Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

[zonedout]

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture

oh i forgot-my black cat is called scout and his brother is atticusscout has attatchment issues and follows me if i cannot get him in before i go out.he will keep going until hopelessly lost miaowing anxiously at me all the way until his terror gets the better of him then hides in abush waiting for my return at which as i call he will leapt into my arms miaowing again before trotting at my side headbutting me from time to time to be stroked!atticus is anxious but when he plucks up the courage for a cuddle has the loudest purr ive ever heard!
when we went to the adoption centre scout chose me nudging the cage and as i entered it leapt into my arms nuzzling my face.i turned to dp and said hes the one!his brother was hiding in to nest at the back and was frightened of us but they said we had to take none or both,and that he was a girl called princess!i picked him up and was adamant he was a boy.no no his notes say defo a girl.if you want them we can arrange nuetering in a couple of days.i sighed and said ok.they rang me a couple of days later to say neutering was done and princess was in deed a prince and would i still want them both!!3 days laterdd2 had her birthday party and then we went to collect them

zoo how lovely scout chose you. They sound wonderful. It is indeed today that we have ds1 best friend. He looks miles better this morning and its now been over 48hrs so I'm not so worried about the house, more that he's passed it on to ds1 while they played together yesterday. I'm just hoping he hasn't and have a mental plan if he does get it.

Funny you should all say you have dealt with noro in your house but not been sick, I'm the same but I have had the other end. I think it's our determination to not be sick.

evening all!

hows everyone getting on?

the zoolet girls are starting to power back up
its been weird hearing their voices today after a few days of silence!
apparently limbs stopped hurting and they arent feeling xhausted anymore

ds is still tired

they have had crackerbread,breadsticks and a couple plain biscuits today

tea time i gave them each a lightly buttered roll.they arent very hungry and wanting very bland but its a start

i have forced myself to eat a bit today

Had ds friend over today. If we aren't struck down by Sunday then he hasn't given us the lurgy I'm ignoring that its been 48 hrs and he was fine and if he was ill his parents wouldn't have sent him to school

santa can i ask why sunday?

just wonder as for me i have always gone with 4 days after illness ends before start to reclaim sanity/control

Up to 36 hours incubation for norovirus so that's Sunday. It's usually 24 hours but I don't relax until the full 36 are done. It doesn't help ill feel sick until that time is up in anticipation

im confused
36hours is one and a half days,asssuming we are talking from now is friday pm?

totally understand the anticipation thing

why does anxiety have to make us feel sick?

will you be able to eat til then

Oh, I'm now confused

24-48 hrs says Wikipedia. I'm doing my own head in now.

Well ds2 was sick on a weds at 5pm
Ds1 wasn't sick til Sunday at 11am
Sorry.

Just seen my sis who is pent some of yesterday afternoon with...she was sick yesterday at 4pm.
Sigh.
So, that's today buggered up for me :(

Hi all,

I recognise a few of you from previous posts re: emetophobia but I've only just found this thread. Apologies but I haven't had a chance to read the whole thing.

I am in a complete state at the minute. My emetophobia hasn't been this bad for years and I don't know how to cope. I am a teacher and DD is 20 MO. All this talk of norovirus a week or so ago on the news started to flair up my already quite bad emet but since then we've had cases of noro in the school I work and staff have been advised to use hand gels provided by the school WHICH DON'T EVEN PROTECT AGAINST NORO! So everyone is in a false sense of security. I emailed all staff (because I'm a bit mental ) about how it wouldn't work but the school can't be bothered to reorder and pay for any more haven't taken any notice.

Every day at work this week I've been having palpatations, shaking hands and legs and felt on the verge of a panic attack. I come home and obsessively wash myself and my clothes incase I have got germs to make me sick. I've stopped taking DD out on my days off and we stay at home away from any bugs.

Last night I broke down and told DH how bad things are and he will do what he can to help but there's nothing he really can do. I don't know how I'm going to get through the winter. I don't know how I'm going to get through another day at work. I've booked a GP appointment tomorrow afternoon (after work) to see if they can refer me, but I've already had CBT on NHS and 2 other therapies privately and I'm still here suffering. I haven't felt this bad for years. I just don't think I can muster the strength to go to work and put myself in to a situation where there is norovirus about. My light headed and fainty today from nerves of tomorrow. I'm even contemplating not seeing the GP as I'm so scared there might be bugs in the GP waiting room and I might get something or someone might be sick whilst I'm waiting.

I can't take this any more - my life feels so restricted and I don't know why I ever thought being a teacher and working with lots of children was a good idea or why I thought I could manage being a Mum as I'm just not coping at all.

I'm sorry, this is a ramble, I'm just not coping at all and I'm glad to have found you all (but not glad you are the same as me). Do you think GP will sign me off work? I kind of feel that's the only way initially to get through the next few weeks without having a breakdown. FWIW anyone who meets me wouldn't know there was anything wrong with me as I just hide it and block it.

aw badvoc is she very poorly or just a minor blip?

im so sorry you are having a hard time

i drive dp mad with my "numbers game" as he calls it

he got the hump with me that im still struggling to "behave normally"

SHIT,BUGGER,ARSEHOLES AND STAMP IN IT

reastie welcome

im so sorry things are in such state of crisis at the moment.the i shouldnt be a mum thing is currently in my head

the guys here are great.we all understand how you are reacting

you have been very brave trying to soldier through it

sending big hugs and keep posting

ive found the support here holding me together round the edges

reastie, would it help if you said a bit about when your phobia started?

She was sick once, and she feels unwell in other ways too, bloated, sore throat etc.
So.
Only been 3/4 weeks since dc had it fgs!
I hate this :(
Reastie...my emetophobia seems to come in waves...are you particularly stressed ATM?
I know mine really kicks in due to stress and I am so stressed ATM its crazy!

Thanks for such a lovely welcome. I'm not really sure when it started. I can remember when I was about 6 being at a friends house and she was sick in front of me and I had no anxiety or panic then, so I know I haven't had it my whole life. The only instances I've thought of through therapy is either when DM was pg with my sister (I was 9) and she has morning sickness and I'd run and hide and be scared hearing her retch or when I went on holiday my aunt would come and she was sick and I was trapped in a room along the hall from the bathroom with my sister and remember hearing her be sick and feeling completely trapped and it felt horrible. I wonder if alot of my emet is to do with control, fear of the unexpected and what I can't control or fear of making a scene if I am sick, or just the sensation of it as I've always been awful about being sick my whole life. I'm 30 and I'd say it's been full flown emetophobia for at least half of my life. It goes through stages of being a bit better and then worse depending on how I am mentally in my life, but it's always a bit worse in winter anyway with all the bugs around, and also I've only ever got to the point of coping on a daily basis using specific behaviours to protect myself, I've never coped if I'm having to deal with 'it' or it feels close by IYKWIM.

I don't eat out anywhere, ever. I don't stay in hotels, go on planes, don't do soft play with DD. I avoid places with lots of people, wash my hands too often, don't do public transport, don't let DD play with toys in GP waiting rooms etc, don't take DD to toddler groups. My life is a permanent countdown. I don't have many friends as I'm scared of DD mixing too much with other people incase they have bugs they pass onto her. I disinfect the shopping trolley at the supermarket before I let DD sit in it and get odd stares . I book father christmas for DD in the first week of december (so if she does get ill she will have time to recover before christmas) in the first time slot of the day in the hopes there won't be so many bugs around from children being there with their germs all day. I can't say how every little thing I do in life is skewed to trying not to be sick.

I had got it a bit better before I was pg, but then had awful pg nausea throughout pg right until the day I had DD. I was on antiemetics from 5 weeks pg and signed off work for my whole pg. It was a really dark time phobia wise as I spent months feeling 5 seconds away from being sick all day and all night. I think anyone would have struggled emet or non emet tbh! Then when DD was born I got in a complete state about her being sick and didn't take her out of the house for months and made everyone wash their hands when they got anywhere near her for her first year. Things were marginally better for a while this year but this norovirus worry has knocked me for six. DD was sick a few months ago as a reaction to her MMR and I couldn't help her or be near her. She was sick when I was carrying her and in shock I dropped her . I just can't cope and can't take it. Sorry for extra ramble, expecially as some of you have good reason to be so anxious having bugs in your family and having to deal with all that.

Aww reastie how horrible for you.

Oh my word reastie

Did the CBT and the 2 private therapies help at all?

You arent rambling reastie and much of what you say resonates with me too.
I wasnt always like this, so when did it start and why?
I am dreading the run up to xmas as I will be so stressed about the dc catching a sick bug.
I was even thinking to myself yesterday...well, I can keep ds2 off pre school for the last week..how pathetic is that? :(

I have been thinking of CBT but cant really afford it, esp if it doesnt even work :(

I have kept my dd's off of school in the past to avoid it (if they happen to have had a slightly runny nose then i have used it as an exscuse to keep them home if a bug is doing the rounds) and then i feel so stupid for doing it.

I'm getting anxious now as it gets closer to christmas (so scared they will be sick for christmas), in one way i wish 'if it was going to happen it would happen soon so i can then relax for christmas' but another part of me is petrified that it will happen .

Last year i gave the dd's probiotics and multi vits and we seemed to get away without out picking anything up but my anxiety was sky high as they had started a new school and i thought they would pick everything up.

Keeping my fingers crossed that we can avoid it this year.

Every time dd2 has had a bug we have ended up in hospital with her, partly because she refuses to drink for days and partly because i completely panic .

reatie dont be
we dont judge here...
ive admitted in thread some my parenting lowlights
right now ive not had a dc be sick since sunday but they are still not allowed near me.thye are picking up a bit energy wise and are eating bits of bland food but i put it at the bottom of the stairs and they come and get it when i have returned to front room.we speak them at top atairs,me at bottomi really do wonder if they would be better off with someone else but they are my life

santabig hugs lovely.its not a forgone conclusion youare going to be ill from see her.we are here for you

im struggling a little today.i dont eat/drink when they are ill and since sunday have had just a packet of tictacs and a caprisun.yesterday i made myself have a plain bagel and a biscuit adn when started to drink had 750mls...

that came back to bite me as i was up in night with excruciating back pain and runny bum