to throw up after dinner to save on calories?

[wildswans]

I am not bulimic, I weigh around 10 stone which for my height of 5' 2" is slightly tubby, but i am ok with that. However, I quite often deliberately make myself sick after a rich meal just to get rid of the calories. I consider it a 'win, win' situation - I have a lovely meal but don't need to worry about the effects on the waist line. I have just been out to a lovely Thai meal with my DH and DC and the contents have been flushed away!

AIBU or do lots of you actually do the same?

It isn't healthy. I've never had a full blown eating disorder but over the years i have resorted to laxatives, vomitting and diet pills to keep me thin. It ruins your health and your sanity. Would you really look so pretty as a size six but with rotting teeth from your stomach acid and your hair falling out through lack of nutrients?

Oh yes Empusa. That brings back memories. My mum used to cook me meals and bring them in to my room on a tray. (I still wasn't very mobile and couldn't get to the dinner table). I just could not eat the food, and my bf at the time, who was always there, would bag up the food at my complete and utter insistence, and dump it in a bin on his way home.

It's ridiculous the things we will do/have done to our bodies. :(

That is how I got caught. My Mum was always away, and once I got with DP, he figured it out and told my Mum, Nan, Uncle, everyone who I cared about who all forced me to eat, but I still felt I was in control by forcing myself to vomit instead. It was only when I fell pregnant that things changed, even though I still have an unhealthy relationship with food, I still realise that forcing myself to vomit is detrimental to my health and I want my children to have a Mum to watch them grow up. It is them who keep me fighting. OP, you should do the same. Fight it for your DD.

I've done this, in the past, when I had a mental disorder. YABU, it's not healthy or right. Seek help.

wildswans - you are in control of your eating and making a rational choice in just the same way as a functioning alcoholic is in charge of their drinking and is making a rational choice.

WOW, There is a lot of Diagnoses By Internet going on today.........

OP, if you are concerned, and presumably you are, then I suggest you speak to someone qualified to give advice on eating disorders such as your GP.

It is Empusa, but you just don't see it at the time. Crazy.

Please go and see your G.P.

I believe the OP asked how vomiting repeatedly can cause heart issues? Excessive vomiting can lead to electrolyte imbalance that can lead to heart attack. If you dont want to get well for yourself, do it for your DD. I lost a cousin to an eating disorder. Her mum and dad have never recovered.

swans you are obviously in denial.

I don't understand why you would start this thread if you honestly feel like you don't have a problem and that its totally normal.

If you thought it was normal you wouldn't have wanted reassurance.

You know you have a problem but you dont want to admit it and that is why you are been defensive.

People have opened up and told you of their experiences yet you go on like you are completely different.

Once get past this denial maybe for your sake and your daughter's you will get help.

You are bulimic weather you accept that or not.

As you can see, insomnia is another of my issues!

I do value your replies and i don't want to seem arrogant or unreceptive. I know I shouldn't do it and I would hate DD to do it. I will take on board your comments - I really thought a lot of people might do it sometimes without having an ED but it seems that I am wrong.

On a different but related point, I notice that some of DD's friends eat virtually nothing when they are here and I do think DD was telling me what she knows, not because of any concerns about me, but because of concerns about a particular friend.

My DD is a day girl at a boarding school. The boarders are allowed one glass of wine or beer on a Friday or Saturday evening. My DD's friend eats nothing all day and then has pain killers in order to get a 'high' off the alcohol. a lot of others have EDs and a significant number self harm. I don't believe that this is something that just happens at DD's school (she has now left).My DD self harmed some years ago after my FIL died suddenly.

And so, yes, I do see the need to be a good role model and I do think that there are a lot more pressures on children today.

I am also disgusted with my self because I chew lots of tissues over the course of the day, but i don't swallow them. i just seem to need to do it. Do you think this is related to OCD as i have been reading a couple of current threads on here about it. i just thought it was a silly habit but now I'm not so sure.

wildswans

I am going to admit something here that I've only ever discussed with my closest friend before.

I have been known to do the same. Also to go and deliberately make myself sick on a night out if I feel I'm getting too drunk too quick. I have never done it with the purpose of removing the calories from my system, but when I feel uncomfortably full (a la the Romans which have been previously discussed) and it made me feel better.

This had been going on for a few years now. My skin is awful, my nails are brittle, my teeth are in bad condition. I now feel queasy if I get too full and it takes a lot less than it used to for me to be sick (unforced). And at its worst I went through a stage of this being once a fortnight at most. That's all it takes for it to be a problem to your health.

My SIL and my best friend are, as they say, bulemics in remission. Neither would ever claim to have recovered. I knew for a lot of years that bestie was bulemic. She thought nobody knew. But even just spending 2 days a week at uni with her, I knew. Therefore when I realised that I was starting to show those traits I'd seen in her, I spoke to her about it. She is also a very highly qualified professional person who thought she was in complete control. She told me it started out as 'making good sense' and what harm was it if she occasionally did that. Later on she realised it had taken over her life and she was starting to look at food with a view to how hard it was to bring back up. She had been doing it 'occasionally' for years and bam! suddenly that was it, almost daily and almost every meal. She told me this in order to help me kick it into touch before it got hold of me.

She gave me the kick up the arse I needed to actually think about it. And do you know what? Of course she was right. More than anything, as much as you may feel in control, why would you deliberately put yourself in harms way. Would you shag around with random men you'd just met without a condom? No, because you put yourself at risk of STDs. So why would you make yourself sick after food, when it puts you at risk causing lasting physical damage and health issues, just to save on calories which you could actually go and burn off like most normal people do

Why am I telling you this? Because I know how easy it is to believe it isn't a problem. And I know that whilst it has the potential to develop into a serious eating disorder, you have found a way to rationalise it in your head. However, It is wrong . No matter what excuses you give yourself for it, even if those excuses are as lame and woolly as you're sure everyone does it and of course you're in control (you're not, by the way), it's a very slippery slope and it takes very little for you to slide down it covered in your own vomit.

All anyone has done on this thread is give you advice. Your original post did not ask for advice, just confirmation that EVERYONE did it, which as has been pointed out is not the case. Yes, more people probably do it than will admit to it, but that doesn't make it normal or right. More people probably take drugs than would admit it, but does that make it right/acceptable?

Please, OP, just think about it. People's responses here are to try to help you, whether you think you need help or not.

Ah OP I sat typing that reply before your insomniac posts

Let me get this straight. You throw up after some meals because they were high in calories. Yet you think you're not bulimic. Your dd's friends do it. So you give it a go too. You say you've never told anyone but how do you know no one has heard you being sick? You now think people on here are calling you a bad mum and that 90% of the people are horrible but the 10% that are being nice, you're happy with their posts. You say you have it under control so people on here scream at their screens, trawl through google for facts, burst their emotions telling you about their personal experiences and you don't batter an eye lid.

You clearly don't want help. I'm not sure what you thought you'd get from posting this. It isn't normal. That's all I'm saying but if you don't want the help and think others are being mean then ignore us all and carry on and find out the consequences yourself.

I'll tel you something wildswans, reading this has made me decide to do something about my alcohol consumption.

It's not that I drink a huge amount and I am within my 14 a week...but I recognise a lot of your attitude in how defensive I can get about how I drink and you have scared me.

i don't think I am an alcoholic but I will be if I don't get a grip.

Thank you.

swans love the tissues thing is definitely a comfort behaviour. If I were you I would definitely go and see your GP and just tell him/her what's going on.
I think your daughter is surrounded by self destruction at boarding school. Gettiing her some help to make sure she is as personally robust as possible would be a good idea.

Wildswans, the problem with doing it from time to time is that you're likely to end up doing it more frequently, especially if you are in denial about the fact that you actually have an eating disorder. Eating disordered thoughts and behaviours are addictive, especially the cycle of bulimia.

Most bulimics are not underweight, they are usually of a normal weight, or even overweight. Just because someone isn't all skin and bones, it doesn't mean that they aren't still causing themselves serious long term damage.

I have seen the way just throwing up occasionally after meals can progress, and the resulting long term effects. This isn't meant to be harsh, but you need to accept you have a problem and deal with it appropriately.

I've never been bulimic, but I've been severely anorexic.

I'm not normal even now, with food. I'm very un-normal in fact.

What you are doing may or may not be technically bulimia. I don't know or care.

What I think is that it is a horrible and ugly thing to do. And I have done many ugly and horrible things in my own life, especially in relation to my own eating problems. I wouldn't want people o know about them, and I think you feel the same - that you would not want people to know you are doing this.

That to me is definitive of a problem. if you find your own behaviour a bit disgusting, then you should probably try to stop doing it.

I understand that you are able to compartmentalise the action somewhat and rationalise it and so on, but what lies beneath it is a problem you have, with your weight, with your self image, or with something undefinable that makes you want to punish yourself and keep secrets from the people who love you.

I hope that makes some kind of sense.
Yes, it works for you as it gives you a temporary high but it's still something you're ashamed to admit to - at least to your family - and that you yourself find pretty disgusting.

If that's how you want to live then who are we to tell you otherwise?

You're the one in control, so do what you like. But don't expect other people to find it acceptable, because it's horrible.

Oh and I agree the boarding school sounds terrible - those poor girls have obviously got serious issues. Probably connected to the reason they are at boarding school - ie sense of personal rejection, loneliness, I dunno...it's probably very much endemic in these settings.

I would be looking to move your daughter so she is exposed to more normal behaviour.

In the past I've made myself sick whilst drinking and getting too drunk too quickly. Probably a maximum of half a dozen times in total during my 20's. I'm now almost teetotal, only drink about 30 units of alcohol a year.

In the past I've thrown up heavy meals, maybe once or possibly twice a year when I've regretted eating too much. Vomit only smells if it lingers, I flushed straightaway, cleaned the toilet, washed my face and hands and brushed my teeth. Voila, no smell !

I suspect a long term friend vomits regularly but I've never lived with her so I can't be certain. Her husky voice and use of mints makes me suspect, plus the amount she can eat if we are out in a group for a meal and her slim figure despite doing no exercise.

After children, and HG in pregnancy, I stopped watching my weight and couldn't bear the thought of being sick, my weight crept up and up and I'm now overweight and in a cycle of dieting/gaining/dieting/gaining. I wish I could see off the ocasional calorie laden meal so easily as a quick vomit but I just can't do it and having fallen off the sensible eating wagon I'm not one of those people who have the will power to just "watch what I eat" for the next couple of days to sort it out.

I think the OP is being given a really hard time by some very rude judgemental people self-importantly and sanctimoniously reproducing, in their posts, information already available to anyone who googles. Not very clever really is it ?

If I go out clubbing once a week/fortnight and drink too much, does that make me an alcoholic ? No. Vomiting occasionally doesn't , IMHO, make the OP bulimic.

I think she has a young girls problem with drastic reaction to her periodic lack of control over food intake and "quite often", well we won't ever know what she means by that now will we because she confided and was roundly criticised, judged and condemned so she can't really get and kindly advice.

Shame on you MN'ers ! Badly Done all round except a few brave souls !

One more thing. I know plenty of people who have eating issues. Some are fat, some are very thin.
Some eat then throw up, some eat and don't throw up - I didn't eat, or barely ate, for several years not because I wanted to be thin, (I was terrified of dying) but because I couldn't manage to put on weight due to my own anxieties about overeating, it is hard to explain but it wasn't fat-related.

I am a normal weight now but I nearly died.
I made the decision to recover, however hard it was to do that.

Your pattern is just another one in the long and varied list of eating disorders - which literally means disordered eating, nothing more, nothing less.

Giving it a name or label isn't necessarily the point. The point is you're not proud of it and no one else would want you to be doing it. (unless you have a lot of people in your life who hate you - or even just one? a parent, I dunno?)

Who are you trying to please here.