Coo such a lot of posts - I day dreamed in the deckchair today in the sun, wondering about you all, and wondering where you lived and what you looked like!
Lem really glad you have a good relationship with your GP as this is so important. You won't I'm sure have to press for a referral to a psych if that's what you think you need, as she will probably be ok with it, if it is going to help. I was just thinking of some male GP thinking you wanted to "go over his head" (I know I shouldn't make blanket assertions about males! comes from my 1970s feminist days - remember them SPC?) In fairness most of the male GPs at my practice are very courteous and competent but I do have a lovely woman GP but you can never get an appt because she is so popular, but I ask if she will ring me (do all surgeries do this consultation by phone if you ring before 11) and she gives me an appt.
Oh before I forget Bassett thank you so much for that wonderful poem. I have copied it out to send to my 2 closest and dearest women friends. Do you know who wrote it.
Interesting that there is talk of religion/going to church on here. I was brought up as a Catholic and my parents were staunch Catholics till they died. I am now lapsed.......this sounds familiar - think I might have said all this before - if so sorry. Someone (maybe Bassett) said that church just seemed a restful place. I know that feeling especially if they are empty and you wonder in them by chance. In France on holiday one year we did this to get out of the heat and as if my magic some wonderful singing started (no it wasn't the heavenly angels, but a choir practice!) I always light a candle and sit and think at such times.
My son and dil and g/chdrn live in the republic of Ireland which is Catholic and when I am there I do go to mass, and all my childhood memories come back. Mind when I was a kid, the mass was Latin and seemed so much longer.....Lem I do hope you don't mean what I think you might mean when you talk of some incident/experience making you "lose" your faith. The thing is for me that Catholics still teach the "creation theory" and this just doesn't make any sense at all now that we know so much about the evolution theory. As a scientist Lem you surely can't believe in that "creation theory"??? I remember as a kid asking difficult questions and being told by teachers that it was a "mystery of faith" hmm ....I didn't really swallow that then and I certainly don't now. The other thing is all the sexual abuse that has gone on with Catholic priests over the years, which has been swept under the carpet. Sorry I'm pretty sure I'm repeating myself.
UA so sorry you are having such a grim time, and I know that your sister has bipolar disorder, and that you could possibly be diagnosed with the illness. Would it be better if/when you are properly diagnosed so that you can get the right treatment. A friend of a friend has bipolar and she manages very well so long as she takes the meds, but has to have regular blood tests related to the drug she takes (lithium) I think. I read a book by Kay Redfield called the "Unquiet Mind" - she is a psychiatrist with bi-polar and I'm sure you could get it from Amazon if you wanted it. I read it long before I was struck down with mental illness but remember being very impressed with her ability to try as far as possible to get control over the illness.
Ed It was me colouring in the little garden room. Hope that doesn't sound pretentious. It is a little room (so can't call it a conservatory) and we have only had it for a couple of years with the money that DPs dad left us when he died. It replaced an old coal house that had been here since we moved in in 1975! It is a lovely room, with glass doors and nice big windows, and yes a few plants and comfy chairs. We don't really use it that much so I like to use it in the light summer evenings. I am nowhere near as slim or serene as Miss Marples though, with her little bun and intent expression! Incidentally I did say I wondered if Lem was a perfectionist, rather than diagnosing her!!
Your posts always make me smile and I found myself wondering about you and your girls this afternoon in the sun!
Hoochy yes I think 3 weeks is "early days" and I think you mentioned back along that you were starting to feel better, and you are managing your placement too. I had a really bad start in my social work training (it was CQSW in those days) and it was 2 years in college but we were out on placement within the first 2 months. My first placement was a real ordeal. My little boy was only 6 and had to be looked after after school and my eldest son was 12 but I had been at home for most of those years, so going out and doing the course was a big deal. My supervisor was a pernickity little chap (I later found out I was his first student) I just felt so out of my depth and remember crying on my way to work and was not mentally ill then, though thinking about it, it does suggest that I had a big reaction to the stress I felt.
I think you are between a rock and a hard place with teaching and social work to be honest. Public services in my experience run on goodwill. I used to routinely work around 50 hours in my first years (instead of my 37.5) until I became more confident. Mind I did love my job and feel I was very fortunate to have a job I loved. I saw such poverty and people existing on the margins of society, without any hope of anything better really.
Hello to everyone else. Incidentally is anyone on FB. My dil got me on it, and I love it cus I get to see photos of my grandchildren and keep in touch with my many nieces, nephews, great ns and nphs and even great great ones! My lovely grand daughter has just turned 13 and is allowed on FB so it's lovely to "talk" to her and have a nosey at what she's doing! though I see her every week.
Yes there is a lot of brain power on here Basset and people centred occupations. I would love to volunteer for Samaritans, but not sure I'd be accepted - depression took away my confidence. My close friend is a Sams volunteer and says that 80% of the calls and e mails are mental health related.
All for now.........think I've said quite enough!!