Psychomum in need of support please.

[Flamesparrow]

Psychomum has just returned from the doctors. She had a car crash 12 weeks ago, and hasn't been the same since - on painkillers for pains, but also in herself she has deflated

Yesterday (after I blew up at her and yelled lots - due to my own tiredness etc, she just happened to be my target ) she cried a lot, and myself and another friend made her a doctors appointment.

Today she was marched to said appointment (with the other friend), still muttering that she didn't see anything wrong with her and why she should go. She got there and everything came pouring out - how low she is feeling, how she feels that everyone hates her, and how much she wants to stop hurting, and go back to being a normal friend, mother and wife.

She has come home with a prescription for mirtazapine, and sleeping tablets if the first ones don't help with the sleep as well.

She needs support from all angles, but doesn't feel able to write about it herself yet (she knows I am writing this).

This has been so hard to watch, I haven't known what to do or how to help (although we have now established that yelling at her isn't the way to go ), even though I have been through depression myself, I feel so useless.

She doesn't want to be on ADs - family history is making her convinced that she is insane if she is given medication - please can all of you nice sane people on them/who have been on them come and show your faces so she can be reassured.

I want my bubbly friend back.

Hi there catj.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) for you too.

please go to the docs if you feel you need. I didn't go by choice (as you have read), but I so wish I had realised sooner that I needed too (IYGWIM?).

in fact, thinking about my last year, i wish I had given in last years when they suggested them to me (the time that DH was being naughty). I think maybe I wouldn't have got quite so low as I obviously did.

that said....i would have fought more so for me the timing now is probably better...

how are things going for your DD4??? And you....I really can appreciate how hard things must be. I have been there with a sick child in hospital lots and others to care for. I know mine havent been as poorly as your DD, but I can and do empathise and often think of you and how you are coping.

(((((((((catj)))))))))))

Psycho, SIT DOWN WOMAN!!!!!

The only time you sat down on Tuesday was to eat lunch and that was only for 10 minutes before you were up and off being taxi lady again!!

I know you have a busy life and blimey with 5 children things are going to be a bit hectic, but you do need to start thinking about YOU sometimes. Don't have any other children over for the rest of the holidays, if needs be, the children can go to their freinds houses. YOU need a break, not loads of children taking over your house.

I have to honest Honey, I came home on tuesday worry lots about you. I am sure the AD's are helping (though you gotta give em a few more weeks to take full effect)but you aren't going to fully recover if you don't slow down a bit.

It was so lovely to see you on Tuesday, but also very sad as you weren't really yourself (but I think you know that ) Try to get over next week with J and I will look after you while you sit down and relax, I would love to do that for you at the moment.

Take care x x x x x x

(((psycho)))

SOunds like things are normal again in terms if you keeping yourself busy

Nice to hear you sounding more up than in your OP. I know how much you thrive on chaos but i also know how much of a distraction it is as well .

Try and get some time to yourself please.

thinking of you xxxx

(ps...hello calebsmummy....how was ur hol? and are u ok?)

Hi Mom,

Hols were good (if a little loud with 1,2,3 and 4 year olds present) and I am fine thank you How's you?

Psycho, you are more up than your OP, but (and I am not trying to upset you at all Honey) you have a way to go yet before 'normal' (as normal as any of my friends get ) Psycho (why doesn't that sound right normal Psycho!!) is back. If you are up to it we definately need to get together next week..I didn't get to have a proper chat with you on Tuesday. Thinking of you lots x

Hey psycho - haven't checked in on you for a few days sorry, but pleased to hear that you already sound more upbeat that you did a week ago. But blimey - you've put me off having 5 kids!! I hope you have iron on/stick on labels and don't have to actually sew that many?!

Anyway, just a quickie from me I'm afraid, but hoping you manage a good full night's sleep tonight.

Oh god, now reading my posts back it feels like I am putting you down, when you are feeling more positive. I really don't mean to do that, I just know you (like me of course ) are so good at pretending you are fine when you aren't. And I don't want that to happen. I know i haven't known you as long as Flame and other friends, but I do feel as though I really do 'know' you, mainly because as we have talked about many times, we are very similar in loads of ways. I see me in you all of the time and I know exactly what I do and I know you do the same. Sometimes it's because we really have no choice but to get on with it, children need their everyday care etc, but at other times it's because we don't want to deal with everyone asking how we are all of the time so we say we are fine.

Anyway, I am rambling now, as is my way I'm on the end of the phone at any time, so call. You are doing really well, just carry on doing really well and start relying on us, your friends x

hey peeps

ooh, am feeling a wee bit loved by you all.

calebsmummy you know you are right, but then you also know that this is me too.....chaos and noise being my 'thing'. You will definately see a different 'me' tho if we manage to do a day with just the tinies. I will at least be less distracted!!!!

I went to see Anne today, and she hasn't seen me lots recently. Penny has been filling her in tho, and so she was questioning me. I just didn't feel able to talk to her tho, which I know has got to her, but today wasn't the 'right time' (IYGWIM?). Penny rang her and then has seen me this evening and she told me that Anne feels a bit hurt, but I was just not able to talk to her yet, if I ever will. I don't know.....I hate dwelling on myself too much....I am not alone in feeling like pooh and why should everyone worry about me......I am not that important!

Anyhoo.....if I did tell all, everyone may start not liking me that much anymore and that won't do me any good at all!

BUT

Back to today........have spent it bloody knackered.
No sleep on these tabs make me feel most strange, and I was so wanting to do all the uniforms. I got them into piles on my bed in preparation and that was it. they now in piles on the floor, so will try again tomorrow.

and that is another......have no-one to have the kiddies whilst at the physio, and DH is coming home late, so I am going to be in agony by the time he gets back.....can't not go have already had to rearrange this week, and so they will be coming too!!! that is gonna be an experiance[arghhhhh]

ooh, oooh.....went to Venture to see the picture.

want them all....

narrowed down to our free family shot (which is WONDERFUL), and then another 15 for an album.

tis many pennies......DH is letting me tho but it is going to be coming out of the compensation money. I felt tho that we, as a family, have come so close to losing one or more of us at different points (Natasha, Max, Jacob and me being the closest......and I had to be rescutitated after one operation after having Jacob so I was very very close!!)...and so for that reason it was something to celebrate and these shots are so so so good.

Megs is stunning tho....she proved to be the hardest to whittle down. I will post said pics once they are here....we are so very proud of them all, and I have to say, we make beautiful children.
in fact.....have cried lots tonoight as it is so clear how we are as a family and that is something so very special, even if I am 'not me' at the moment.

am now having to do lots of grovelling tho for thank DH for agreeing.....maybe some of the rudies type!!!!!!

Hi PM

You sound much more upbeat but you do need to slow down hun or you will end up the way I was a couple of months ago. I know it is easyer said than done but you need to find some you time.

Psycho, you do have beuatiful, wonderful and well behaved (even if you don't think so) children! Megan certainly is stunning, you are going to have to watch that young lady as she gets older, she will get a LOT of attention!!! Als would have liked to have spent some time with her on Tuesday, but was rather put off by the many preteen hair flicking girlies she had around her...do they smile? Do they talk? Or do they just flick? Anyway, we are getting Als and Megs married off (a stunning couple I think) and then we can be in-laws and hate each other

Waffling AGAIN!!!

Yes, I do know I am right and I do think that with just the little ones you would relax more and I do know you thrive on chaos, just not that much chaos!!!!

As for Anne, if you don't feel you can talk to her or anyone else for that matter, then that is your choice and yours alone. No-one can make you talk about things you don't want to. Umm, and no matter what you spoke about , we still wouldn't hate you. I know how much you have been through during your whole life.

Anyway, I shall shut up now....why don't I just ring....probably cos I know it's easy to type things here

Take care and you DO sound lots better x x x x x x

PS Will S pay for our photos too?

(((psycho)) still thinking of you

and ((calebsmummy)) coz i know you too r hiding xxx

Wondering how u r psycho, having trouble getting into escape, altho doubt u have posted there tbh xxx

Hi PM how are you?

I have done a Sparrow's view of how Psycho is at the moment here (I hope you don't mind, I wanted to thank people )