to throw up after dinner to save on calories?

[wildswans]

I am not bulimic, I weigh around 10 stone which for my height of 5' 2" is slightly tubby, but i am ok with that. However, I quite often deliberately make myself sick after a rich meal just to get rid of the calories. I consider it a 'win, win' situation - I have a lovely meal but don't need to worry about the effects on the waist line. I have just been out to a lovely Thai meal with my DH and DC and the contents have been flushed away!

AIBU or do lots of you actually do the same?

Look up the complications of bulimia. It ain't pretty.

Get help now while you can.

You sound like you thought everyone would say they did the same we don't, you have an eating disorder I hope you seek the help that you need

Do you think your dd has an inkling at what's going on, and all that talk of her friends doing it is a smokescreen to try and open dialogue about it?

Really, if you are doing this please talk to someone in real life about this. You do need to stop this for your own sake.

I think AIBU is the wrong place for this thread.

I've asked MN HQ if it can be moved - but I'm not sure in exactly which topic it's best suited.

I'll go with it OP.

You haven't confided in your teenager? GOOD, don't - she's your CHILD not your confidante Next address the issue by getting help. Look up the harm it does to you. Listen to what I and others will say about how much it fucks you up. It's a form of self abuse.

If you really thought this was " normal " behaviour, you would not have started a thread looking for validation of the behaviour. On one level or another you must be worried or anxious about your eating or weight because you are seeking opinions about it.
So my opinion (as a qualified mental health professional) is that this is not normal behaviour and even if you are doing it occasionally, you should stop and if you can't stop, seek some help from someone professional.

It's NOT normal OP.

You are doing a LOT of damage to yourself by doing this - at the very least your enamel from your teeth will start to be compromised.

Can you find some strength to talk about this in RL to an organisation like BEAT, or your GP?

Here you go OP, from the website:

"There are a number of physical complications associated with bulimia.

These can include any of the following:

?Dental problems. Persistent vomiting can cause your stomach acid to damage the enamel on your teeth, which may lead to tooth decay. Excessive vomiting can also cause bad breath and a sore throat.
?Irregular periods. Your menstrual cycle can become unpredictable or even stop altogether. You may also find it difficult to become pregnant in the future.
?Poor skin and hair. A lack of nutrients through persistent vomiting or laxative use can make your skin and hair unhealthy. Your skin and hair can become dry and your fingernails can become brittle.
?Swollen glands. If you have bulimia, your saliva glands can become swollen from frequent vomiting. This makes your face appear rounder.
?Chemical imbalance. Excessive vomiting and laxative use can cause chemical imbalances in your body. This can result in tiredness, weakness, abnormal heart rhythms, kidney damage, convulsions (fits) and muscle spasms.
?Bowel problems. Excessive use of laxatives can damage your bowel muscles, resulting in permanent constipation.
?Heart problems. Long-term complications of bulimia can include an increased risk of heart problems."

YABU, and I'd make sure your daughter is aware of these side effects too.

Will op be back??

Should say "NHS website", there btw.

No idea on the mechanics behind it kewcumber. My friend did get very very thin for a while, but then she got really big a year or so later. Maybe she was doing other stuff to get herself thin as well. She wasn't happy though. Still isn't to be fair.

Look, I only do it sometimes, of course my DD doesn't know and will never know. i am sorry if i have upset anyone, but i suspect that a lot of people do do it and don't let on. i am not trying to suggest that bulimia can;t be very serious. i just don't think that what i do comes close, but i can see that i am being judged here - either I'm sick or it's all a wind up.

Sorry - I sounded like I was asking for a lesson in how to purge, didn't I! I don't really want to know.

Op, you are sick and by sick I mean I'll.

You really do owe it to yourself and your family to get help.

It is not normal behaviour.

I used to do this and also convinced myself it wasn't bulimia. I also used to eat around half a slice of bread and an apple a day, but of course I wasn't anorexic.

:( you are bulimic OP. Talk to your DH about it (surprised he hasn't noticed) and your GP. You need a healthier view on food.
Good luck x

I have never heard of anyone doing this who didn't have an ED. Sorry op. Never.

"i suspect that a lot of people do do it and don't let on" - ummm.... no I really dont think they do unless you move in certain circles. And the reason I don't think they do is that you can usually spot when people close to you are doing it - disappearing off the the toilet after a meal, brushing their teeth at unusual times that kind of thing.

I think people need to understand that people with EDs are often in denial and that this is part of the condition. I think OP is genuine and even if she doesn't yet meet the clinical definition of bulimia, she is showing those tendencies.

I was not overweight as a bulimic, bulimics can come in many kinds, but many are normal weight or slightly overweight, unless the bulimic also has anorexic tendencies.

It is a long hard road to recovery. I didn't get help, but it took me 10 years. I would advise stopping now while you have some control. After a while you won't be able to tolerate that full tummy feeling and once it is something you know you can do, it is difficult to break the cycle. Conversely, that knowledge can lead you to eat more, as you think 'I'll just throw it up.'

Even if "a lot of people do it and don't let on" it is still an eating disorder, you are still exposing your tooth enamel to your stomach acid and putting your heart under strain to vom it all up.

Why post in AIBU if you are fine with what you are doing?

Sorry if this has been said (skim reading) but actually the OP does not have bulimia, not unless she is bingeing upwards of 2X a week on 2000+ calories in a sitting.

But it's not ok and it is at least disordered eating, if not an eating disorder.

However, I suspect it might be a heck of a lot more normal than most people would want to think.

I have had anorexia for 13 years and have times when I almost want to be bulimic. It's natural to want to 'have your cake and eat it'. Unfortunately I have several friends who are very out of control bulimics and, after a certain point, it is not a convenient way to evade the consequences of treating yourself it is a daily cycle of binge-purge-binge-purge-binge-purge all day long with little relief and no way of getting out of the compulsion to do it. It kills social life, employability and happiness.

Plus of course, even occasional bulimia is dangerous. I am a purging anorexic (maybe 2-3 times a week) and I know that every time I do I am putting myself at risk. Far more than I am by starving myself. Bulimia comes with more risk than anorexia (I think) and, if there is any danger of this behaviour becoming habitual and more regular, you should seek help straight away.

You have an eating disorder and could be damaging your health.
You do not have to be seriously underweight to have an eating disorder.
In the long term you may well be damaging yourself.
Also, although you think your daughter is not aware, she may very well know or find out and you are setting that as an example to her; she would see it as being normal behaviour and may well copy such behaviour.
You should consider seeing a doctor to discuss this and seek help on how to manage your calorie intake better without forcing yourself to vomit.

You are in real denial, wildswans, if you think that what you're doing isn't very serious.

but i suspect that a lot of people do do it and don't let on

On what do you base this bit of judgemental lunacy?

If you have a decent GP who knows what they are doing they will be able to refer you to a team who do some group sessions, they are very useful in talking about what is normal and not. Usually there is a detailed assessment and everyone I have dealt with has been fantastic.

I would be concerned for your daughter and concern for my own kids prompted me to get help. Seems my own mothers disordered eating had quite an impact that I was previously unaware of.

OP please don't get defensive now. You're sick because you can't see that it's not true that a lot of people do it. Perhaps it's true of top models of dancers or teenagers but that's because they're sick!