Help

[HugAndRoll]

Help I am having a mental breakdown. I need help. I've been self harming, have a plan to kill myself but not a timeline. I have a GP appointment on Friday but I don't think I can wait that long. I don't know what to do.

I posted a little while ago under a name change slipperyslopetodestruction but I can't be bothered to change now. I don't care anymore.

Thank you all. Food was good as was the accompanying Diserono she brought. I'm now in bed and will try and get some sleep.

I truly appreciate each and every comment on my thread. You have no idea how much they help. Xx

Was just popping in to check on you before I head off to bed.

Glad to hear you had a good evening and hope you manage to get some sleep.

Hugs , glad you had some nice food and had a nice night . One step at a time , and we all here to help .
Even though I've never meet any of these people in real life , you can tell from the compassion that is being offered , that even though we all from different backgrounds , we all want you to be happy .

It took a long time for me to get to sleep but when I was it was fairly good quality.

I'm trying to decide what to do with the boys today. I want to try and get out, even if it's just for a couple of hours but the weather is a bit grim and ds1 objects to being wet.

I'm so glad you had a bit of sleep. Hope you are having a good day today.

The weather wasn't great but I took my boys to a really lovely special needs play scheme so we had a good day.

Today wasn't really any different to usual Saturdays as I would have the boys on my own anyway. I didn't have much time to think about life etc which was good.

Good for you Hug

Glad you had a good day Hug.

Keeping busy is good and you are amazing for making yourself get up and out with the boys.

I'm a bit lonely tonight. I suppose I need to get used to it. I oddly feel calmer than I have for a long time though, maybe I need to have a rota of friends to come over and keep me company. It's stupid because even when H was here we were always in different rooms but there was still noise whereas, other than the TV, there's now silence.

They are good suggestions, thank you Polter.

No I haven't. I definitely have sensory issues though, it may be worth looking into getting something done about them.

H was going to come to two pre-planned events with me and the boys today but has cancelled. I understand why (he's very down and upset) but I can't help a little knot of anger at the fact the children have been let down. It's unfair of me to think like that but I can't help it.

Hug, just checking in to say hello, and see how things are going.

Glad you had a good day yesterday.

I have tv or radio on all the time, otherwise I feel all scritchy. Dh has got used to the fact that I can't go to sleep without radio 4 on.

It isn't unfair to feel angry, angry is fair enough.

I did the events and they were good. H has come over, he will put the boys to bed tonight so I do feel guilty for being cross earlier.

My stomach is in knots and I can't relax though. I just feel so guilty for him being upset.

I have no idea. He won't talk to me about it until the boys are in bed which is fair enough. I'm very nervous though.

Hey hug.mglad you've had a good weekend. Sorry for my absence I had a migraine last night so have been pretty useless today.

Thinking of you Hug

He said some things, I felt guilty. He didn't want me to so then he felt guilty. He wants me back, I'm definitely not in the same place. That again makes me feel guilty.

Bad person ----> Me.

No not at all. Different does not equal bad. You feel differently from him. Whatever the ins and outs of your relationship, your feelings are as valid as his and if they are different from his then there is no reason why his should take precedence over yours.

You are not responsible for another adult's happiness, even if that person is your H. Let go of the guilt