to throw up after dinner to save on calories?

[wildswans]

I am not bulimic, I weigh around 10 stone which for my height of 5' 2" is slightly tubby, but i am ok with that. However, I quite often deliberately make myself sick after a rich meal just to get rid of the calories. I consider it a 'win, win' situation - I have a lovely meal but don't need to worry about the effects on the waist line. I have just been out to a lovely Thai meal with my DH and DC and the contents have been flushed away!

AIBU or do lots of you actually do the same?

I am in control of the situation, i can assure you

Then why start a thread like this seeking reassurance that other people do it?

You are most definitely in denial. I could go through most of your posts on this thread and pick them apart and show you your insecurity, your need to feel like this is normal and your defensiveness when challenged about that. The language is incredibly telling.

ALL of it adds up to a very real problem.

You need to admit there is an issue and get some help/support to deal with it.

Nobody here is judging, if you look, you will see that. None of us are perfect, and many of us have our own issues with food. But you asked if this was normal, and we are telling you that it isn't. Perhaps not the answer you wanted to hear, but it's the only honest one. Like it or not, you have a problem. Only you can decide what you're going to do about it.

Most posters here seem to have no idea about mental illness and the (most important) psychological aspects of EDs - Bulimia and Anorexia are not simply about food.

Bulimia and anorexia are mental illnesses and to label healthy people who are making unusual/different from your choices as mentally ill is a disservice to those people genuinely struggling with the trauma of bulimia or anorexia.

Some posters seem to live in a very black and white world where their knowledge is based on media portrayals and ignorant, ill-informed and naive assumptions.

OP if you are mentally well and making an informed and capacitous decision - there are MUCH worse ways you could be affecting your health.

To suggest the OP has bulimia is akin to suggesting that someone with a bit of a low mood is depressed.
Mental illness is serious and does not benefit from scaremongering over-reactions as 'voiced' on this thread.

You are bulimic. You have disordered eating. You have a mental health issue.

Plus the fact that you have not told your child that her friends have eating disorders suggests you are in total denial. You have normalised an eating disorder for you and for your daughter

Seek help, you need it.

Doing it repeatedly over time could. Google it.

I'm leaving this thread now, I've stirred up too many emotions. I don't know why you posted this to be honest. If you really thought there was no problem why would you seek validation?

Your posts are actually quite chilling, OP.

You sound like you care about your weight, so why eat food that doesn't agree with your waistline?

You say you're in control, but how can you be when you can't control what you eat? And when you do, it's purged.

No one here is scorning you, we're trying to make you see what you're doing isn't normal. You're getting angry that no one agrees with you, because it's not normal!

Please get help or stop doing it.

Not ridiculous to get a heart attack wildswans.

A quick google gives this explanation from an eating disorder website:
When you vomit, you lose essential trace elements like potassium, sodium (salt) and electrolytes. Electrolytes are what keep the heart beating normally and if your electrolyte balance is disturbed through vomiting, your heart rhythm may become irregular.

You need to sit down, look in the mirror and have a really good soul search about whats really going on here and whether you really are ok. Deep down you know the answer I'm sure.

mentallywell

so its perfectly normal and not at all eating disorder related to vomit if you think the food you have eaten is high in kcals?

that has got to be the strangest post ive seen in ages... actually its not ive seen simmerler ones on the proanna sites

Mentallywell I think you have missed out on un somewhere in your post....not helpful and actually very dangerous to suggest to OP its ok.

wildswans... I probably should name change for this, but hey.

You say you are in control of the situation. If you genuinely felt you were in control of your weight you wouldn't make yourself sick.

People aren't trying to scare you, they are trying to support you the best they know how. Telling you making yourself sick wouldn't be supporting you, it would be enabling you to continue with behavior which is potentially harmful.

I think there are some posters on this thread who have no experience of throwing up after eating, but I think there are quite a few others who do, and realise it's not "normal" or healthy.

I'm guessing you are mainly happy with your decision to do this, and therefore don't see yourself as having a problem.

"To suggest the OP has bulimia is akin to suggesting that someone with a bit of a low mood is depressed."

This would be the same OP who says she quite often makes herself throw up after a rich/large meal (a binge perhaps?)?

Maybe it isn't "technically" bulimia, but it is at least ED-NOS.

*WRT this, you tend not to be classified as "technically" anorexic until you reach a certain weight. Even if you never eat they still wont class it as anorexia. So the view on bulimia is unsurprisingly just as strict.

wildswans

You have an eating disorder.

No, everyone does not do this.

I urge you to seek help.

if your DD has friends that do it and a mother that does it and you've had conversations about it with her, chances are she's doing it too.
What did you actually say to her when you had this discussion?

OP - if you are having to ask if you are BU then there is a small thought somewhere in your mind that you are BU - or you wouldn't ask.

Hold on to that thought - it could one day bring you out of denial, hopefully sooner rather than later, and allow you to get the help you need.

Mentallywell now I'm curious about your post? So the Op should just introspectively self diagnose, just ask her self if she is mentally well and making an informed choice about purging and if she tells herself she is and she does, then everything is ok because she could be doing something much worse to herself? Have I understood you correctly?

"To suggest the OP has bulimia is akin to suggesting that someone with a bit of a low mood is depressed."

Next there will be posts saying just because someone feels low after having a baby she's not necessarily depressed. Well, not necessarily, but there are a hell of a lot of people out there who could use a bit of help and don't get it because of this type of attitude.

I'm getting a bit too for this thread now.

Should point out, I have a few friends who threw up after eating "quite often" who now have osteoporosis. They are in their early 30s.

I used to do this, when I was in my twenties. I was never diagnosed with an ED, and don't really consider even now, that I had one. I just used to see it as "win win" - just like you said OP.

I did realise it wasn't normal though, and was very secretive about it.

I've never never been skinny (size 14-16).

I don't do it anymore.

Just thought I would answer your question as to if anyone else does it.

I've read this thread with interest. For 2-3 years I occassiobaly threw up after meals. I felt in control, it didn't really take over my life. I thought, "what's the harm.." it seemed almost overnight to take over my life. I couldn't go out to dinner with my friends, I'd prefer to stay in, stuff my face and know I could be sick in private. I drove home from
School eating packets of cookies then pulled over in country lanes to vomit. I was depressed, moody and totally ou of control. Where and when I could be sick ruled my life. If I knew I couldn't, I wouldn't eat.

I am totally recovered now, and the thought of sticking my fingers down my throat fills me with dread. I think that my bulimia was a symptom of the unhappiness i felt at that time in my life, (middle of a-levels at a top all girls school wherethe pressure was immense) and now that I feel happy and not depressed, I don't have the urge. (except sometimes when I'm drunk, I admit - but I quickly try and pick myself up and remind myself how miserable I was back then)

For those who are posting that bulimia = purging a certain amount of times a week or eating a certain amount of calories, I'd like to point out that, due to lack of capacity for treatment, mental health services make thresholds under which they will not accept people for treatment, you will find they vary in the UK according to which area you are in. If someone is convincing themselves that they have not got a "real" problem because they don't reach NHS/insurance company threshold for treatment, that is really, really worrying.

Wildswans - I am sorry to hear what you are going through. For your survey - I made myself sick once or twice as a teen when I wondered what it was all about, never done it since, I would imagine my behaviour is more common than yours. I feel sad for you that you can't have a lovely chilled evening having enjoyed your meal and instead need to go through this unpleasant and damaging process. If you were my Mum/my friend/my daughter, I would feel worried and sad for you that you are doing this, I hope that does not appear judgemental.

Actually OP, you say your DD has a lot of friends who do this, how would you feel if she did it?

From another perspective, how did she bring that conversation up? Do you not think it is at all possible that she brought it up because she knew you did it, and it was the only way she could think to broach the subject?

I know I had friends and relatives start a conversation about "someone they knew" doing a certain destructive behaviour in order to get me talking about it. Later on they'd admit that either they only mentioned it because they knew I did it (despite me thinking it was secret), and for some of them the "someone they knew" didn't exist, they just made it up in order to get me talking.

I have no experience in this matter except to say that since you are asking, I think YABU. I have NEVER done this and don't find it normal at all. I enjoy my food, I am a bit overweight, but I would never, ever consider doing this. Food (in this country) is pleasure and puking is disgusting. Why would you contaminate one with the other out of choice?

Merry Not helpful.

If you seriously think being sick "sometimes" according to you, that you are doing yourself no harm, Why don't you do some research?

The fact no one knows you do this in your RL, speaks volumes. You don't want them to know, and why? Because you know it is wrong.

I have fought hard in the past to beat ED. I used to live off half a sandwich a day, and exercise as much as I could. Then when I was caught out, I ate but then made myself sick. I have constantly battled with the image in my head that no matter what size I was, even at an 8, I was fat in my eyes.

BUT, I knew it was wrong. I knew deep down and that is why I hid it from everyone and didn't admit it to a soul!!

I actually think it isn't us on MN that you are trying to convince, you are trying to convince yourself. Hence this thread. Sorry, but you are WRONG.

If you don't have an eating disorder, I still don't understand why you would prefer to make yourself sick rather than exercise to burn calories. (And I don't mean just walking the dogs if you do that every day anyway - I mean additional exercise to make up for the additional food you've eaten.) Surely you must realise that making yourself sick isn't a healthy or ideal way to manage your weight?