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Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Original poster

I just did something (triggering)

341 replies

Messupmum · 09/08/2013 19:40

I don't know if I need help or not. I tied a ligature around my neck so tight - I did it twice. The second I struggled to undo it.

I'm kind of scared, but I felt a sense of calm too. Don't really think I'm having normal thoughts. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 25/08/2013 00:30

Can you get yourself a glass of water or cup of tea? Do you think you could manage to call Samaritans or 999?

HoopHopes · 25/08/2013 00:30

Hi you sound very distressed and I am sorry to hear that. Did the psychiatrist prescribe you any sleeping tablets or prn medication that you could take one dose of right now to help?

I am going to be logged onto MN for half an hour now so if you want to chat I am here!! And I can chat about random silky and distracting normal stuff if that is what you want. Or not!!

Original poster

Messupmum · 25/08/2013 00:35

I just feel like I can't move. I've got something round my neck I keep tightening, also I wasn't going to say this but taken a few too many meds, plus cut over my cut! Sorry I'm such a mess, I want to be away from all of this.

OP posts:

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 25/08/2013 00:43

I understand you want to be away from this but the best way is to get better. Call 999. You need help IRL.

HoopHopes · 25/08/2013 01:03

Hi you have said you want help and you can get help now. Firstly you can get away from things that are dangerous in the house, like a different room. Have you ever phoned or texted the Samaritans, they can be a great help and good distraction. No they are not a magic cure but a help.

funkypigeon · 25/08/2013 01:03

Hi OP, I've read the whole thread, and I am here for you.

Right here. Post something love, I'm here.

HoopHopes · 25/08/2013 01:04

What can you do that is nice, a treat? Anything to be kind to yourself?

HoopHopes · 25/08/2013 01:05

What about going to a minor injuries unit or a and e for medical treatment?

Original poster

Messupmum · 25/08/2013 01:09

I don't deserve anything nice for the thoughts I'm having. I rang out of hours, because I'm scared I can't control these thoughts and actions, and no matter how badly I want to die, I know it's not the right thing. However if it happens, it happens, and I hope people will understand. It can't be normal to be sat with a noose and taking too many tablets (I've not told them that).

OP posts:

HoopHopes · 25/08/2013 01:16

What have out of hours done, are they offering you an appointment? You may not feel you deserve anything nice but recovery is a process and it is about taking the help offered and using it. So why not think of one kind thing you could do for you that would be good for you... Such as a warm drink and biscuit, such as going into a different room from the dangerous things. Crisis team used to tell me to switch tv onto a nice programme, or DVD, not necessarily to watch but to have on as a gentle distraction.

funkypigeon · 25/08/2013 01:20

You're right, it's not the right thing. You deserve to get the help you need, that's why enough is enough now, you are suffering and you now NEED 999.

Please call them, you won't be alone anymore and they'll look after you.

lottieandmia · 25/08/2013 01:22

OP - this is not your fault - you have an illness. You deserve nice things and you deserve to get well again. A distraction would be a good idea - do you have a favourite film?

lottieandmia · 25/08/2013 01:27

I think that from what you say you need to be in hospital for a while at least. You need to be taken care of right now. I had a hospital admission once and the staff were very kind to me and it was the right place for me at that time.

Original poster

Messupmum · 25/08/2013 01:31

I don't know what to do, I'm in bed(fully clothed, still with ligature, using it more but not properly) some are saying 999, others saying distraction. Icant see straight, feel dizzy. Out of hours haven't called back yet. I'm so scared, I'd rather not be here than dealing with this and making others suffer.

OP posts:

thornrose · 25/08/2013 01:37

Please call 999, you don't want to die because you are so clearly crying out for help. I think it's too late for distraction, you are in dire need.

cafecito · 25/08/2013 01:44

OP, I was suicidal a few times, very much so, and now I am SO so glad I didn't do it. At the time it seemed like the only way out but now I know if I had taken my life, not only would DC have suffered enormously, despite my thinking I am a shit mum and they're better off without me, they could have thought it was their fault, I didn't love them, or whatever they could have felt, on some level this would have haunted them. I also would never have got to see the light around the corner. It can get better, I promise you it can even if you can't see that crevice of light yet in the darkness. Please put the ligature down, please. Can you tell us what tablets you took? Can you call 999?

cafecito · 25/08/2013 01:45

OP I am a medical student, not a doctor, but I have been there myself. If you cannot get to a safe place yourself now like an A&E department, You must call 999. You know it's not the right thing, you know it's not the right way or the right time. Please. Please please please.

cafecito · 25/08/2013 01:47

You're not making anyone else suffer by being here, I promise you that. You're not alone. There is light somewhere and you'll be helped finding it again. I promise it is possible.

Original poster

Messupmum · 25/08/2013 01:52

I took 600mg sertraline, not enough. Out of hours just rang and asked me to go to their urgent care clinic. I just agreed but I'm too tired now to move, and I know they won't do anything

OP posts:

cafecito · 25/08/2013 01:59

Where is the clinic?

thornrose · 25/08/2013 02:00

Will they really not do anything? Can you get a cab there and at least talk to someone?

cafecito · 25/08/2013 02:01

I think you should stay awake. You are dressed. You have taken an overdose of your antidepressant and feel unsafe. As long as you feel unsafe you must be somewhere you can be made safe until you feel strong enough yourself.
Really, if you don't believe they will help you, is your nearest A&E much further? I would not want you to go to sleep when you feel like this I would urge you to go in.

cafecito · 25/08/2013 02:04

I have felt so terrified before, scared of what I was capable of doing to myself and terrified by my sudden decreased ability to fight those urges.
I was told I MUST go to A&E, just walk in off the street at any time, if I ever felt unsafe. I have since worked A&E nights, and I can promise you I would much rather someone came in and tell me how they are feeling and what is going on for them than struggle on their own at home. It's my role to help and I would never want anyone to stay alone when they can walk straight in through the automatic doors and be seen 24 hours a day. It's so, so so important.

thornrose · 25/08/2013 02:13

I don't even know you and I want you to live!

You seem desperate for help, please, please do what you can to get that help.

cafecito · 25/08/2013 02:59

OP I hope you are ok and have gone in to speak to someone and get some help.

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