Driving away

[Pumble]

I don't know where to post this and don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying again with my 5 week old dd2 and just know that the best thing I could do for both of my girls is to get in the car and drive. If dd2 ever goes to sleep that is what I must do. I won't be leaving them alone and it will break my heart but it's what will be best for them. They deserve so much better than the useless failure of a mother they have.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to feel less alone

Morning Pumble, morning Pumblett 1 and Pumblett 2, and good morning Mr Pumble if you're still keeping up with this thread too.

Pumble, am I right in thinking you started the meds last Thursday? So halfway to them really getting going, yay!

Pumblett 1, glad you're feeling a bit better.

Pumblett 2, thank you for not shouting at Mummy and Daddy last night. Could you try and do it more often?

Mr Pumble, your wife is lovely. But you know that already

Have put kettle on for when you get back from the Post Office.

Fantastic, glad you had a better night!

I always find it's true that 'the darkest hour is before the dawn' ie when things have become so bleak and unbearable it is not sustainable and will quickly improve. One minute both dcs are screaming but the next they're both fast asleep and all is calm. It is just not possible for them to keep going with inadequate sleep, or you either. Whatever has caused the disruption is hopefully passing.

Hope you have a good (or at least ok!) day.

So pleased to hear you had a better night.

Glad to hear Pumblett 1 is feeling better & you also sound good today! Am really hoping that that is the meds kicking in.

((( x )))

Hello lovely Pumble, I'm glad you had a better night last night. I hope you enjoy your walk.

Hi Pumble - good news re the sleep and the lack of screaming. It's a lovely day here (London) so hope the same is true in your neck of the woods and you have a lovely walk.

Hi Pumble - I've been reading the thread on and off but haven't posted much. You do actually sound more 'in control' now than you did at the beginning of the thread, and you should be very proud of yourself that you DID got to the GP and you DID ask for help.

I know that the meds can take a while to start to be effective, but that once they do kick in, they are extremely helpful (not from my experience, but from what others with PND have told me).

Hoping that Pumblett 1 continues to feel better, and glad to hear that Pumblett 2 let you get some rest.

I'm in the throes of sleep deprivation (although not to the extent you are) at the moment as DD has not slept through the night for the last three months. She's on the point of turning 2 and is very much already into the 'terrible' phase, with saying "no" to almost everything I ask, ignoring me, having tantrums and waking at 2,3,4am and then yelling to come into our bed. Unfortunately this week I had two exams at college and I'm sure I've done badly as I was so tired I could barely read the questions, let alone figure out what I was meant to write. Oh well, there are always retakes!

I'm told "this too will pass" so I am just holding on to that.

Did you ever establish whether there were and MN-ers near to you who might be able to help you out, even if it is just someone watching Pumbletts 1 & 2 for an hour or so whilst you get some sleep?

Hello Pumble

Back to see how you are getting on, weekend's nearly here. Hope you are okay.

How is Dd1 doing today? Miss Pumblett as the eldest daughter in Jane Austen books was always referred to. And DD2?

Sympathy, NotGeoffVader, battle song of parents with wakeful infants, "Let me sleeeep". How do they flick on so early before daybreak?

We're doing ok today and managed to get to bedtime all in one piece again last night! Pumblett 2 had a little scream in the evening but it was short lived and then she slept well with one quick feed which was great but pumblett2 kept waking herself up with her blocked nose and coughing so I lost count of the number of times we went into her through the night. Feeling a little shattered as a result but dh was excellent despite having a very early start to travel for work today.

We've been out this morning to see a friend and had a good walk there and back (with a much smaller tantrum on the way home than yesterday!) and I have promised pumblett 1 we can go shopping for bananas after her nap (fingers crossed she has a good nap today rather than yesterdays twenty minute offering).

Feeling a little more in control today and actually enjoyed playing with the pumbletts yesterday afternoon and again today which is such a good feeling.

Fingers crossed DD1 has nice long nap. It all sounds a lot more tolerable and not that seemingly endless negative waah waah building a wall between you and DD2. Pumble you're doing fine.

I'm just so happy to log in & hear good news! x

hi pumble! glad you have enjoyed a good game with the girls
good luck for the rest of the night and tomorrow.

It's one step forward and ten steps back. I hate this.

it's rubbish. But you still had a step forward!

Little steps, Pumble. You're still moving forward though xxx

Pumble, think of it more as three steps forward, two steps back. It may be frustrating, but slowly and steadily you WILL make progress! Go back and read the start of this thread. You sound 10 times as positive as you did back then!

The seesaw is hateful but it will even out, keep faith. Hope you have a good day today.

Hi there Pumble, how're you doing in the snow? We're going out later with snow spikes on my wellies and DS in the sling! No way our car would make it on these hills.

If Pumblett1 gets cabin fever maybe you could make some snow pictures with cotton wool balls?
If you're finding it hard stuck in the house then try breaking the day up into blocks with rewards at the end of each chunk, hot chocolate at 3, biscuits at 4 etc, and get some music on - time passed more slowly for me when it was quiet in the house, it drove me mad.

a wave for team pumble. it's hard when things regress but hang in there! there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Pumble - waving! How's things?

So far tonight I have told pumblett 2 I don't want to be her mummy anymore. Now you're all going to judge me and leave the thread aren't you?

No Pumble we're not going to leave you. What's happened? Have you had a bad day?

Pumble of course we're not. It sounds like you've had a bad day - do you want to talk about it?

Pumblett2 is too little to understand and won't remember. xxx

What's stupid is the days are pretty good at the moment but I just fall apart in the evenings when she won't sleep. I just don't know why I can't get her to settle properly, even if she's not screaming she's not settled.

I know Pumblett2 is still very small but would it help if you described to us a typical day and we can see if we can offer any practical tips? Tell us what's happened this evening?