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Mental health

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Help

255 replies

HugAndRoll · 25/03/2014 21:16

Help I am having a mental breakdown. I need help. I've been self harming, have a plan to kill myself but not a timeline. I have a GP appointment on Friday but I don't think I can wait that long. I don't know what to do.

I posted a little while ago under a name change slipperyslopetodestruction but I can't be bothered to change now. I don't care anymore.

OP posts:
MarvellousMabel · 04/04/2014 14:18

I just want to post and say please don't leave your children without a mother.

Just hold on.

Each day might feel like a year, but each moment you hold on is worth it to your children.

I really hope you get the help you need. I can't imagine how much pain you're in xx

HugAndRoll · 04/04/2014 14:21

I will be going out in a bit to do the school run as I need to pick something up from the doctor for H as he doesn't drive and he's at his mum's.

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homework · 04/04/2014 14:26

Hugs , what happened to you as a child wasn't your fault you have no control over the adults within your life back then . You sound like your suffering from a bit of PTSD , my son relate this to some of the experiences he's gone though from the hands of bully's and I'm in process of finding him a counsellor.
You need a counsellor to help you sort though what's happened to you .

Your children's lives will be duller without you in it . No matter how low you been feeling you still managed to get yourself up each morning , feed those two precious boys of yours get them dressed and even managed most days to get the older one into school when he's not wanted to go . That is a remarkable achievement , when your feeling so down .

I know parents who don't even do this cause they can't be bothered .

You will get though this but you need help to get yourself there and the first step you made is by letting people know , your next step is to see your gp , a good supportive one , get some counselling arranged , see if there any charities that can help with this . Will look up stuff once get back .
Remember people care we all do , your boys do , I'm sure even though your going though a sticky patch in your relationship , your husband still cares about you.

moosemama · 04/04/2014 14:30

Hug, I am late to the thread, but wanted to come and add my support. All of us in the G&C would miss you, you have people in rl that would be devastated and most importantly, your dcs need and love you. You are worth everything to them and I know that isn't what you want to hear right now, but it's true.

Take it from someone who knows. Leaving them would end up with them feeling the same pain you are in now, feeling like it was their fault, that they could have/should have saved you somehow if only they'd been better children. Just as what happened to you was not your fault, we know that it wouldn't be theirs', but just as you find that hard to believe and keep hold of - so would they.

It sounds like we come from similar childhoods and I have been very close to where you are now. I have wished I didn't have children so that I could just let go, because I knew deep down that I could never condemn them to a life of self-blame and unanswered questions.

If you can get someone to have your dc, do it - but head straight to A&E and tell them you need help immediately. Hospitalisation for a short while now may be difficult, but in the long term would be beneficial to both you and them and give you a pathway to a future.

I know you can't see that future at the moment, but it is there, you just need to take steps in the right direction and try to trust. (I do understand how hard this is.)

If you have to wait for someone to come and take care of your dcs, call the Samaritans and stay on the line until you can get to A&E you need solid, rl help and you need it now.

... and keep posting, we are all here for you and not knowing you in rl doesn't change how much we genuinely care about you.

HugAndRoll · 04/04/2014 14:30

I know I need counselling. I'm not entitled to NHS sessions but I have a number to ring.

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RaRaTheNoisyLion · 04/04/2014 14:31

'I was told that I was a difficult child which is why the abuse happened. That no one would put up with me other than H so in essence I'm stupid for not being happy in that relationship'

Which is why you are such a perfect advocate for your children now, who by typical standards might be seen as 'difficult'. You know they are not. You know that they deserve a life free from abuse and kindness. You know because you have experienced first hand the alternative.

The abuse you suffered is continuing. To call you stupid or insist you are not good enough to be in a happy relationship IS abusive and when it comes from someone you were dependent on in your early years, who was supposed to safeguard your mental wellbeing but instead destroyed it well then quite honestly that you have come this far is a miracle.

What that all says to me is 'Step aside world, this gal when healed is a force to be reckoned with and an honour to know!'

But you have to hold on long enough to be able to find appropriate and suitable help.

HugAndRoll · 04/04/2014 14:35

Thank you. I will ring them when the boys are in bed. I have to sort them first. I've been assessed for hospitalisation twice this week and I'm not bad enough.

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RaRaTheNoisyLion · 04/04/2014 14:36

Okay. So you see yourself as not even worth attention from the services.

Their assessments are bollox. just so you know.

PolterGoose · 04/04/2014 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HugAndRoll · 04/04/2014 14:38

Thank you RaRa.

I need to drag myself off the sofa and get out now. I truly do appreciate you all talking to me. Thanks

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moosemama · 04/04/2014 14:39

Why are you not entitled to NHS counselling? Your GP should be putting you in contact with your community mental health services.

this link from the MIND website might help you get access to services and includes links to patient organisations that might be able to help.

ouryve · 04/04/2014 15:05

The boys want their mum, hug. You might not be too keen on you, at the moment, but you are their world and they adore you x

As for your friend, it's probably as simple as a phone battery gone flat. If not, I can recall plenty of times when texts and emails haven't got through to DH, for a variety of reasons. Technology can be a bit crap, sometimes.

HugAndRoll · 04/04/2014 15:11

Moose - I've already had sessions within 12 months. You can't have more than that.

I've seen the crisis team this week and they seem to think I'm not too bad. My life just feels like one big mess, my boys are the only good things it seems.

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ouryve · 04/04/2014 15:14

If you are feeling like this, then you are feeling too bad.

RaRaTheNoisyLion · 04/04/2014 15:17

Well you DESERVE to see them grow into men, and they DESERVE to have you proud of how they turn out.

What if your emotionally manipulative mother told them that you'd killed yourself because of them?

Don't put any of them in that potential situation.

moosemama · 04/04/2014 15:50

Hug, if you are in danger of going ahead with your plans then you are in crisis and they have a duty of care towards you. If GP and community won't help please go to A&E and tell them how desperate you are. You deserve so much better than this.

youarewinning · 04/04/2014 15:58

Hi hug - sorry I've only just come here I've been at work.

You are worth it - worth all the support you need. Your boys love you and we value all your insights in the G&C. We can see it and when you get to the other side of this dark tunnel you'll see it too.

Ring an ambulance, crisis team - anyone who can help you.

If your feeling suicidal you are feeling bad enough.

MariaNearlyEaster · 04/04/2014 17:19

Hug, hiya. The geese are RL friends. Check your pm

HugAndRoll · 04/04/2014 19:45

Thank you all and thank you Maria.

I have calmed down since picking ds1 up from school, we've had a nice evening so far and a friend is coming with pizza later.

I promise that if I get that low again I will ring Samaritans. There's a part of me that knows I won't go ahead because I love my children too much, it's just when I'm in crisis it's very hard to see the wood for the trees.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 04/04/2014 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hazeyjane · 04/04/2014 20:21

Pizza and friend good. Smile

50KnockingonabiT · 04/04/2014 20:31

Hug, I've just found this thread.

I am sending you virtual hugs and tears are sliding down my cheeks. So much of what you have written I could have written myself. These feeling do pass, believe me, even when you can't possibly believe this for one moment.

The one thing that kept me on this earth was my children, and to this day they keep me going, even now they are officially adults themselves. They'll always be my babies:) Some days it was the fact that I didn't trust their father to look after them that kept me going!

The samaritans offer amazing support in the moment, please use them anytime day or night, they are there for that very thing.

I hope your pizza is delicious and your friend lifts your spirits. I only have one real friend, and she has seen me through many a dark night.

Lots of love, hugs and hand holding coming your way. XX

MariaNearlyEaster · 04/04/2014 22:09

Brew to follow the pizza

PolterGoose · 04/04/2014 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluffyanimal · 04/04/2014 22:40

Just popping by to send you a hug, Hug Smile