to throw up after dinner to save on calories?

[wildswans]

I am not bulimic, I weigh around 10 stone which for my height of 5' 2" is slightly tubby, but i am ok with that. However, I quite often deliberately make myself sick after a rich meal just to get rid of the calories. I consider it a 'win, win' situation - I have a lovely meal but don't need to worry about the effects on the waist line. I have just been out to a lovely Thai meal with my DH and DC and the contents have been flushed away!

AIBU or do lots of you actually do the same?

I have a friend that does this.

She's very slim and terribly careful about what she eats. She purges after she's eaten chocolate or cake. She does it maybe once a fortnight (so she says).

I don't know if this makes her bulimic as she does it only when her willpower fails. I do think it's daft though. And revolting. And wasteful if I made the cake.

Why on earth would you suspect a lot of other people do it?

If you feel your figure can't 'handle' a thai meal then don't eat one.

Or if you want to eat one, then eat it but at least be confident in your decision and keep it down.

wildswans as somebody that suffers with an eating disorder I would say what you say in your original post points to Bulimia. I used starve myself for days,weeks and even moths at a time and when I did eat I threw up. You need to seek medical help. Also the words you use such as tubby are commonly used by ED suffers. Please please seek help it is an awful life to lead I have had and ED in one form or another for 17 years,

You aren't being judged. But you are sick (as in unwell). It is neither normal nor healthy. It can spiral out of control rapidly and ruin your life. If you can stop it, then do. If you can't, then you DEFINITELY have a problem and should get RL help.

"but i suspect that a lot of people do do it and don't let on"

You are trying to convince yourself that this behaviour is normal. It is now.

I'm not sure the posters are judging you OP. You have posted in aibu and asked if others do this after a big meal and majority have answered you with ... Yes, they do if they are bulimic!!!
One of the tricky things about eating disorders is how they make the sufferer feel that everyone else is wrong about food and that there is no problem and it's just about taking control. Unfortunately the eating disorder usually is actually in control and feeding false information to the sufferer. This is especially when it comes to others trying to help the sufferer get better; then the fight is really on. I get a little sense of that on this thread.

Right I think you are doing this a lot more than you are letting on, so far its been "quite often", then "from time to tome" and then "only sometimes". And even if it really is only occasional its not normal or healthy behaviour either.

WildSwans - you say your DD will never know.

You don't want her to know, do you. But what if she does find out? This is a real possibility, even if you think it's not now.

And think how you would feel if you found out your DD was doing this.

Have a think. Then see if you can stop what you are doing. If not, then think about your next move, and if you need outside help or not.

Manicinsomniac anorexia is higher risk that bulimia, I'm sorry :(. I'm sorry you've been suffering for so long.

OP, it's a slippery slope. I started purging occasionally to get rid of a few calories - I too saw it as win-win. Over the period of a year I began to increase how much I ate before a purge (because hey, I was going to get rid of the calories, right? Win-win!).

I ended up starving myself all day (a skinny latte and some soup), then going home, buying a truly eye-watering amount of food, bingeing and vomiting until I was exhausted. I did that every day for 1.5 years. Every day! I shrunk from a 16 to a 6, isolated myself by pushing away friends and family, stopping all hobbies - anything to avoid my binge/purge cycle being interrupted. I was moody, depressed, anxious, prone to aggression, I lost my ability to concentrate and my world was nothing more than my next fix.

It's an addiction. Addictions take hold of you when you're not looking and all of a sudden a couple of times a week becomes every. Fucking. Day.

I'm no longer bulimic, btw (tho would probably fit under an EDNOS diagnosis still). It was a long, hard road and it's unlikely I'll ever be free of my demons.

Far better to turn back now, before you go any further.

Of course you are being unreasonable. I had a lovely meal yesterday and the contents have (like yours) now been flushed away, but only after they went through the correct digestive process! If you are OK with being slightly tubby, why are you simultaneously worrying about your waistline? If you feel guilty about eating rich food, why not just join a gym or do some extra exercise to work off the extra calories? Don't you think that would be the healthier and preferable example to set to your daughter? How can you possibly prefer to be sick, or to regard that as normal everyday behaviour?!

Sorry, but you have either got an eating disorder or you are frighteningly lazy.

Well it isn't every day and it won't be every day. I've been doing this for a few years now and it isn't getting worse, i assure you. it is my choice. i accept other people may not make this choice but my DD doesn't know and won't know and my teeth are fine. Ther is a lot of scaremonering on here. I am in control of the situation, i can assure you.

and i walk my dogs every day.

OP are you sure your DD doesnt know? Maybe she suspects and is trying to broach the subject with you by pretending her friends do it.

OP you have an eating disorder. You can dress it up anyway you like but throwing up after food is not normal and most people don't do it.

You are ill. You have an eating disorder. I can't say it any more plainly.

It is unhealthy and it's not 'normal'. That is not scaremongering.

If it's so acceptable why don't you want DD to know?

Everyone I know with dogs walks them every day.

I am in control of the situation, i can assure you

No you're not, that's what everyone with an eating disorder thinks - you're in denial as the reality is its controlling you.

Not scaremongering. Facts.

Does your DH know?

What does your DH say? Are you doing it in secret?

Don't want to antagonise you Wildswans but what made you post about this? I am really curious?

It's not scaremongering, it's trying to open your eyes.
I still don't understand why you've posted if you think it's a common thing to do and not a problem?

Nobody knows, of course they don't. I have posted here because it's anonymous and I really think a lot of people do this in RL but are afraid to say so.

Wildswans what did you hope to achieve with your post??
Either
A) others saying "ooh yes I do it too, isn't it marvellous" thereby validating behaviour which you suspect/fear is not right
B) others saying "that is an eating disorder and you have a problem" thereby confirming your worst suspicions.
Either way, you know it is not normal behaviour and I think your post is a cry for help