Hello Hoochy and welcome. I think the trouble is with dep/anx it is something that can (and often does) re-occur. If you have 1 severe episode you have a 50% chance of a second one, though I am talking severe (needing admission to psych ward) I had my first major episode of depression/anx in 1995 following the death of my closest friend. 3 months stay on psych ward - made complete recovery and got on with my life and stayed on the meds (100mg imipramine - an old fashioned AD tryclic) till 2008. I tried coming off them a couple of times on my own and another twice with GP advice, and each time I had withdrawal symptoms and went back on them. Incidentally the GPs never mentioned withdrawal symptoms and said the depression had returned and should stay on meds. Oh how I wish I had taken that advice.
In 2008 I began seeing a psychiatrist who had an expertise in helping people come off prescribed meds. She told me I needed to be in charge of the reduction and not to reduce any more than 25 mg per month. I decided to reduce 10 mg per month and was off them by July 2009. Had some life stresses in the autumn of 09, broke my leg, grand-daughter very ill and I got campylobacter (like salmonella) which laid me low for weeks. By Christmas 09 I was a physical and emotional wreck and began to suspect that dep/anx was building up again and I went back to the pyschologist (who didn't believe in ADs) and saw her for 3 months and I was getting worse and worse. Finally I caved in Easter 2010 and again was admitted to pysch ward with 3 month stay. However this time I haven't made a complete recovery and I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the past 3 years, but with far more good days than bad. Beginning to stabilise now after psych adding mirtazipan 30mg to my existing prescription (now 200mg) so double what I was on for all those years. I bitterly regret ever coming off the meds in the first place. I had no side effects and held down a responsible job.
Sorry that took longer than I intended........I suppose this is why I wonder why people do come off meds if they are well and they are not causing side effects, but I know many people come off them successfully. I am 69 so I have less time to go on them for "life" than many younger women!!
You have a lot on your plate Hoochy but glad you are starting to feel better, and the side effects will probably subside over time. Can I ask if you were on sertraline before. Yes the irony indeed of a placement in the MH team - you might pick up some useful info! You mention being scared of having to drop out and this sounds like anxiety, as that is the medical name for fear........I think you need to take care because if your stress levels get very high, or your anxiety worsens, you could not make the recovery that is essential for you. Is it absolutely esential that you complete the MA - could you not postpone it if it becomes too much? Incidentally what profession are you heading for................?
Lem I think you need to but the thing about find a job on the back burner. Your DH is telling you to do this, but I guess you are feeling bad/guilty about not making your contribution to the household expenses. You wouldn't be thinking of getting a job if you had a serious physical illness, and would realise that you would need to fully recover first. Unfortunately with mental illness, we think we should be able to "make ourselves better" and even feel guilty and (in my case) ashamed of the illness. You are far from well and if you try a job now, it will I am sure delay your recovery. A very wise psychiatrist told me on my first admission "don't do anything that is an ordeal" - many people don't have the luxury to decide, but you do, so please stop worrying. You have years and years ahead of you to work outside of the home.
UA I am a bit worried about answering as you are one of the poster on this thread person who I know little about. I have see your post about your dad's demise and the worry of all that, when you are suffering with mental health problems. Funerals are a ridiculous cost and it can be done much cheaper on a DIY basis, but when people are bereaved is not the time to research this.
QofK I know sooooo well that feeling of wanting to sleep and hide. Somehow the emotional pain seems less if we are under the duvet. My CPN was dead against it, but nice as she was, she hadn't ever suffered from MH issues herself and I think only people who experience the torment of mental illness themselves can understand. Oh god I am always saying that!!
Miggsie where are you - can you come back for a little while.
Ed glad you are having a good day. I know so well those disgusting half cucumbers in the fridge and other gunk at the bottom of the sala/veg drawers!!