to throw up after dinner to save on calories?

[wildswans]

I am not bulimic, I weigh around 10 stone which for my height of 5' 2" is slightly tubby, but i am ok with that. However, I quite often deliberately make myself sick after a rich meal just to get rid of the calories. I consider it a 'win, win' situation - I have a lovely meal but don't need to worry about the effects on the waist line. I have just been out to a lovely Thai meal with my DH and DC and the contents have been flushed away!

AIBU or do lots of you actually do the same?

The things you mention are nothing to do with vomiting up a Thai meal. And you know it. Stop trying to justify it. If you think it's so OK why continue the thread?

wildswans Perfect? I'm a self harmer with a history of anorexia and a tendency to deliberately skip meals. I'm not telling you that you are eating disordered out of some bizarre superiority, I'm telling you because I recognise the things you are saying

Wildswans no nobody is perfect and I'm defanatly not. However it is not normal to make yourself sick after eating and most people don't do this, I would be extreamly worried if any of my daughters did this and would encoragge hem to get help because it is an Eating Disdorder.

Romans didn't make themselves sick to rid themselves of calories. They did it because their stomachs were full and they wanted to eat and drink more.

You are hurting yourself.
You are damaging your longterm health.
You speak about your DD with love. Do you want your bulimia to prematurely deprive her of her mother?

I am interested that your DD brought this up in conversation with you. Yes you say she doesn't know that you do it and mentioned her "friends". I am wondering if she in fact does know about you and used the "friend's" as a prop to open up the conversation with you.

I am stepping away and going to bed. This thread has made me sad and I think sharing our difficult, personal experience with OP has been a waste of time. Don't do it to yourselves is my advice to other ED posters. Think on is my advice to OP.

"i am sure many will agree but inevitably they are not the ones posting - the silent majority versus the strident minority."

That's not a rational though process. The majority of people are saying it's not normal therefore they must be the minority?

Wildswans, if you've been doing this for some years, without concern (presumably) why do you post now?

I have NEVER done this and I don't know of any of my friends who have.

HTH

If this is ok for you to do to yourself, then if you ever found out that your DD was doing the same as you, what would you say to her?

No, nowhere near that perfect but I do not eat loads then stick my fingers down my throat (or as more practised do, just think vom and do it).

I do eat my five a day, that is easy. I do not smoke. I do drink more than 14 units a week. Exfoliate and moisturise are hard as I am allergic to most skin products. I do do craft with my kids, even after a night shift. Yes the summer hols have been hard!! We take them to McDs once a month. I have a small overdraft. I rarely eat chocolate. Boden? Never looked at it bet they don't do my size!

I do not claim to be perfect, just express concern for an MNer who says she throws up after rich meals. Sorry if the concern is seen as judgment!!

Boden is rubbish.
Sometimes I smoke.
Md is rubbish, but i'm veggie, theres not much there for me.
I never exfoliate, although occasionally use moisturiser.

I try to eat 5 a day, but its easier if my diet consists of vegetables.
I don't often do craft with my kids.
My overdraft is frightening.
I love chocolate.
I no longer have an eating disorder.

Oh stop it swans - people here have tried to help and all you have done is be rude to them. Your last post is a bit of a rant - hats the Boden catalogue got to do with people saying you have an eating problem?!

Sometimes I drink too much too.

Hi, wildswans. I've been one of the "silent majority" until now and am probably a pretty average person (yes four times and no five times to the things on your list). You asked whether lots of other people throw up to control calories too. So far posters seem to be saying either no, or yes, and it has made them unhappy. I honestly don't think there is a great horde of women out there who see this as normal and healthy. Sorry.

Ah OP, this isn't getting any of us anywhere, is it? Nobody here is saying they are perfect. A number of us are telling you how very far from perfect we are, and that is why we are worried for you. I have never had a healthy relationship with food, not in my entire life. As a child I ate practically nothing. At 12 I started my 20 year anorexia journey. At various points (normally after weight gain) I slipped into bulimia. Now I comfort eat, sometimes on the verge of binging. I'm as recovered as I've ever been and probably as much as I'll ever be, but it's still not great, to be honest.

Why am I telling you this? NOT because I'm saying you're just like me, but because I want you to understand why you've had the reaction you've had on this thread. People aren't being horrible to you, but what you have written has touched on some deeply painful issues for many of us and people are CONCERNED that that must mean you are dealing with some painful feelings too. If we're wrong, fine. But if you're so ok and we're not, perhaps you can be the bigger person and not take all these caring posts as an attack.

Incidentally, I'm not sure how helpful it is to debate whether or not OP has bulimia. She may not have a classifiable diagnosis, but vomiting after eating is disordered by anyone's definition and carries risks even if it's just a bad habit and not a compulsion.

Excellent post, Devora.

Trust me, your DD knows. Your whole family know. They choose not to mention it probably because it doesn't happen that often, and they're trying to ignore it to stop it upsetting them.

i often feel guilty if ive eaten a big meal but no, i would never chuck it up again afterwards. i might just watch what i eat for a day or two.

what you do really is not normal - nor is it something that the majority of women i know do.
you keep telling yourself that OP if it makes you feel better.
but its not.
you are wrong. you are doing something very very abnormal. i thought binging and purging was the very definition of bullimia? i dont think it has to be an everyday occurance. whats sad is you cant seem to see that its not normal, or what the majority do - you are making excuses to make yourself feel better.

i cant spell,i used to smoke,i have a weird diet coke habbit,as a rule i hate other people,im annoyingly obsesive about people touching my stuff,i wouldnt even know where to get a boden catalogue,i do go to mcdonalds im currently sat in my living room wondering why my clean laundry wont put itself away and im so far from perfect that im just a normal human being.

i cant go to a dentist without shame or embarrisment but i have to go every 3 months because my tooth enamel is so worn on the back of my teeth if i dont get a special coating on them i cant eat or drink without pain because 8 years ago i was really in control of puking up everything i ate i was compleatly in control even when i was a size 0 eating nothing but sushi and special k with water, at least thats what i thought at the time

Well said Devora

Oh yes socknickingpixie. Other people touching my stuff, especially without my permission, drives me crazy. To coin a mn phrase; it makes my teeth itch.

and yep they do know,chances are so do your neighbours, your dentist, everybody else in the resturant anybody who uses a loo after you,your plumber and probally loads of the staff at your dc's school

I'm another one who has had disordered eating on and off for the last 15 years. I don't call it an ED as it's never been diagnosed as such but it is disordered, and I have have spent some time talking to a counsellor about it, who recognises it as being disordered eating borne of my need for rigid control and my tendency to see things in very black and white terms. Likewise, my other addictions (of which there have been several over the years- alcohol, drugs, exercise!) For me, they are all part of the same spectrum which is all to do with control. So no, I am not perfect either, very far from it (smoker, non-Boden-wearer, terrible mother...) but I do tend to recognise self-destructive behaviour in others when I see it.

I have done a lot of meal-skipping, calorie-counting and food-weighing. I have also deliberately vomited after heavy meals, usually when alcohol has been involved. At the time, I convinced myself it was normal to frequently vomit after drinking but always, at the back of my mind, was a calorie calculator at work.

The majority are telling you that you might need to speak to someone about this. That you might need some help with it. What have you got to lose by telling your GP about it and seeing what they say?

The question is, OP, what do you want to do about the throwing up? If you feel good about it and want to carry on, you're free to do that. But if you don't, look, there are lots of people even just on this thread who have shared painful stories out of concern. You wouldn't have to work this out on your own.

I have reported this thread. I feel that there are a lot of really lovely MNers who are revealing very painful and personal stories who are being taken advantage of as I feel that the OP is looking for justification for her actions rather than support.

OP, I hope that you take on board some of the messages here and get help.

"i was really in control of puking up everything i ate i was compleatly in control even when i was a size 0 eating nothing but sushi and special k with water, at least thats what i thought at the time"

This.

I was also totally in control when I was eating 1 slice of toast a day and exercising for an hour every morning and evening. I was in control when I was feeling dizzy and light-headed. I was in control when I was taking food offered by my housemate, then hiding it in my room to throw out when she went to work.

Totally in control.

At least that's how it felt at the time.