to throw up after dinner to save on calories?

[wildswans]

I am not bulimic, I weigh around 10 stone which for my height of 5' 2" is slightly tubby, but i am ok with that. However, I quite often deliberately make myself sick after a rich meal just to get rid of the calories. I consider it a 'win, win' situation - I have a lovely meal but don't need to worry about the effects on the waist line. I have just been out to a lovely Thai meal with my DH and DC and the contents have been flushed away!

AIBU or do lots of you actually do the same?

OP-I went off the thread last night as I was upset by the constant denial there was anything wrong. I came back this morning and see you have had a change in your thinking, which is really positive.

It does sound as if you, your DD and her friends are lacking in self worth (self harm, ED, etc). Essentially you are not treating yourself well and until you can value yourself that will be hard to do. I really hope you address your lack of self worth and in turn can help DD, who can help her friends. There are many options out there, counselling with CBT have helped me over the years. Good luck.

A relief to see you admit in the dead of night that this isn't right and you aren't happy. Always when stuff like that gets you isn't it?

I hope you are ok this morning and can move forward in a positive way, to seek support and to get to the bottom of the causes of what ever is making you do this. Its rarely just about your weight; its usually about other things in your life

wildswans the responses here must be so difficult for you to read but people have responded as they have because they are concerned about you.

I hope you're OK and I hope you seek some help. Please make an appointment to see your GP.

(((hugs)))

Cokeaholic The OP has been given plenty of kindly advice. Loads of it. Are we reading the same thread?

In answer to your question, a person who drinks too much once a week or fortnight may not be an alcoholic but may well be a binge drinker. A problem drinker. The amount and frequency is somewhat irrelevant. It's about the reasons behind the drinking and the way it makes you feel.

And the label is irrelevant. If an alcoholic is a person who is physically addicted to alcohol, then there are a huge number of people who aren't alcoholics but whose lives are being very gravely affected by their relationship with booze. I spent weeks at a group for women addicts. Very few of them were actually alcoholic in the physical dependency sense, but all of them had their tales of woe around alcohol damage.

wildswans, I really feel for you on this thread. I don't know what response you wanted or thought you were going to get, but I imagine the way this has gone is a bit of a shock. Please don't feel disgusted by yourself, about the tissues or anything else. You only have to look at this thread to see that everyone has struggles of one kind or another and tries to help themselves as best they can.

I suspect more people (especially girls and women) do this than you might imagine. I certainly have done it occasionally, but it's not something I've mentioned to anyone in real life.

However it's not a healthy habit to get into, and perhaps more to the point, it doesn't work very well as a weight-loss or weight control strategy. Better not to stuff yourself so much you need to be sick in the first place.

To be perfectly blunt, if you weight 10 stone, it's not working for you, is it?

I'm 38 and have never knowingly met anyone who makes themself sick after eating.

This is an anonymous forum, so if lots of people do do it, it's surprising that the only ones admitting to doing it also admit to having an eating disorder.

I hope you're OK, OP.

Hello all

We're going to move this thread to Mental Health now as AIBU definitely isn't the place for it; sorry to be a bit slow on this.

Please can we reiterate that calling 'troll' on a thread is against our Guidelines, and is particularly inappropriate on a thread like this. Our rule is to give posters the benefit of the doubt, and we ask Mners to do the same - on the thread at least.

Thanks to those of you who did report.

Also, aside from the health question, it makes people miserable to have things about themselves that they are uncomfortable about or ashamed of and feel they have to keep secret. If only for that reason, it might be good to look for some support.

I'm really sorry if my comments sounded harsh. I was being very, very blunt and I didn't mean to make the OP feel worse about herself or her behaviour - I assumed from her posts that she felt bad about it already and was trying to acknowledge thatand put it into context.

I don't judge - no way - I've been in very similar situations myself. I understand how people do these things to themselves - however awful it might be.

It happens. And I am sorry it happens. I hate to hear that other people are doing this sort of thing, it makes me really sad.

I don't think she is disgusting or ought to feel disgusted with herself. I assumed she already does on some level. That's me projecting of course.

I think that the behaviour is generally unpleasant and undesirable and that there will be a way she can stop doing it - and also a reason that she is, just as there was for my own habits.

I don't think it is her fault.

I meant to say - I just read back my own posts from this monring, and am appalled at the blunt way I phrased things.

OP, you're not a disgusting person - I hope that's clear. Sending my love.

I've not read all the replies which I know is bad form.
But lovely, you are bulimic. I am also. Not recently. But I use laxatives. I didn't know taking laxatives was bulimia either.
It does take a while for the realisation if what we are doi g to hit home.
Get some help.
Take care x

Ephiny, do you think that 10 stone is obese?

I note this thread is being moved to Mental Health. how do you think that makes me feel? i won't be returning to MN.

I don't know much about obesity and weights and so on, but I certainly wouldn't say it is - not at my height or at yours. I don't think Ephiny was implying that you're obese from what I can gather.

Well strop off in a huff then, one day you will look back on this and hopefully take on board some of the advice. You can take a horse to water and all that ....

Wildswans - you could ask them to put it back where it belongs if you want to - just click on report in your OP.

They were trying to do you a favour - AIBU is renowned for being really, really harsh and blunt. They thought you would be safer in MH.

wildswans, it honestly, really doesn't matter what Ephiny thinks. What do you think, how do you feel about it? Oh, and please don't go just because the thread was moved.

It would make me feel awful in your position, though.

I don't think it's obese, no. Maybe slightly overweight for your height.

All I really meant is that if you'd like to lose a bit of weight, there are better, i.e. healthier and more effective, ways of doing it.

OP, firstly no I don't do this, and I don't know anyone else who does. You think there is a silent majority out there, well I don't and I wanted to come here to add my voice as another who is saying, no, not normal.

Your posts worry me, you are so defensive, angry and it does sound like you are worried this is a problem but aren't yet ready to face up to it.

Both devora and betrude have said all the points I would like to say, probably more eloquently than I could put it.

Please dont go, I think most of the posters are really really trying their best to help you because they are worried for you, not judging you. Especially those who have struggled with EDs in the past, they have trodden this road, shared their confidences [bravo for that, ladies, I can appreciate how hard that might be to think about those painful memories] why would they do that, if not to try to help you?

Please speak to your GP.

The thread is being moved to Mental Health because you throw up after you eat, you chew tissues during the day and you have a daughter who self-harms. All of those are things which other people in MH might have experience of or be able to help with.

It's exactly the same as posting in AIBU about chicken pox or strep throat and having your thread moved to General Health.

Having a thread in MH is no indictment on you at all, please don't take it as an insult.

AIBU is known for forthright brutal opinions, and MN are sensitive to the fact that an ED would receive more appropriate support in the MH section, where people who have experienced similar or who have advice can give it.