Bipolar support thread?

[Crawling]

Ive noticed there are quite a few of us and thought maybe a thread for us would be good. All are welcome those diagnosed and those awaiting diagnosis.

Ill start with Ive been depressed so long now I dont remember how I used to feel, yet id still prefer this to mania as the havoc I reaked last time was very painful to clean up after my episode. If I had to chart my mood today between 1-10 1 being I cant think how to make a cup of tea and 5 being good 10 being the tv is talking to me and I must go out now im about a 3 today what about you guys?

[funnymum71]

I need to get my arse in gear and actually fill in the forms. I'm just procrastinating at the mo.

[raininginbaltimore]

I'm on 1000g lithium and 150mg venlafaxine.

I can't sleep again at moment. I've written my letter requesting part time. Just need to pluck up courage to actuall send it.

[Crawling]

Oh raining I hope you get the part time hours. Do you think you are likely too?

[fedupandtired]

I'm on 300-500mg quetiapine. I prefer to be on as low a dose as possible, my doctor prefers a higher dose so we compromise with me increasing when necessary.

[raininginbaltimore]

I'm not sure. I was three days a week after my son was born and that was great, apart from being a head of dept. so I'm asking to drop that too. But if they can't afford it and can show it isn't reasonable, then I think I will have to quit. Long term I can't do the job with management responsibility. I do we'll for a while and then burn out and this continues in a cycle.

[springpotatoe]

I can't do any management style jobs either. It is the stress which makes me crazy. I get paranoid and start to selfharm. I use to be very good dealing with stress but after the first long episode my nerves had disappeared.

[Crawling]

Im not feeling to good today I think my mood has dropped to a 2. I just feel like everything is on top of me and like I want to hide from everything. I keep crying for little reason and feel like im a really really crap mum and I have a bad head.

[daisydee43]

Hi everyone, dh has had bipolar the whole time I've known him and at times I feel like I can't quite understand and don't know what to do. He used to have massive episodes that would erupt in an all night destroying the house and punching walls etc. he's not been like that for a while (since dd was born) but now he says he hates his job after a recent back injury and he's mood swings are so severe that we just had an argument about a takeaway. He's now put himself in a dark room and doesn't want to talk, really want to support him in this difficult time and god knows I know what it's like to hate my job, any tips?

[Crawling]

I would say dont push him to talk it will mean the world to him that youre there.

Try to encourage him to do little things like bath wash eat but if he doesnt want to dont push.

Feel free to post here for support as I know being a partner must be hard.

If he talks listen unjudgementally and dont take anything he says personally.

Is he still going to work? Try doing some small things to help like run him a bath give him some alone time if he wants it ir if he doesnt stay nearby in order to reassure.

[springpotatoe]

I have mood swings at the moment. Last night I got really angry. Managed to fall asleep but woke up at 1am and stayed in my bed feeling furious until 4, when I fell asleep again. Woke up really angry again. Anger changed to anxiety and sadness. atm really depressed. When i am angry my partner feels like a stranger. Nothing he sayd helps really. better leave me alone.

My partner does not really know what to do. He sent a nice text saying to me this afternoon saying he would like to help me, but does know how.

[daisydee43]

Dh has just gone out not sure where? I have taken ur advice and just assured him I'm there for him. He likes peace and quiet when he comes in but today dd was a bit loud. He says he's fed up of me ruining his evenings. It's a crazy world to live in, one minute he's the happiest and nicest person in the world and the next, he doesn't want to know you and the smallest things can set him off its like treading on egg shells atm

[Bunfags]

Hi Crawling and others. Sorry to hear that so many of us are going through this.

I was diagnosed nearly 4 years ago. I'm ultra sensitive to meds, so I'm just on 200mg of lamotrigine.

fedupandtired, I've had to totally reorganise my life too. I feel so bad for DP nd DS. I have mainly been stable, but I had a really bad depressive episode recently. I can't actually remember a lot of it, but the crisis team have been coming round. They tried my on olanzipine, but it made me sleep walk. I was fetching bowls of cereal to feed to Dick Turpin and his horses that were living under my coffee table. DP told me, but I don't remember it.

I've turned the corner and not in danger of suicide, thankfully just in time, as they were talking about hospital. I still feel like the most repugnant waste of space on the face of this planet though.

Thanks for listening.

[Crawling]

Daisy is he manic or depressed? I think your amazing for being willing to work through this.

Funbags welcome Im so sorry your not feeling well and sad that you have to change your life (personally im much stabler as a SAHM it makes me scared of reentering the work place) Im on olanzapine 10mg seroxat 30mg and 50mg trazodone I also sleep walk on olanzapine (I do it normally but now much woerse) me and dp have set up a code word because I have to take it after feeding the baby and I sometimes fall asleep.

one night I sat up in bed put them in my mouth lied back down while asleep and dp didnt realise I found the pills the next night when I got in bed so lucky the kids didnt get them.

[Crawling]

sorry bunfags not funbags

[springpotatoe]

Interesting this CT thing here in UK. I have lived other countries and they did not have any CT. If you felt suicidal you told your doctor/psych.nurse or went to A&E. Then you we sent either to hospital or back home (without any extra support like CT). I never told anyone before my suicide attempts or major SH sessions. I did not really look suicidal either, as I suffer mostly mixed states. Do you tell your cpns etc. if you feel suicidal?

[Crawling]

Yes I told my cpn I was starting to think about self harm on the Tuesday ( when it was just a urge but before I had done it) and I had a app with pychiatrist on the Friday to up my doses.

[springpotatoe]

That's interetsing. I do have urges, more like intrusive thoughts. I do not act on them. But then I get this big i-have-to-sh, where I make a decision to do something. And then I go and do what ever I had planned.

[Crawling]

Yeah thats the same with me I get urges/thoughts but then I make a plan/decision to do it, but my CPNs are brill they act as soon as there is any sign of SH or suicide.

[Bunfags]

daisydee43, you've got a lot on your plate. Can you just tell him you'll be there for him if he needs you, but just leave him to get on with things? It's not ideal if you have young children.

Crawling, I'm glad you're feeling better as a SAHM and you can enjoy your family. How do you find the medication? I have a kidney problem, so there are loads of things I can't take. It sounds like your DP is supportive, that's good.

[Crawling]

I find it okay im breastfeeding so not alot I can take the only side effects ive had are weight gain but other than that they are great.

It must be horrid with the kidney problem its hard enough to find good meds without added physical problems to consider.

[Crawling]

Can I ask how is the lamotrigine? my pych wants to add a mood stabiliser into the mix once ive finished feeding and I didnt fancy lithium.

[springpotatoe]

I have had lamotrigine. I used to have lithium&lamortragine combo with some other meds. I did not get any side effects from lamotrigine. It prevents depression rather than mania. Lithium has been the best med I ever have had, but it had its side effects.

[Bunfags]

I really like lamotrigine. I've tried some other meds, but they made me feel drugged and I didn't like it The only side effect from the lamotrigine was some heartburn for a couple of weeks when I started taking it. Mixed episodes are my main problem, it really helps with those.

The fact that it's weight neutral is also nice, because I've heard that weight gain can be a real issue with certain meds.

When I start to get manic, I have zopiclone. Getting some sleep for a couple of nights seems to nip it in the bud. The lamotrigine generally keeps me stable.

[Crawling]

Thank you I gguess Il wait and see which one my pychiatrist thinks is best.

[CajaDeLaMemoria]

Hi everyone...I hope you don't mind me joining in here.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar type 2 in November. I got given meds in December - something beginning with V, because my kidney problems are too serious for lithium.

I feel so lost at the moment. We are waiting to move house (current house is freezing and very isolated) but technically have a month of our notice left to go. The new house is ready, and I asked our landlord for permission to leave early last night.

I'm so stressed. I keep crying, I can't concentrate, I'm arguing with DP all the time and I'm getting the most horrid headaches...

I feel so alone :(