has just returned from the doctors. She had a car crash 12 weeks ago, and hasn't been the same since - on painkillers for pains, but also in herself she has deflated

Yesterday (after I blew up at her and yelled lots - due to my own tiredness etc, she just happened to be my target ) she cried a lot, and myself and another friend made her a doctors appointment.

Today she was marched to said appointment (with the other friend), still muttering that she didn't see anything wrong with her and why she should go. She got there and everything came pouring out - how low she is feeling, how she feels that everyone hates her, and how much she wants to stop hurting, and go back to being a normal friend, mother and wife.

She has come home with a prescription for mirtazapine, and sleeping tablets if the first ones don't help with the sleep as well.

She needs support from all angles, but doesn't feel able to write about it herself yet (she knows I am writing this).

This has been so hard to watch, I haven't known what to do or how to help (although we have now established that yelling at her isn't the way to go ), even though I have been through depression myself, I feel so useless.

She doesn't want to be on ADs - family history is making her convinced that she is insane if she is given medication - please can all of you nice sane people on them/who have been on them come and show your faces so she can be reassured.

I want my bubbly friend back.

OP posts:
MerlinsBeard · 17/08/2006 22:32

sounds like some of your fear is because you have forgotten who you are whilst you have been hiding and busying yourself with everything and everyone else.

Nothing to be frightened of hon,those things you hide from can only hurt you if you let them

(sorry for ameteur psychology btw!)

heavenis · 17/08/2006 22:33

I know your fighting it and you are scared of the unknown. You will become yourself again.

psychomum5 · 17/08/2006 22:39

yuck yuck yuck....they contain suctos and aspertame and I am now officially poisoned.....and they have also force fed me cream cake cos I have to eat more too and so this is what they do

oooh.....I know that they being good friends, but still.....cream cake

BY the way.....got my best friend with her 5 kiddies living here at the mo as her new house isn't finished meing built but her old one is sold too early (IYGWIM?).....

MerlinsBeard · 17/08/2006 22:41

hmmm

heavenis · 17/08/2006 22:42

I hope you've got a large house then all those children.

psychomum5 · 17/08/2006 22:42

MoM are you 'hmmmmmmmmmming' for the friend staying or the force fed cake????

MerlinsBeard · 17/08/2006 22:44

i'm hmmmming at you lol! when their house is ready you need to make some time for yourself please.

cream cake idea making me simultaneously drool and want to vom!!

psychomum5 · 17/08/2006 22:57

we have a four bed house.....

me and DH and DS2 in our room......friend, twins, DD2 and her DD in one room, DD1 and DD3 in another and then her DS1 and DS2 and my DS1 in the boys room.

plus.....we getting a whole new built in bedroom next week being fitted, so am going to be painting and decorating and building as of the weekend.....

MerlinsBeard · 17/08/2006 22:58

with your friend there? eeek!,

r u hiding on msn or not wanting to talk properly?

psychomum5 · 17/08/2006 22:58

and our lounge is 24' by 16' with a hge conservatory added, plus big kitchen and the dining room table seats 10, so yup.....house works.

heavenis · 17/08/2006 23:10

That answered my question then

MerlinsBeard · 17/08/2006 23:13

thats a MAHOOSIVE lounge! my whole flat would fit in there!

psychomum5 · 17/08/2006 23:27

ok ladies.....am off to bed.

don't know if it be the tabs. or if it is me being exhausted, but thanyou lots for this and I will be back

mummyhill · 18/08/2006 07:33

Hope you slept well sweetheart.

EvesMama · 18/08/2006 08:49

did you get a good sleep sweetheart?

heavenis · 18/08/2006 09:00

Good morning how are you today ?

psychomum5 · 18/08/2006 10:03

hi everyone.

slept lovely thankyou

i think that is one of the reasons i have crashed so massively......sleep deprivation is a form of torture for good reason it seems!!!

feel odd tho.....my hands aren't typing as quickly as my brain is telling them to.....maybe something to do with the tabs maybe.

i am supposed to be going to physio later for my legs......wonder what she'll make of me??

just now on the count-down till me feeling more 'me' again....docs have made my friend promise to take me back next week to see them again....hopefully i will be smily by then.

thankyou all so much for all this......i hope no-one ets fed-up ith me tho this week....hid lots last week and now i am back with a vengance

CantSleepWontSleep · 18/08/2006 10:08

We won't get fed up of you psychomum. Pleased to hear that you had a good sleep.

Hope the physio goes well - are you very badly injured from the crash?

And I would say don't put too much pressure on yourself to be smiley by next week. It's taken many years to get to the state you are in now, so expecting it all to go away again in a week might be a bit much. It will take as long as it takes (such a useful platitude ), but each day is a step nearer.

xx

psychomum5 · 18/08/2006 10:19

thanks for that csws.

i wasn't badly badly injured thankgoodness, but I did have severe whiplash, and hips and lumber injuries which are internal from hitting the seat belt buckle. the man hit me side-on at about 15/20 mph and so i hit the buckle with some force. have got sciatica in my left leg and it feels like constant cramp too meaning that on bad days i am sorely tempted to chop my leg off.

it hasn't help that this is the second nasty accident in 6 yrs......the last happened while pregnant with DS1!! they have said that htis will mean that the whiplash injuries will now never imporove and i may also be needing steriod jabs in my back and leg and hip.

of course this hasn't help my mind and happiness as i am normally so active and to rely on others for help smacks against my moral.....leading to my grumps.

i am not making light of all my past (as if i could) but i am so used to coping and heling and just doing everything that to be thrown into bein a relient person is something i hate with a passion....

Overrun · 18/08/2006 11:36

psychomum - wanted to add my support, you were very informative and kind to me in a thread the other day. I get the impression that you are very generous with your time.
Thats quite a history, its almost too much to take in. How you grapple with it, I don't know.
I would certainly recommend counselling, but wonder if you associate this with your fear of all things connected to mental health?
I do think that AD's might well be the temporary answer for you, it may well just give you that stability of mind that you will need to cope with all the things that you have going on at the moment.
One bit of comfort, in terms of your understandably fear of developing your Mothers illness is that you are probably already over the risk age group for developing this.
It is rare to develop this past thirties really, although not impossible. Also your Mother's drug history is very significant, as her Schizoprhenia probably started as drug induced psychosis, and then, if some one relapses more than twice they are often given the diagnosis of Schizophrenia.
Hope this is reassuring to you. If you have any other questions that you think I might be able to answer you could cat me if you like

MarsLady · 18/08/2006 12:17

pyschomum.... morning. Well, having read all of your revelations since my last post (ages ago), I am SO proud of you. Things can only get better honey. This is a fab place to be when in need of support.

You post away, rant, cry, laugh, shout whatever. We'll be here.

Hope you are having a better day today and that you have an even better one tomorrow.

SaintGeorgeMarple · 18/08/2006 12:31

Oh jeez psycho, just caught up on your posts.

Not going to put all my crap on here, this is about getting you sorted, but please know I am another one here for you to offload on if you ever feel the need. I think you have my email addy (flame has got it anyway)

Re the eating and weight - ask your gp to prescribe something like ForteJuice. 1 or 2 cartons of juice a day alongside anything you can manage to eat will be a massive benefit to you right now.

Onwards and upwards mate.

xx

MerlinsBeard · 18/08/2006 13:19

Popped on to see how u slept, glad was a decent one

Please don't give your self a countdown, one day at a time eh?

Here if you need me (but u have to ASK)

MerlinsBeard · 18/08/2006 13:20

meaning that u need to tell me rather than please can i talk to you....shutting up now

psychomum5 · 18/08/2006 15:11

I am getting more and more stunned by just how much support you are all giving. never occured to me that i would get so much.....never never!

i am feeling so humble by you all....everyone here seems to have so many more needs than me (i think anyway, not saying its true IYGWIM?).....i never expected this. thankyou all so very very much.

i have just got back from physio, and she made me cry too......she asked how i was which opened some floodgates......suffice to say that she too understand me. her brother was a schizophrenic from having LSD, which stunned me some as she then went on to say some of how she has been affected deeply by it all and was heading down too....she recommends private counselling rather than GP reffered as i am in need now....she herself went and just had three sessions seemed to be enough to fix her.
she did say tho that i have many many more issues so to expect more sessions.....so i reckon on 6..

until you talk about these things it stays hidden so much, and then you find that others are indeed having issues and you are not alone.

soooooo....thankyou all.......i am humbled by you.

and too......i don't know how to cat....will maybe be on later to find out how to!