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[ThatVikRinA22]

My Friends... theres no need to feel down
i said My Friends..Pick yourself off the ground
i said My Friends, cause youre in a new town
theres no need to be unhappy....

Our new thread folks (number 5!!).....i need to dash as im on nights but i will be back!
love to all. xxx

Ed I think your doing great, the main thing is that everyone is fed. Let yourself off the hook, fix a time in your head to deal with the mail, and get someone to help you? Much love to you

I beat myself up all the time with the stuff that I haven't done, I'm my own worst enemy.

My gosh, that stuff about communication resonated with me Nana. I'm the same with my Dh, all the childhood stuff surfaces. Its not pretty

I'm in tesco.

I just want to sit and cry.

Dtd1 is being a lottle shit. I can't cope with her.

I just want to sit and cry.

just come on here and seen your post ed
can you go the caffe and have a drink so you can both calm down/catch your breath...then make a BRIEF list of essential shopping, get what you need and then get out?

so, have completed my course..has been a hard couple of days, but Ive done it!
Sadly feeling irritated a lot tonight...sigh...lots of issues surrounding career/marriage/family/sharing of responsibilities...sigh...trying not to be snappy on grounds of unresolved frustrations.....

house sadly in is in TOTAL chaos....am not bothering for tonight but will need to tackle at wekend, but will; do my "15 min" approach where I tackle any task for 15 mins then get to have 10 min break...maybe not the most productive but it does stop me feeling totally overwhelmed and then not doing anything...

considering need for marriage counselling but not sure where it may lead....
am allowing myself some wine tonight as it's Friday

Hi everyone.

bobbly wine sounds like a v gd plan. Congrats on finishing yr course! Relationship stuff is hard when your head poorly isn't it. I go between wanting to try and improve communication and connect more with dh to just being so irritated.

Hi Ed sounds like a tough day. Hope you're able to relax a bit now.

hoochy sympathies re the critical voice - no fun.

ua your pub sounds fab. Could almost do with a real fire tonight!

Dh bought some nice moisturiser and has promised me a foot rub. Which is kind and I do like them. Just need to get past the irritation factor which has reared its head tonight.

(((Ed)))) you are going to be OK, can you just have a look on the haven/park resorts sites? Are these were you are to spend your vouchers? Will take your mind off things - so horrible when you have health worries, like you say, its the "what if" that sneaks in, then that what if becomes a "yeah but" as in, I will be plodding along quite nicely and feel relaxed and up pops the "yeah but"........

Well, you know i said i was giving my DD one of my things that mean a lot to me for my birthday - this thing had been shut away on the top of my wardrobe - its a cobra and mongoose that i brought back from australia when i was 7 (disclaimer: would never dream of buying anything like this now) i was absolutely fascinated by it. Anyway, the mongose has developed alopecia and lots most of its hair DD was still pleased with it and pleased with her other bits and pieces. We had a nice meal and im knackered and for some reason some idiot is letting off fireworks my dog is quivvering!

very jealous of the foot rub CiQ, great as my DP is, a foot rub would be one step too far for him

A good day for me - love to all xxx

Well done for finishing your course bobbly

how are you doing tonight ed? you are up and down - i know that feeling.

i hope you managed to get out of Tesco unscathed.

me....good day. ish.
work - i worked with a different team today full of people who actually like me.....they like me. me! they hate the bully on my group and have said that i would be welcome to go and work with them if i can wangle an attachment, which made me feel way better.
its really not me. the group im on is shit. seems i was the only one who hadnt cottoned on to that fact.

so great day today. i was told i just stay exactly as i am. its weird that i get on really well with everyone by my own bloody group. weird. odd dynamics on my group though - too many women.

tonight not so great.
argument with DD after i found she lied about where she was and who with earlier. She got found out.
she turned it back around and says im as bad because she found my cigarettes in my bag....
forced me to tell hubby that i had been having a crafty fag occasionally

DD felt righteous despite having been a fibber tonight.
DS is not faring so well....i can see a crash coming. not sure i can contemplate what happens next....
DH has fallen out with me because he is tired and grumpy.

but im ok really. remembered my meds today. feel reassured re work by the people i worked with today, and who have made it clear they trust me, like me, and would welcome me to work with them. We talked about telly we liked and no one turned their nose up at me for being a snob

im really going to try and stop worrying about what my group think (the people i worked with today said i am welcome to go and natter and drink tea with them, which is nice....they seem at first to be a rather intimidating group but they are lovely....)

i really dont think it is me thats at fault. ive given too much info away but im learning that i need to shut up - and i need to start standing up for myself with the bullies (who it appears no one else thinks very highly of anyway apart from the suck ups on my own group who just fall in with them....)

so feeling newly reassured i will arm myself with that for tomorrow....

I'm ok.

I'm in bed

Dunno why today was so tough.

I was just really short tempered. Even 3 children talking excitedly at once got to me.

Dtd1 had her back up because of something I didn't do yesterday. She kind of has a fair point (dtd2 revealed cause).

House is a tip.

Gerbils have been out for a run...and 2 tried to escape...need to rethink their playtime as the big box we use clearly isn't deep enough. One of them is a right little indiana jones character. She even uses the wire roof as monkey bars..

Have promised some crafts tomorrow on the promise we have some group tidy time. That usually does wonders for the house. 15 mins. 4 people working hard. And they want to do paper maiche which means lots of breaks to do more tidying...I've been a bit cunning .

Now I need to sleep.

Hugs and blankets to all.

Right.

I'm up.

I'm about to get dressed.

I'm holding childrens craft sessions in the village hall today....all welcome. But you have to do a minimum of 15 mins housework to be eligible to join in.

Lots of glue, paint and mess anticipated.

Great my dcs will come when dd has finished her homework...

morning all
Ed sorry yesterday was such a bad day. I totally get the excited dc all talking at once thing...when I'm struggling I get really sensitive to noise...and being in my house with the DC even when they are all just chatting can drive me over the edge.
We'd love to attend the craft session please

vicar glad yesterday was so positive. I also tend to always assume that it is me that is the problem when there are difficult dynamics between people...but in reality that isn't always the case!

lem glad dd liked the present. Hope doggy has recovered from irritating fireworks.

ciq hope you had a nice footrub!

I am deciding to stay positive today! House is a total tip, but I am doing 15 minute blasts so I don't get overwhelmed!
so far have done some washing, breakfast and the walked down to the post office with ddog2 to collect a parcel. feeling virtuous for walking, (only about a 3 mile round trip!) but have determined to start getting more exercise.

Next I'm going to print off some pictures for dd4's Ireland homework...then dust and hoover the lounge...

will eventually get on to tackling the upstairs but that is much worse

hope everyone else is having a good day today.

Hello my lovelies,

((( Ed))), I'll lend you a hand in the hall, and bring some yummy cakes and drinks to keep us going.

Really nice posts Bobblypop Congratulations on finishing the course

And what's with the footrubs! I'm jealous

Do we have a spa/beauty parlour/hairdressers place ? If not, why not!!

Unbelievably I have a interview on Friday, with the young offenders team here. Aaarrgghh!
So scared and excited at the same time I will go, and have the experience.

Remembering what Vicar said about not thinking of it until it happens. Hope I can do this, otherwise I'll be a wreck.

Hugs and kisses to all-XOXOXOX

Snowy I worry when you are missing. Can you pop in to say Hello - suspect you are still low. Is your CPN back next week (she seems to have been away ages)

just popping in to wish everyone a relaxing evening - i feel a bit out of the loop in terms of where everyone is up to....im just not getting chance to catch up but want everyone to know i am thinking of them....

vicar don't worry too much about keeping up, your posts recently have been, frankly, inspirational.

Re: DS. Would it be worth ringing the lady with whom he is lodging, who aiui is also his employer? I imagine she knows he has AS?

He is entitled by law to reasonable adjustments, if he has declared to his employer that he has AS.

Sorry I'm not keeping up. My CPN is away for another week yet.

Sending you a hug snowy.

Just looking in, hoping everyone having a good/ok weekend. Weekends are easier for me, i am aware that they are harder for others. I have and am trying to think what to download on my kindle, finished the scary story, disappointing ending.

Hi everyone,

(((Hugs))) snowy.

Hi vicar Ed nana hoochy bobbly lem
*hoochy ( Thanks for the lovely post and good luck with the interview - that's just brilliant.

footrub was nice thanks!

Decided to double my trazodone last night to see if I'd have any side effects - Gp said to double up before a particular stressful day - which next sat will be. Feel calm today but could also be hormones/placebo anyhow no side effects so will do same for Fri and Sat I think.

Been reading about arrested emotional development today (as you do). For years I've often felt immature in social situations, when talking to people I sometimes feel like a young teen in terms of ability to relate and respond. So anyhow don't know how the term came to me but several things struck a chord. Difficulty coping with everyday life, frustrations with loved ones and other stuff I can't remember now.

It's not a major thing with me - usually its associated with major childhood trauma and leads to significant dependencies eg alcohol and failed relationships. But some struck a chord. My mum had a major breakdown when I was under 10 eg 7. Don't know much about it apart from her complaining about deadening knock out meds, and she was unable to do anything except tapestry.

I've never asked who looked after me during that time. I suspect no-one as my dad was at work. I know lots of people have far tougher experiences but I've found it a helpful perspective and part of understanding how I am now.

Now - enjoying . Love to all x

X post Cheers lem

I felt as you did re immaturity etc - in my case I think it's a trait of AS. I have learned over the years, and am not bad at it now, though it took well into my 40's and I find it exhausting to keep up for extended periods of time. It also used to make me feel inadequate, lonely and depressed but those days are long gone :)

ambiguity *it also used = immaturity etc

Interesting spc my uncle (brother of dm) I think would now have been diagnosed on the autistic spectrum. Some of my mums behaviour eg inability/lack of awareness of others emotions/effect of your words eg at one point dm telling me she would be happy to die now so she could go to heaven rings bells too.